Tom Paris quotes from Star Trek: Voyager

Tom Paris

You shouldn't get your hopes up, Harry. No hopes, no disappointments.

Harry Kim

I'm not you.

Chakotay

Is your body armor designed to handle rapid pressure fluctuations?

It can defeat most hostile environments. I once tracked a silicon-based lifeform through the neutronium mantle of a collapsed star.

Tom Paris

I once tracked a mouse through Jefferies tube thirty two.

The Doctor

[To Quarren] I want to see your version of what happened.

Tom Paris

We've already drained two phaser banks, and it hasn't did anything!

Tuvok

Perhaps if you looked at your console once in a while instead of chasing the female ensigns, you'd see otherwise.

Harry Kim

Tom's right; this war was supposed to be over in five minutes!

Chakotay

[To Tom Paris] You have a better idea, lieutenant?

Tom Paris

As a matter of fact, I do: fighter shuttles. A direct assault.

[To Tom Paris] Led by you? Good luck.

Tom Paris

Watch your mouth, hedgehog!

Chakotay

I haven't heard a single good idea.

Tom Paris

Then propose something, first officer! Earn your rank for once! [Chakotay punches Tom Paris in the stomach while Neelix, Harry Kim and Tuvok try to separate them]

Kathryn Janeway

Gentlemen... [the fight continues] Gentlemen! [Captain Janeway pulls her phaser out and shoots a console, which breaks the fight] Save it for the holodeck! We've got a war to fight. We've only been attacking the Kyrian military instillation--a mistake. We should target the general population.

Excellent idea, captain. I've examined the Kyrian genome and they'd be vulnerable to any number of biological weapons.

Kathryn Janeway

How soon could you have one ready?

Within the hour.

Kathryn Janeway

Dismissed.

Tom Paris

[nervous about getting into a stasis chamber] Why do they have to design these things like coffins?

Harry Kim

Should we replicate you a teddy bear?

Tom Paris

(Beaming aboard the USS Dauntless with Chakotay and Tuvok) Wow!

Tuvok

Wow, indeed.

Tom Paris

Look at this, it looks like the quantum drive is being routed through the main deflector.

Chakotay

Is that what's creating the slipstream?

Tom Paris

It looks that way.

Tuvok

Fascinating. Can you make it stop?

Tom Paris

Welcome to planet X.

Harry Kim

Ok, so what's the plan?

Tom Paris

Well this is the part where we defeat Chaotica's soldiers steal their uniforms and infiltrate the underground tunnels.

Harry Kim

Hey, I thought you said there were slave girls in this one.

Tom Paris

After we infiltrate the fortress of doom, we'll free Chaotica's harem.

Tom Paris

[After hearing an unintelligible voice] Satan's robot.

Tuvok

Naturally.

Tom Paris

[reading telegram]Intercepted communications between Doctor Chaotica and Arachnia. Stop. Chaotica at war with aliens from fifth dimension. Stop. Must strike now to disable death ray.

Tuvok

Stop. Please summarize the message.

(Enters)(Pretending to be president)

Paris

How was your performance, Doc?

It was unimpeachable.

(upon seeing the photonic life-form) Invaders! Invaders! Inv- (gets hit by Tom Paris).

Tom Paris

Quiet!

(mumbling) Invaders...

Kathryn Janeway

Let me get this straight: trans-dimensional aliens have mistaken your Captain Proton simulation for reality.

Tom Paris

Yes ma'am.

Kathryn Janeway

And now an armed conflict has broken out between these aliens, and Chaotica's holographic army.

Tom Paris

Yes ma'am. His army of evil.

Tom Paris

Well, he's been attacking the aliens with his death ray.

Tuvok

It's a shame we don't have one.

[To Seven of Nine] Can't we make first contact? Or get into a space battle?!

Tom Paris

Yeah? Can't we?

Seven

Computer, activate the EMH.

Tom Paris

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.