[wakes up as his phone rings and answers it] 'Sup, dude?
Dude, do you know Aaron Hagen?
Uh, yeah, the first grader?
You should come down to his house. His dad just killed his mom.
What?!
“Informative Murder Porn” · Season 17, Episode 2
In this episode: Randy Marsh (3), Stan Marsh (2), Stephen Stotch (2), Eric Cartman (1)
[naked and at Stan's door after finding out a parental lock has been put on the TV] Stan. Stan! How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?
[barely awake in bed] What?
What is Minecraft and how do you tame a horse in it?
You guys don't need to be watching that stuff.
Oh! Come on! You can't block your parents from watching informative murder porn! What? Ya-you think if we watch shows about married people killing each other all the time we're gonna go out and do it? That's stupid! I'm not going to go out and kill your mom just because I watch Investigative Discovery, Stan. I'd be impossible to clear away all the DNA evidence anyway! Even if I hired someone else to kill her, I'd have to kill that person, too, because 96% of the time that person eventually tells the truth! I thought this through a lot! Stan? You're a lousy kid! I WISH JADEN SMITH WAS MY SON!
Who do our children think they are, blocking our TV content?!
TMrs. Tweak
How are they able to do this with their smartphones?
It's all right. Our kids think they outsmarted us, but we're the ones who pay the cable company.
Nice one, Stotch! Your castle fucking sucks!
Ah, go to hell, you griefer!
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