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S4 E13

South Park · Season 4, Episode 13

“Helen Keller! The Musical” quotes from South Park

4 quotes

“Helen Keller! The Musical” · Season 4, Episode 13

In this episode: Eric Cartman (2), Kyle Broflovski (1), Mr. Mackey (1), Principal Victoria (1)

[Kyle has agreed to buy a turkey from a rancher]

How much?

RRancher

Fifty bucks.

But you were just gonna take it out in the backyard and put a bullet in its head!

RRancher

I know! Now I gotta find something else to shoot.

Speak to me, Helen. Let me be your voice. [nothing happens] Come on, you blind bitch! Channel your spirit through me!

[Cartman has agreed to be blindfolded and ear muffed to get an idea of Helen Keller's perspective; he sees various frightening images of things like skulls, gore, and violence, as well as sugary foods.]

Oh, man!

MMaynard

What did you see?

Nothing, just the same old crap I always see when I close my eyes.

Every year the fourth-graders do The Miracle Worker and every year I have to sit and watch it.

Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one more time I'd put a bullet in my head. But luckily I got really stoned before I came.

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