Clark Kent quotes from Smallville

Lois

But what's with the wardrobe malfunction?

Clark

What? This is a nice shirt.

Lois

Human Resources is going to be down here any minute, and you do not want to meet them looking like... the brawny lumberjack.

Clark

I'm Clark Kent.

Davis Bloome

Davis Bloome. I met your fiancée. Clark, congratulations. She's a real catch.

Clark

I'm getting married?

Davis Bloome

Well, I thought that-- 'cause I thought you and Chloe were together, and you seemed pretty close. When she said she was engaged...

Clark

Chloe's engaged?

Davis Bloome

Oh, man, okay, my brain's completely gone completely D.O.A. Clark, she said she hadn't told anyone yet. Do me a favor. Don't tell her I said anything.

Clark

I won't reveal my source.

Lois

You know endorphins? They're hormones that are released when the body performs a certain activity.

Clark

Like when you play a sport.

Lois

Or there's another kind of activity two people share, repetitive motion, builds to a climax.

Clark

Thank you.

Lois

Chloe?

Clark

Jimmy?

Lois

You know what Lois likes to see when she comes home? Pants. Pants on everyone.

Oliver

(walking in on Lois and Clark at the jewelry store) What are you two doing here?

Lois

Oliver! Uh, didn't get the invitation yet?

Oliver

Invitation to what?

Lois

Uh, tell him, cupcake.

Clark

(shooting Lois a look) Wh... Lois and I are... we're getting married.

John Jones

Where'd you get this list?

Clark

I memorized it off Chloe's desk.

John Jones

I didn't realize that photographic memory was among of your abilities.

Clark

It's more like speed-reading, but let's not split hairs.

John Jones

She couldn't just *give* you a copy?

Clark

Chloe and I don't always see eye to eye on this one.

John Jones

[refers to Lois] Well, what about your mouthy cohort? She hasn't poked her nose into this one, either.

Clark

She's on assignment, which is code for "Monster Truck Rally in Lubbock".

John Jones

And I assume your emerald ally and his super friends are still on hiatus, which leaves you.

Clark

Solo. I get it.

Clark

Tell me you're sober.

Oliver

Let me tell you something— I wish I wasn't sober. I can be in a cabana in Aruba right now. Instead, I'm in the middle of downtown on a rooftop with you guys.

Clark

You didn't hear me complain when I had to put on green leather to protect your identity.

Oliver

Clark, you made out with my girlfriend, man. What did you have to complain about?

Oliver

Hallmark didn't have any "Welcome back to Earth" cards. So...

Clark

It's nice to see everyone has a key to this place.

Clark

Hey, it's nice to see the kinder, gentler Chloe.

Chloe

Nothing like having a binary bad guy cleansed from your system to put a spring back in your step.

Lana

(laughing) Please tell me that the bed was already wobbly.

Clark

Lana, it's made of solid oak. What do you say we find out how strong the floor is?

Lois

What guns you got in your arsenal?

Clark

(Sighs) I guess I might as well just throw it all out there. I can blast fire out of my eyes.

Lois

Okay...

Clark

I can hear a dog barking from ten miles away. I can see through solid objects and I can run faster than the speed of sound.

Lois

Wait. Rewind. (discreetly covers herself) Expand on your whole... see-through-things... thing.

Clark

Did Lex talk to you about me?

Tess

He kept a journal.

It's okay. I'm Chloe.

Stood-her-up-at-formal Chloe. Planted-one-on-you-because-Zod-was-ending-the-world Chloe.

Krypton, Jor-El, Fortress, Brainiac Chloe!

Clark

(truth dawning) Chloe!?!

Bingo.

Clark

(referring to Alia) She told me that I would cause the end of the world. It's like I have a ticking time bomb on me, Chloe, and I only have a year to figure out how to stop it.

Chloe

Well, you can't believe everything an assassin tells you. I mean, what does she know, anyway, right?

Clark

The future.

Chloe

Right. The future.

Chloe

Lois stopped by and found Shelby here alone with a dish full of food. Now, don't worry, I covered for you. But you should know that you are now on her radar.

Clark

Thanks. I'll be more careful next time.

Chloe

Dressed like that? Clark, what if I was Lois? She would take one look at you and realize Clark Kent is the Blur.

Clark

I told you, there is no Clark Kent.

Chloe

No disrespect to your Kryptonian calling, but coming back to feed the dog is about as human as it gets.