All right, everyone, listen up. In order for better understanding, we've asked students of Canadian origin to introduce you to their culture and—HEY, LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!! Now where was I? Oh. yeah. We've asked students of Canadian origin To introduce you to their culture and customs. So let's give them our undivided attention as they take us on a whirlwind journey through their diverse history. [hands microphone to Canadian kids]
We are the Hopewell and Abenaki, first settlers of Canadian soil, guy. [hands mic over to second group]
We are French and British explorers, seeking furs and goods. [Mr. Garrison walks up and takes the mic]
Yeah, and I'm Dan Rather, and I got news for you! Nobody wants you here! [long beat] Sorry not sorry! It's time for someone to say it like it is, and make our country great again!
Garrison, what do you think you're—?!
And I'm also not afraid to stand up to PC Principal! You, sir, have a pizza face and you suck your mom's dick!
[beat] That's it, Garrison! You are fired from South Park Elementary!
Oh, see? And now I'm fired! That's the cold, hard truth of immigration! Well, there's only one immigration policy that I believe in, and that's f**k them all to death!! [all students gasp] I'm just saying what everyone's thinking here, kids! Sorry not sorry!
[Later in the school hallway, the Canadian kids walk off angrily]
Dude, the Canadians are pissed off.
Can you really blame them?
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