SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 3
“Chocolate with Nuts” · Season 3
In this episode: Patrick (5), Abrasive SpongeBob (4), Tom (1), Mary (1)
Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?
[holds two chocolate bars: one with a peanut logo, and one without] Yes, sir, with or without nuts.
[going mad] Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?! CHOCOLATE!!!! [SpongeBob and Patrick are concerned and slowly back away from the screaming fish. They then run off as Tom chases them while madly screaming] CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!
[SpongeBob rings the doorbell and the same con-artist who sold them a bunch of candy bar bags appears]
Yes?
Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?
I don't recall, but it looks to me that you boys have a lot of bags there. You two ladykillers are too smart to be without one of my patented candy-bar-bag-carrying bags.
We'll take 20.
Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good.
[Patrick knocks on the door. The fish opens the door]
Hello?
I love you.
[A harp plays as the customer shuts his door]
I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal.
Remember, Patrick, focus. [knocks]
Yes?
Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars.
[Patrick's eyes zoom in and out on the customer]
Why is Chubby here staring at me?
Focusing.
Back up, Jack. [slams the door on Patrick's eyes]
Oof! [moves his eyes around] Nice place you got in here.
Yes?
Hello, young lady. [winks at Patrick, who chuckles] We're selling chocolate. [sultry] Is your mother home?
Mom!
[Her mother, a shriveled up lump of dust, enters]
What, what, what's all the yelling?! You just can't wait for me to die, can you?!
They're selling chocolate.
Chocolate?
Yeah!
What, what are they selling?!
Chocolates!
What?!
Chocolates!
I can't hear you!
THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATES!!
They're selling chocolate?
Yeah!
Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it!
Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...
You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever!
Live forever, ya say? I'll take one!
[Mary slaps her; she goes back inside as Mary pays SpongeBob]
Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
I hate you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
