Juice Ortiz quotes from Sons of Anarchy

Juice Ortiz

[to Lin] I'm a rat. What makes you think I wouldn't be a liar, too?

Juice Ortiz

I know Jax has tasked you with killing me, and if the Chinese do it, it could impact your relationship with the MC. [Reaches down into his boot, pulls out a scalpel, hides it under a napkin, and slides it to Tully] Just let me finish my pie.

Juice

I am not happy about being here either. At least you and I, you know-we can try to have a decent conversation.

Tig

What? What do you want? You want to bond? You want to get closer? Fine.

Juice

What are you doing?

Tig

I'm gonna dunk my balls in your mouth. You're gonna gag. I'm gonna laugh. We'll be best friends forever.

Tig

I thought you said you drugged the meat?

Juice

I did.

Tig

Look at him, he's foamin' at the mouth.

Juice

That thing should be dead. I dosed it like two grams.

Tig

Grams of what?

Juice

Crank.

Tig

You fed crystal to a killer doberman, Are you retarded?

Juice

No.

Tig

So you stole an ambulance?

Juice

I had nothing to do with this.

Hell, these things are worth, like, a hundred grand, easy.

Clay

Yeah, they are. That's why the people who buy 'em are, like, state and federal agencies. So, uh, what? You want me to sell a stolen vehicle to the government?

Oh, uh, just something like a small hospital or something.

Clay

Oh, like, uh, Uncle Freddy's Infirmary?

Tig

Why don't you just steal, like, a fire engine? And then we could have our own rescue center. We could have our own little uniforms and hats.

Juice

Take him out? That means like kill him?

Chibs

No. I think what it means is dinner and a movie.

Clay

Thoughts?

Chibs

Everybody loves pussy.

Opie

I second that.

Juice

Third it.

Tig

I’m a very big fan of pussy.

Clay

All in favor? Like I gotta ask.

Pussy!

Clay

Looks like we're making movies.

Jax

I arranged a meet at the P.C. infirmary. You gotta distract Dion, unlock the guard gate, and let in Russell's crew.

Juice

How do I get there?

Juice

[groaning] I think you cracked my rib.

Tig

I know, I'm sorry.

Clay

Nobody speaks Spanish... nothing?

Juice

I'm a Puerto Rican from Queens! I speak better Yiddish!

Juice Ortiz

I need to know if there's something I can do to earn my way back. I'll do anything, man. Please.

Chibs Telford

If I were you, I'd take that gun, put it in my mouth and pull the trigger.