John Sheppard quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Maj. Sheppard

How's the hand?

[Hand heals] Much better.

Maj. Sheppard

Sorry to hear that.

Dr. Weir

I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.

Dr. McKay

Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried.

Maj. Sheppard

[proudly] I shot him. [Dr. Weir gives him a stern look] In the leg!

Dr. McKay

I'm invulnerable!

Dr. Weir

Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?

Dr. McKay

[sing-song] IN - VUL - NER - ABLE!

Dr. Weir

Ok, take it off

Dr. McKay

Oh, you're just jealous.

Dr. Weir

Oh yes. Green with envy.

Dr. Beckett

He fainted.

Dr. McKay

Oh, there's got to be a better word.

Dr. Beckett

"Faint" is the proper medical term.

Dr. McKay

[defensively] I passed out from... manly hunger.

Maj. Sheppard

Well, hang in there. [over radio] Dr. Weir, this is Sheppard. McKay's okay. [smirks] He, uh, he fainted.

Dr. McKay

Oh yeah, that's very sympathetic. Let's all mock the dying man!

Maj. Sheppard

Apparently it's also an elevator.

Dr. McKay

Really?

Dr. Weir

We can stop taking the stairs everywhere.

Dr. McKay

[sarcastically] Oh, how nice for you all.

Maj. Sheppard

It's coming. I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.

Dr. McKay

Size doesn't matter.

Maj. Sheppard

That's a myth.

Dr. McKay

It'll fit. It traps the entity in subspace. You just just have to make sure it gets all the way in the containment vessel before you shut it off.

Dr. McKay

Oh, I apologize for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!

Maj. Sheppard

Don't talk to me about screwed! And let's not give up on Markham and Stackhouse either. There's plenty of time to solve this thing, but you've got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain!

Dr. McKay

I'm sorry. It's just, um, I react to certain doom a certain way.

Maj. Sheppard

[Looking on in distaste] Could you please not do that here?

Dr. McKay

My foot is still numb, if you'll excuse me.

Maj. Sheppard

Well at least your mouth still works fine.

When I am free, you will be the first that I feed upon.

Maj. Sheppard

[casually] Okie dokie. I'm gonna go make myself a sandwich.

Maj. Sheppard

You think it's worth checking out?

Dr. McKay

Any significant energy emission generally indicates technological civilization.

Maj. Sheppard

So... you think it's worth checking out?

Dr. McKay

[sarcastically] I'm sorry. Yes. Energy field good.

Dr. McKay

[seriously] Okay, maybe not.

Dr. McKay

No, no, no, no, he just doesn't like going through the Stargate.

Maj. Sheppard

He's worse than Dr. McCoy.

Teyla

Who?

Maj. Sheppard

The TV character that Dr. Beckett plays in real life.

Maj. Sheppard

You know we've been having these conversations for a couple of weeks now and I don't even know your name. You guys do have names right? Let me guess....Steve?

I am your death. That is all you need to know.

Maj. Sheppard

I prefer Steve

Dr. Weir

You do understand the Geneva Convention prohibits using prisoners for scientific experiments?

Maj. Sheppard

No offense, doc, but had the Wraith attended the Geneva Convention, they would have tried to feed on everyone there.

Dr. Beckett

"Victory at all costs." That sound familiar, Major?

Maj. Sheppard

Churchill.

Dr. Beckett

Aye. Never thought I'd disagree.

Maj. Sheppard

Look, what you people do with your C4 is none of our business. We just need food. As far as your little secret down here goes…well, uh…

Dr. McKay

We say, "What giant underground bunker?"

Dr. McKay

You do realise that long term exposure to these levels of radiation is extremely dangerous?

Our scientists tell me otherwise.

Dr. McKay

Well, they're wrong.

Maj. Sheppard

[nervously] Are we in danger now?

Dr. McKay

Oh, it would take days or weeks at these levels of radiation -- but I assume the Genii spend days or weeks down here?

Many of our people have spent their entire lives here.

Dr. McKay

Their entire short lives. [To John] We'll be fine - just as long as you weren't planning on having children.