Lois Lane quotes from Smallville

Lois

Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked men. [Martha stares] Okay, that didn't come out right...

Lois

Face it, Clark is no different then any other red-blooded male. His brain is not his commanding officer.

Lois

Official warning -- I'm a third degree black belt. That means I can't be held liable for any funeral costs.

Lois

Okay. Better make sure that camera is loaded with ammo because I got tomorrow's headline. "Daughter of Nobel-Winning Astronomer Murdered".

Lois

Find me a 24-hour market. I need a sports drink, as much vitamin B as you can get your hands on, and one dill pickle. Let's go! Tick tock!

Lois

I don't do too well with fortune tellers. The last one I went to see, told me I was destined to fall for a guy who flies a lot and likes to wear tights. So I'm just waiting for my cross-dressing pilot to make his landing.

Lois

And remember what the General always says: "Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy". (she pauses) You can edit that last part out, right?

Lois

I'll get my best men on it... and when I say men, I mean me because I work in the basement.

Lois

Even when I did lower the bar and tried to slom a Green Arrow interview, it turns out Mr. Emerald-Chaps is another closet case when it comes to publicity.

Lois

(upon entering Watchtower) OK Chloe, you remember when we were ten and I kicked you out of my clubhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd just build a cooler one? You win.

Lois

Tess. How not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I've ever been in... twice.

Lois Lane

Hello. Mister...El? I'm here to talk about your son, Clark. Kal-El. Look, I know as a parent, you had to make the hardest decision ever to save your son and send him here alone. When my Mom was dying, she tried to protect me, too. And I love her, but she was wrong. I will never get to hold her again. But you -- you can still be there for Clark -- I mean, Kal-El. Your son needs a father who believes in him. I-I wish I knowing that I loved him was enough. But Clark Kent can't fully hear it with the ghost of your disappointment haunting him. You're stopping him from fulfilling his potential. He's an amazing man. He's a hero. (waits for a response from Jor-El, nothing) Really? Nothing? You know, you may not care about anybody else but yourself, but Clark does. And you're not 1/10 the Kryptonian he is. He's lucky to be rid of you!

Lois Lane

My Turkish is a little rusty, but it seems someone managed to pull off a supersave there, and now Ankara's also wondering who America's Blur hero is. Meanwhile, in Buenos Aires, they are offering a national commendation to "El Salvador de Rojo y Azul" if he'd stand still long enough to receive it. And I won't even bother with the Chinese because I would just sound racist.

Lois Lane

(wedding vows to Clark) I wanted these vows to be perfect, but perfection's a hard thing to get your hands on. But life is meant to be a little messy. And when it comes to love, I think it's like my dad always said about the army. You only sign up if it's the only thing you can ever imagine doing. And Clark, I cannot imagine spending a moment of my life without you. So I promise that I will always have your back as you will always have mine. You're my best friend, you're my home, and you are my true love, and I am yours and will be forever.

I am fine.

Lois

You've just been hit by lightning, you're stark naked, and you don't even remember your own name. You have a fairly loose definition of "fine".

Lois

[to herself] Look at his face... I have a blanket in the trunk.