Clark Kent quotes from Smallville

Clark

Oliver, is this your idea of fun now that you've hung up your bow?

Oliver

Should have known it was you. Clark Kent, the king of buzzkill. You and your pet rock put on a hell of a barbecue, but I had my money on Doomsday, so...

Clark

You can try and play it off as a joke. But I know that the loss of Jimmy affected us both.

Oliver

Well, I guess God's got a sick sense of humor. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking your name in vain.

Clark

I'm trying to make up for what happened, not add myself to the casualty list.

Oliver

Yeah, well, I can't get my thrills leaping tall buildings or outrunning speeding bullets. We mere mortals, we have to rely on a tweaked-out Ducati and the open road.

Emil

I could try. It'll take me at least a half hour to cross town.

Clark

Do you get motion sickness?

Emil

Mm, not really. Why do you ask?

Chloe

Really?

Chloe

So the question is: how do we know that this isn't just your super hearing on the fritz?

Clark

As loud as Lois is, even she can't speak with her mouth closed.

Chloe

Good point.

Clark

What are you doing here? (hears Lois's thoughts)

Lois

Standing in the shadow of six-and-a-half foot of handsome. No, Lois, he doesn't get off that easy. Kick his ass!

Clark

I heard you were back.

Oliver

You do know, of course, you look absolute ridiculous in that, right? And I got a great tailor, hook you up with a little color, maybe.

Clark

Nice to see you finally discovered something worth living for after all.

Oliver

You've done a hell of a job keeping the world safe on your own, Clark. I'm here to help you now.

Clark

Good. Something tells me...soon the world will need all the help we can get.

Lois

Look, I appreciate you helping me audition, I'm still angry you didn't tell me how bad Oliver was doing, but you're here anyway, so please, don't make me wish you weren't.

Clark

It's okay, Lois. You don't need to get all worked up like you usually do.

Lois

Well, excuse me Mr. I'm-slow-and-steady-and-know-what's-best-for-everyone, this happens to be important to me. With newspapers on the endangered species list, news television is my one and only back-up plan.

Clark

Don't you think you can be a little less dramatic with this whole thing?

Lois

You could be a little more passionate with this whole thing. But not you, not mild-mannered Clark Kent. Do you even care if I get this job?

Clark

Of course I care, I bought a new tie.

Lois

Oh, well I bought a whole new outfit.

Clark

Yeah, you look great.

Lois

Don't do that.

Clark

Do what?

Lois

Don't you dare reassure me right now.

Clark

Lois, I'm only doing this for you. How else am I going to get that second date?

Lois

(Pauses) Well, you should have thought of that before you stood me up the first time.

Lois

(talking to the waiter) You got anything stronger?

Of course.

Clark

Last thing you need is a drink Lois.

Lois

Thanks Clark. You sound like my mother on prom night. How do I look?

Clark

If this were a prom, you'd be crowned queen. Your date's a lucky man.

Lois

Do I detect a note of jealousy in the notoriously nice Clark Kent? Be careful my date doesn't hear you. He might just have to take you down.

Clark

(chuckles) Like to see him try.

Lois

You know what they say: all's fair in love and war.

Clark

And what's it gonna be for us Lois? Love or war?

Lois

Clark, it sounds like you're asking me out on another date?

Clark

If I was, would you say yes?

Lois

I'll tell you what I'd say... (sees Oliver walking in) Oliver!

Clark

Lois?

Lois

Did you hear? The brilliant brass over at KZXP have decided to go with someone else for their morning show.

Clark

Lois?

Lois

After everything that happened, after Ollie and I almost got killed, guess who they've decided to go with? (She shows him a promo picture of Catherine Grant as the new correspondent.)

Lois

Apparently blondes test better with morning viewers.

Clark

Lois!

Lois

I'm sorry, I never should have tried out in the first place, or dragged you with me, and I just--

Oliver

You know, Clark, if you wanna bury me in the desert for going on that date with Lois... you could've at least taken me to Nevada.

Clark

Oliver, let's not...

Oliver

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna put up a fight. But maybe we could've hit the Strip before the main event, you know what I mean? Maybe a little Blue Man Group... maybe a little Carrot Top. You know, what I'm getting you next year for Christmas is a sense of humor.

Lois

I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all and get to know each other better.

Clark

Better? You tell me the color of your underwear every day. What else is there to know?

Lois

Clark, sorry I'm late. I was watching the monster truck jump finals, Grave Maker lost his drive train. He is never coming back.

Clark

It's okay Lois he's just a truck.

Lois

Aw Clark, come on that's like saying Tommy Lee's just a drummer. Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.

Clark

You just have to look a little deeper.

Clark

I need to figure out a way to reverse this. I think I breathed in some sort of new meteor rock.

Emil

(laughs) Dude, hasn't anyone ever told you not to inhale?

Clark

Quiet weekend at home, huh?

Chloe

Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be there.

Lois

And we had no idea there was even a "you two", which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.

Oliver

Well, it's a... it's... it's a little less fate, actually.

Chloe

(cuts in) More fame.

Oliver

(mumbles) Like fame.

Chloe

This inn is so far off the beaten bath that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.

Lois

You mean ex-bachelor.

Clark

I let myself in.

Oliver

Terrific. You, uh, hop up to the helipad or just superspeed past security, Clark?

Clark

I used the elevator.

Oliver

How human of you.