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S1 E15

Shameless · Season 1, Episode 15

Ian, Carl and others in “Unfinished Business”

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, I have a better one. So Carl's, like, five or six years old, right?

Enough with these Carl stories.

[To Carl] Hey, let me get that.

No way. I want more.

Me too.

Wow, looks like you're the one going to prison. Mm, this is amazing.

I can't believe you've never had White Castle before.

I only eat carrots, and then I throw them up. [They laugh]

Come on, tell the story.

All right, so he's five or six years old--

Wait- wait- wait, is this the penis or the cat story?

Penis.

Shit.

And he thought pee was stored in his scrotum.

No.

But he called it his... [With Ian] Bubble gum.

Yeah. 'Cause it looks like bubble gum.

He took a screwdriver...

KBKelly both Jen

No!

Yeah. Yep.

Is that what that scar is?

Uh-huh.

Well, and why the hell'd you do that?

I thought I'd save some time, bypass the penis.

[Laughs] Creative.

See? I'm a genius. Yeah, you're a genius.

Did pee come out?

It smelled like pee.

Oh, God.

What a genius.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. I got stuck on the El for 20 minutes.

Nice. Hey, what's going on, Deb?

[Grabs White Castle bag] Ooh. Yes.

Was it two?

Was it?

Why is that chick from those makeup commercials having dinner with us? Oh, shit, that's you.

Mm.

Hey, she's also done 17 movies and 4 TV shows.

And nominated for three Golden Globes and a People's Choice Award.

LBLip both Ian

Whoa.

You're famous. You make a lot of money doing those commercials, huh?

Kelly: Hey.

What?

Kelly: Say the line.

No. Oh, you guys...

KLKelly and Lip

come on...

[Turns head dramatically] Face it. You're gorgeous.

Ian: Wow!

[Clapping hands] Whoo, whoo!

Kelly: Nice.

Ian: Okay, now the Carl cat story. Debs, you take this one.

Shit.

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