Bobby Munson quotes from Sons of Anarchy

Bobby

Tig's got a gash the size of your attitude on his leg. Got enough Advil for that?

Bobby

[to Clay] When you want blind action, you go to Tig. When you want the truth, you come to me.

Jax

[to guy sitting on his bike] Say 'Cheese.'

Cheese.

Bobby

That's before.

Before?

Jax

Don't ever sit on another man's bike, asshole…

Bobby

That's after.

Bobby

You are the James T. Kirk of the MC world.

Jax

Boldly going where no man's gone before?

Bobby

I think quite a few have been there before.

Clay

Hey, you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size nine high-heel boot up your ass.

Bobby

You coming?

Clay

I'd rather have my balls cut off.

Clay

What? What? Too soon for that joke?

Clay

[about Opie] What's going on with him?

Bobby

His heart's in it. His head's someplace else.

Clay

Too much of that shit going around lately.

Tig

You ever get high off of this?

Piney

It's just oxygen.

Tig

No, I know. I know. But can't you just turn it up and get, like, you know, the Blue Velvet kind of thing going on.

Piney

What the hell is wrong with him?

Bobby

The list is too long, my friend.

Clay

Ah, sad Elvis.

Bobby

Oh, blow me. Goddamn Bar Mitzvahs are killing me.

Clay

Why you doing it, then? Tahoe gigs will come back around.

Bobby

I'm buried. Inside for two months, child support, alimony, and my oldest needs oral surgery. They gotta cut his frenum. What the hell is a frenum?

Clay

Sounds Jewish.

Bobby

Sounds expensive.

Bobby

You and Clay, the guys are worried.

Jax

Ah, nothing to worry about.

Bobby

Convince me.

Tig

Clay said your task is to be my bitch.

Bobby

Yeah, he did.

Tig

Then I got one request. You leave that piece of shit Fat Boy on the side of the road.

Bobby

I've never seen us beat up this bad. Half of our crew is in hospital beds. The medical bills alone, they're gonna bury us.

Jax

Yep.

Bobby

We got to fix the things we can. You and Clay, whatever it is, it's gonna land on you to make it right.

Jax

What makes you think this would land on me?

Bobby

Because Clay is old, mean, and he is never gonna admits that he made a mistake. He's earned that.

Jax

Nah, man. Time don't mean anything.

Bobby

I'm doing the best I can to hold us together, but if this split gets any worse, I'm gonna have to pick a corner. You know this club needs a healing brother. And you got to be the one to deliver it.

[about his prosthetic testicle] It's a little bit painful when I ride. Sometimes I feel it when I walk. Other than that, back to normal.

Tig

Is it gay that I want to see it?

Bobby

Gay curious.

Tig

Come on, drop 'em.

Bobby

Showtime.

Is it supposed to be that swollen?

Think so.

Tig

They look uneven.

Opie

You hit that?

Jax

No...didn't feel right.

Bobby

Feels just about right to me.

Jax

Dude, you're twice her age and three times her weight.

So?

Bobby

Is that Gemma's meatloaf?

Tig

Yes. I missed this almost as much as pussy.

Bobby

[Looking at a guy being eaten alive by ants] How long are they gonna leave him there?

Clay

Til the picnic's over.