Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Rodney.

Dr. McKay

Hmm? [realizes] Fine. [dials the rest of the address]

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Dr. McKay

The last Zero Point Module is depleted, but limited power. Turned out that our generators aren't going to hold back an ocean. Life support systems are working but the planet's atmosphere's breathable -- well, notwithstanding the inevitable allergens.

So now can our naqahdah generators supply enough power to the shield for defensive purposes?

Dr. McKay

Not even close.

On the surface without a shield? We're target practice.

Dr. McKay

I'm acutely aware of that, Major, but thank you for reinforcing it.

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Gateship One, ready to go.

Gateship One? A little Puddle Jumper like this?

It's a ship, it goes through a gate. Gateship One!

Oh, no, no, no, that's all wrong.

Dr. McKay thought it was cool.

Oh, okay, well, it's official... You don't get to name anything. Ever. [into radio] Flight, this is... Puddle Jumper!

Dr. McKay

This is Flight, I thought we were going with Gateship? [Weir gives him a stern, questioning look]

Negative, Flight.

Dr. McKay

Stand by. [to Weir] It's a ship, it goes through the gate. I thought... Fine. Puddle Jumper, you are clear to go.

Roger that. Dial it up, lieutenant.

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[about John and Teyla's exchange]

[wistfully] How come I never make friends like that?

Dr. McKay

You really need to get out more.

We're in another galaxy. How much more out can you get?

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[Beckett is explaining that his innoculation uses a mouse retrovirus]

Dr. McKay

Well, are there any side-effects?

Dry mouth, headache, the irresistible urge to run on a small wheel...

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[Weir interrupts McKay and Sheppard "testing" an Ancient shield]

I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.

Dr. McKay

Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried.

[proudly] I shot him. [Dr. Weir gives him a stern look] In the leg!

Dr. McKay

I'm invulnerable!

Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?

Dr. McKay

[sing-song] IN - VUL - NER - ABLE!

Ok, take it off

Dr. McKay

Oh, you're just jealous.

Oh yes. Green with envy.

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I wouldn't have thought you believed in ghosts.

Dr. McKay

I never used to, then I learned about things called Wraiths that can suck the life out of you with their hands. [raises hand, gestures demonstratively] What the hell is that?

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He fainted.

Dr. McKay

Oh, there's got to be a better word.

"Faint" is the proper medical term.

Dr. McKay

[defensively] I passed out from... manly hunger.

Well, hang in there. [over radio] Dr. Weir, this is Sheppard. McKay's okay. [smirks] He, uh, he fainted.

[Beckett grins]

Dr. McKay

Oh yeah, that's very sympathetic. Let's all mock the dying man!

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[about the transporter]

Apparently it's also an elevator.

Dr. McKay

Really?

We can stop taking the stairs everywhere.

Dr. McKay

[sarcastically] Oh, how nice for you all.

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[lighting a candle] Teyla told the Athosian children that lighting a candle would help protect them.

Dr. McKay

And you're doing it because...

[beat] It's gonna get dark in here.

Dr. McKay

Hmm. [turns on his flashlight]

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[about the entity]

It's coming. I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.

Dr. McKay

Size doesn't matter.

That's a myth.

Dr. McKay

It'll fit. It traps the entity in subspace. You just just have to make sure it gets all the way in the containment vessel before you shut it off.

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Why'd you close the door?

Dr. McKay

So that when the Stargate shuts down and the forward section is severed, we're not directly exposed to space.

Will it hold?

Dr. McKay

Like a screen door on a submarine. I just prefer hypoxia to explosive decompression. It's a personal thing.

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Dr. McKay

Oh, I apologize for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!

Don't talk to me about screwed! And let's not give up on Markham and Stackhouse either. There's plenty of time to solve this thing, but you've got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain!

Dr. McKay

I'm sorry. It's just, um, I react to certain doom a certain way.

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[Rodney has one foot on the conference room table and is massaging it through his sock]

[Looking on in distaste] Could you please not do that here?

Dr. McKay

My foot is still numb, if you'll excuse me.

Well at least your mouth still works fine.