Jax Teller quotes from Sons of Anarchy

Jax Teller

Some days you're the Beamer, some days you're the goddamn deer.

Chibs Telford

Some yuppie creamed it out by the streams.

Jax Teller

He run into it or hit a tree while it was giving him head?

How the hell you want me to get it out of there? [Jax gets a chainsaw] Come on. Jesus, man.

Jax Teller

Just pretend its carve your own steak night at The Sizzler.

I don't eat meat, man.

Jax Teller

Figure it out, grunt.

Gemma

[about Abel] You gotta go see him, Jax.

Jax Teller

I can't.

Gemma Teller

Why? Cause he'll break your heart? It's called being a father.

Jax Teller

For how long? A day? A week?

Gemma Teller

You know, you were born with that same heart defect your little brother had. [She lightly punches his chest] You seem pretty sturdy to me. I came through hell, landed on my feet. Your father was hit by a goddamn semi, dragged 178 yards. And that bastard lived for two more days. Tellers do not die easy.

Jax Teller

No, we just die bloody.

Gemma Teller

That's the Irish in us.

David Hale

How you doing Jax? I heard about Wendy and the baby. I'm sorry.

Jax Teller

Thanks.

David Hale

You know I took a ride out to the streams today. Saw that warehouse that burned down.

Jax Teller

Outside your jurisdiction, ain't it?

David Hale

You ever heard of a Bluebird Supply Company? Apparently they hold the title on that parcel.

Jax Teller

Never heard of them.

David Hale

Whole area was littered with casings and gun parts. That warehouse was a weapons depot.

Jax Teller

No kidding?

David Hale

Chief Unser's retiring at the end of this month. I'll be stepping into those shoes. Unser's always had a look the other way policy with the Sons of Anarchy.

Jax Teller

Unser's a lazy drunk.

David Hale

I will not look the other way, Jax. Just a friendly heads up.

Jax Teller

We're all free men, protected by the Constitution. You look any way you want, Chief.

Clay Morrow

You think a Son had something to do with that rape?

David Hale

Half of 'em have violent crimes on their rap sheets. Just following logic.

Jax Teller

Wasn't it just last week four Oakland cops were busted for prostitution and rape? Logic tells me we should ask where your dick was at last night.

Clay Morrow

And don't say in your mama.

David Hale

Officers Mann and Fain will be taking your statements. Could take hours.

Clay Morrow

I'm trying to run a business here.

David Hale

We can do it here, at the station house, wherever you want to do it. And don't say, "In your mama".

Jax

[to guy sitting on his bike] Say 'Cheese.'

Cheese.

Bobby

That's before.

Before?

Jax

Don't ever sit on another man's bike, asshole…

Bobby

That's after.

Bobby

You are the James T. Kirk of the MC world.

Jax

Boldly going where no man's gone before?

Bobby

I think quite a few have been there before.

Opie

Well I'd better get back to the fireworks or your mom's gonna be stuffing gun powder up my ass.

Jax

Ya, I'm sure we're all on the Gemma shit list by now.

Clay

I live on that shit list.

I didn't sign on for burned bodies, dead sheriffs.

Jax

I know.

This is over.

Jax

Hey, Trammel. It's too late for over, man. You know all about us, and we know all about you. Look, only way this relationship works is two of us together, or one of us dead.

Jax

Can you distract the doctors?

Tig

Yeah. No problem…Excuse me, ladies. How you doing? Uh, you're doctors, both of you?

Yeah.

Tig

[unzipping his pants] Oh, thank god. Um, a Doberman pinscher took a chunk of my ass.

Oh, god

Tig

Wait, can we just…

You need to go to the E.R.

Jax

Distract them. I said distract them, not scar them for life.

Tig

I'm serious. I think it's infected.

Jax

You guys gave it your best shot. You've got nothing on SAMCRO. And you harassing Tara, that ends here…or next time it won't be a piece-of-shit car I'm draining fluid from.

You threatening a federal agent?

Jax

I'm threatening you.

Unser

Why am I looking at one of Oswald's tanker's?

Jax

Ah, that leads us to our next conversation with the owner of Unser Trucking. Its 8,500 gallons of diesel. It's yours for 20k.

Unser

Stolen diesel.

Jax

Gas costs gotta be killing your bottom line. I'm offering you a 50% discount.

Unser

Half the cost, twice the risk.

Jax

Come on. You fill your pumps after dark and a uni finds the tanker on the side of the road. Insurance covers Oswald, and you run your trucks at a buck-ninety a gallon for the next six weeks. Where's the risk in that?

Unser

Can you at least pretend I'm a cop sometimes?

Jax

What happened with me and Tara is ancient history, Mom.

Gemma

She hurt this family. Tried to pull you away.

Jax

I didn't leave, did I?

Gemma

But she did. Broke your heart.

Jax

I guess.

Gemma

You guess? She crushed you, Jax.

Jax

I was 19. It was first love bullshit. I grew up. I got over it. It's time you got over it too.

Gemma

Somebody hurts your baby, you never get over it.

Jax

Kid gets out of the toaster today.

Tig

You get to hold your son?

Chibs

That's great, Jackie boy. Congrats.

Clay

At least we know one good thing's gonna happen today, huh?

Jax

Do you love me? It's a simple question.

Tara

It's not a simple answer.

Jax

I know.

Jax

Opie's not a rat. He did 5 years for this club.

Tig

Maybe he doesn't want to do 25 more.