The Doctor quotes from Star Trek: Voyager

The Doctor

Hair is one of my specialties, despite evidence to the contrary.

The Doctor

[Talking to Reginald Barclay about Deanna Troi] She's a counselor, lieutenant, not an engineer!

The Doctor

I'm a doctor not a zoologist. [The doctor then deactivates the holo-lizard in Dr. Zimmerman's lab.]

The Doctor

Sometimes being a hologram has its advantages.

You're more talented in the art of deception than you led me to believe.

The Doctor

I was inspired by the presence of a master.

What's this mean about no Klingon friends?

The Doctor

Exactly that. They're a bad influence on you. They're prone to violence, they keep you out 'til all hours... Why don't you find some nice Vulcan friends?

The Doctor

Fortunately, the Mari didn't get very far with the procedure. You can return to duty, Lieutenant. Though, perhaps, with one or two fewer violent engramms in that fiery head of yours.

B'Elanna Torres

It's alright, Doc. There plenty more where those came from.

The Doctor

Duly warned.

The Doctor

Computer, display the design schematics of this ship, and list general specifications.

USS Prometheus, experimental prototype designed for deep-space tactical assignments. Primary battle systems include regenerative shielding, ablative hull armour, multi-vector assault mode.

The Doctor

Multi-vector assault mode? Describe.

Access to tactical data requires level 4 clearance.

The Doctor

What can you show me at MY clearance level!?

Hand me the thrombic modulator.

The Doctor

[looks down at a variety of instruments] Umm..... mmm... [picks up a spherical one, activates it] Uhh?

[rolls eyes] It's the cone-shaped one. Hand it to me please... Medical science has made a few advances while you've been in the... Delta Quadrant, did you say?

The Doctor

That's right.

We don't use scalpels or leeches, anymore.

The Doctor

I've even had sexual relations.

Sex?! But how is that possible?! We're not equipped-

The Doctor

Let's just say I made an addition to my program.

Before you leave... perhaps you could download those sub-routines into my database?

I hope your myriad of adventures included piloting lessons, because there's nothing in my program that would help us fly this thing.

The Doctor

I've had my share of piloting experience. Actually, only two lessons... and they were in a shuttle craft... on the holodeck--but I showed great intuition! [Looks around the bridge, confused] Where's the helm?

The Doctor

Stop breathing down my neck.

My breathing is merely a simulation.

The Doctor

So is my neck; stop it anyway!

Doctor, some...thing just went offline!

The Doctor

Specifically?

The secondary gyrodyne relays of the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarized!

The Doctor

In ENGLISH!

I am just reading what it says here!

Specify attack pattern.

The Doctor

Attack pattern... Alpha?

Specify target.

ROMULANS!

The Doctor

You hit the wrong ship!

It wasn't my fault.

The Doctor

Then whose fault was it, the torpedo's? You're supposed to tell it what to do!