[outside the hotel, as Stuart is being put into the ambulance]
Are you all right, Stuart?
Don't touch me! I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned, and been made love to in the ass by three dozen 40-year-old men! [sobs] I just want to go home and take a--a hot bath!
[all the pedophiles are now arrested]
[to NAMBLA leader] We've been after you for a long time, buddy! Do you know your rights?
Rights? Does anybody know their rights? You see, I've learned something today.
[Stan and Kyle glance at each other]
Our forefathers came to this country because...they believed in an idea. An idea called "freedom". They wanted to live in a place where a group couldn't be prosecuted for their beliefs. Where a person can live the way he chooses to live. You see us as being perverted because we're different from you. People are afraid of us, because they don't understand. And sometimes, it's easier to persecute than to understand.
Dude, you have sex with children!
We are human. Most of us didn't even choose to be attracted to young boys. We were born that way. We can't help the way we are, and if you all can't understand that, well, then... I guess you'll just have to put us away!
[For a fleeting moment, the federal agents, Marlon Brando lookalikes, and sundry bystanders show expressions of pity, but Kyle chimes in to remind everybody that...]
[slowly, for emphasis] Dude! You have sex with children!
Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude, fuck you.
Seriously!
Alright, that's enough! You're going to be put away for a long time!
[the agents lead the pedophiles away into custody]
Well, Cartman?
Well what?
Don't you think you owe everyone an apology for bringing NAMBLA here?
Yeah!
[half-heartedly] Alright, alright, I'm sorry I almost got you guys all raped. There.
And now, you still wanna hang out with older mature friends?
No, I guess you guys will blossom into maturity someday. Just don't take too long.
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