B'Elanna Torres quotes from Star Trek: Voyager

Chakotay

You're going to have to find another way to deal with this.

B'Elanna

I don't know how.

Chakotay

We'll figure it out, together.

Seven of Nine

Don't worry, Lieutenant. The Son of K'Vok will not be joining us.

B'Elanna

Glad to hear it. Does this qualify as our second date?

The Doctor

Just think of me as your chaperone.

I want all the date you've collected.

Seven of Nine

I haven't completed the study.

B'Elanna

Then study this. Borg provokes Klingon. Klingon breaks Borg nose.

I'm not sure how I feel about getting inside Tom's head.

The Doctor

Maybe you'll be able to explain a few things when you get back.

The Doctor

[to Tom] You'll need a few days to fully recover. Think you can manage to stay off your feet for that long?

B'Elanna

If he doesn't, I'll break his legs.

The Doctor

Well, then, I'll leave you to B'Elanna's tender mercies.

B'Elanna

Why do I get the feeling you're not just interested in tachyon fields?

Chakotay

This could be the greatest anthropological find of my career. If there's an intelligent species down there, we'll be able to track their development. Not just for days or weeks, but for centuries.

B'Elanna

Watch them discover new and better ways of beating each other over the head.

Chakotay

They won't necessarily follow the Klingon model.

B'Elanna

As opposed to the human model?

B'Elanna Torres

According to this, I am supposed to have won a glorious victory against an army of 10,000 warriors.

Haven't you?

B'Elanna Torres

We haven't even encountered 10,000 warriors--well, unless you include the Borg.

Tom Paris

[to the Captain] What was I supposed to say? [referring to accepting a fight to the death with T'Greth]

B'Elanna Torres

How about NO?

Tom Paris

They were all watching--there would have been a riot if I refused.

So you're going to get yourself killed?!

Tom Paris

... what makes you so sure I'd lose?

Tom Paris

Maybe we should name her Kuvah'magh. [referring to his and B'Elanna's child]

B'Elanna Torres

Add it to the list.

Harry Kim

Captain Janeway murders a crewman? [referring to The Doctor's story]

Tom Paris

No. Captain Jenkins. Everybody has a different name: you're Kimble, [To B'Elanna Torres] you're Torry, and I am Lieutenant Marseille.

B'Elanna Torres

Oh, now that's creative!

'Chapter 5: Out of the Frying Pan', in which our protagonist must confront abusive colleagues. [A female crewman walks into sickbay]

I'm here for my physical?

B'Elanna Torres

Why don't you have a seat? Over here. [Lieutenant Marseille comes in]

Doctor! You'd better get down to engineering! [B'Elanna Torres smiles at his mustache, but straightens her face]

B'Elanna Torres

What's wrong?

A plasma conduit just exploded. At least 10 people are hurt. [B'Elanna Torres tried to leave sickbay, but she cannot leave because she is a hologram] Hey, genius! Forgetting something? [B'Elanna looks dumbfounded] Your mobile emitter?!

B'Elanna Torres

Oh, right! [Looks around sickbay] I don't see it. [Marseille points to a giant backpack behind her] THAT'S my mobile emitter? [Marseille picks up the extremely heavy backpack and puts it on her] Ugh, this thing must weigh 50 kilos!

You should be glad we let you out of your cage at all--now get going! [Scene changes to B'Elanna entering engineering, a character that looks like B'Elanna--named Torry--is observing the work of a crewman]

[to the working crewman] I'm impressed.

Really?

Absolutely! I haven't seen a dilithium matrix this far out of alignment since I served aboard a Ferengi garbage scowl. [Pushes crewman out of the way] I'll fix it, myself.

B'Elanna Torres

[To Torry] Hey, excuse me!

How many times have I told you?! Engineering is off-limits to holograms!

B'Elanna Torres

Maybe you should waive that restriction during emergencies. [Torry looks confused] A plasma conduit exploded?

Does it look like anyone here is covered with plasma burns?

B'Elanna Torres

Lieutenant Paris--uhh--Marseille told me there was an accident.

Cognitive subroutines are malfunctioning again. I'm surprised a matrix as primitive as yours can function at all.

B'Elanna Torres

Maybe you should be nicer to your shipmates, you never know when you might need their help.

[Pushes B'Elanna] Get one thing straight: you're not my shipmate. You're a tool--like this hyperspanner! And tools can be replaced! [Continues pushing B'Elanna ] So why don't you go back to sickbay before I start doing a little reprogramming?! [B'Elanna re-enters sickbay to find that the lights are off]

B'Elanna Torres

Computer, lights. [Discovers Marseille making out with the female crewman from the beginning on the surgical bed. The two get up and looked surprised at an unamused B'Elanna]

Didn't I tell you to go to engineering?

B'Elanna Torres

Oh, I get it. Interesting plot twist. You get me out of sickbay so you're free to give my patient a tonsillectomy.

[Walking towards B'Elanna] If you even think about mentioning this to my wife, I will purge your memory buffer. We understand each other? [Another female crewman walks into sickbay]

I'm here for my physical? [B'Elanna looks at a smiling Marseille]

The Doctor

My publisher assures me that he won't distribute the program until he receives the revised version.

B'Elanna Torres

That must be the one where we assimilate the Borg and take over the quadrant.

B'Elanna Torres

It's been months since I've been on an away mission.

Tom Paris

Then try the holodeck. The Flyer is full.

B'Elanna Torres

You can make room. Neelix doesn't have to go.

Tom Paris

He's not six months pregnant.

B'Elanna Torres

Being pregnant doesn't make me an invalid.

Tom Paris

[sighs] No, it doesn't. But there's a toxic atmosphere down there, and you're breathing for two.

B'Elanna Torres

[sighs] All right, you win. But if we have another baby, you carry it, and I'll go on the away missions.

Tom Paris

It's a deal. [they kiss]

Lt. Torres

[in labor] If you tell me to relax one more time, I'm gonna rip your holographic HEAD off!

The Doctor

I hope you don't intend to kiss your baby with that mouth.

Tell me this isn't another false alarm.

The Doctor

This isn't another false alarm.

I can't believe it.

Torres

[strained] Oh, believe it.

I might actually win.

Torres

What?

The baby pool. I picked today, 1500 hours.

Torres

I'm so glad I could accommodate you.

The Doctor

Don't celebrate yet. Klingon labor can sometimes last several days. [B'Elanna Torres grabs him by the shirt and screams] Of course, I'm sure that won't be the case here.