Carson Beckett quotes from Stargate Atlantis

What?

Dr. Beckett

I just bought some wee baby turtles and no one knows to feed them!

Well, turtles are pretty hardy. I’m sure they’ll be fine.

And they make good soup.

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Hey, if we keep this up, there won't be much of a city left to save.

I'll try to run the drones into your least favorite buildings...McKay!

It should be working!

Dr. Beckett

Well, it's not working!

Look, if I give him any more power, he'll wake up and kill us all!

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Is that Dr. Weir I hear?

Yes, General, it's good to hear your voice too.

I didn't say it was good, Elizabeth. Please don't be offended as I express my surprise that Landry would send you on a mission like this.

Well, sir, General Landry didn't sanction this mission.

So am I to assume you're not surrounded by heavily armed SG teams and young, strapping Marines?

You've got myself, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, McKay, and Dr. Beckett.

[sarcastic] Oh, Dr. Beckett is it? Well, I'm comforted.

Dr. Beckett

[whispering to Weir] What's that supposed to mean?

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Dr. Beckett

Their ear-drums have been perforated.

How?

Dr. Zelenka

The whales are emitting an intense, low frequency pulse...like...like a sonar; as well as an EM field. The combination is very dangerous to humans - particularly in such close proximity.

[having heard none of this; his voice raised] It's the whales!

Dr. Beckett

[ignoring Rodney] Their hearing's been impaired; it should heal soon...

[continuing anyway; his voice still raised] It's their echolocation! It's creating very powerful vibrations! The closer we got, the worse it became!

Dr. Zelenka

Yes... [Raising his voice] Yes Rodney! We know!

[after a brief pause] Oh!

Lt. Col Sheppard

[after an even longer pause] What?

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One more time: mysterious energy pulse from a device created by the Ancients. I mean, who knows what kind of long-term effects I could be in for? I mean, there’s gross mutation, giantism, invisibility...

That would be cool. I turned into a bug.

Dr. Beckett

Alright. Like I said, as far as I can tell, he’s as healthy as a horse. I’m clearing you for active duty.

What are you insane?! Look, I need to be put under guard. Who knows what I could become?

What are the chances it could make him more pleasant?

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Yes, I'm me! I'm my old self!

Dr. Beckett

Are you certain?

Ya, I'm alive. I feel--I feel great--I feel--uh...um...hungry...

Lt. Col Sheppard

He's fine.

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Dr. Beckett

Tell them we'll be there in a jiff.

You guys hear that?

[over radio] Yay, faint hope!

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[The closing scene of the episode, Rodney stands alone on one of the city's piers, talking with 'imaginary Carson']

Dr. Beckett

How’d it go back on Earth?

It was, it was awful. [Turns to Carson and smiles at him] Your family was amazing, though.

Dr. Beckett

Aye, they are. Good turnout?

Oh, packed the church.

Dr. Beckett

Oh, that’s good to hear!

It’s not gonna be the same round here without you.

Dr. Beckett

Oh, you’re telling me!

You know, the universe is a big place. Who knows, maybe we’ll bump into each other again.

Dr. Beckett

Aye, who knows?

You were the closest thing to a best friend I ever had. I’m really, really sorry. I should have just...

Dr. Beckett

Hey. This isn’t your fault.

You’re just telling me what I want to hear.

Dr. Beckett

Well, that’s what best friends do sometimes. And in this case it also happens to be true. Take care of yourself, Rodney.

[Raises his hand] Goodbye, Carson.

[Carson fades out of existence whilst the view zooms out to see Rodney standing alone at the end of the pier as the episode ends]

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Dr. Beckett

Aye, you're damned right it is! First you tell me I'm not the only Carson Beckett, and then you tell me the other one died in a horrible explosion! [suddenly coming to a realization] Oh my God! My mother! You didn't tell her, did you?

Well...yeah.

Dr. Beckett

Good Lord!

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Dr. Beckett

[after Sheppard assists him in putting on his pack] Thank you. I must be a wee bit rusty.

You're not rusty, Doc. You were just never very good at this.

Dr. Beckett

Fair enough!

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[before freezing Beckett in stasis] You know, I was toying with the idea of programming dreams into these things. Interested? I could have you fishing in the Highlands...with a couple of tall blonde massage therapists?

Dr. Beckett

No, Rodney. I'll be fine.

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Dr. Beckett

I wish you'd told me we'd be doing so much walking.

Did I forget to mention that?

Dr. Beckett

Aye, you did. You also forgot to mention the fact that we'd be rappelling down the side of a mountain! My legs are seizing up.