Carrie Bradshaw quotes from Sex and the City

Is he that bad in bed?

No, he's just... He's a guy. They can rebuild a jet engine, but when it comes to a woman... What's the big mystery? It's my clitoris, not the Sphinx!

Carrie

I think you just found the title for your autobiography.

You know, it's really not their fault. They don't come with a manual. If I had a son, I'd teach him all about the vagina.

Carrie

If you had a son, we'd call social services.

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Carrie

So how was the sex?

Amazing! It was like Liz was looking over us, giving us her blessing.

Carrie

A threesome in absentia.

I mean, my hat blew right into her headstone. She was clearly sending a message.

Yeah, "don't fuck my husband, you hat-loving bitch."

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Nobody told me it was BYO man.

Carrie

Well, what did you expect? It's a lesbian art show.

I know! But don't straight guys usually follow them around to see what they're going to do?

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Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls: Because they can. It's part of their biology. Instead of wasting all this energy condemning it, maybe it's time we all got in line with the reality of the situation.

Carrie

Well, that sounds very empowering, but you're forgetting one important detail.

God, I hope so.

Carrie

Women cheat.

Yeah, but it's completely different.

How?

'Cause we don't go around randomly attacking any man that we're attracted to.

Speak for yourself.

We're not driven by testosterone.

Carrie

Then what does drive us according to you?

Emotions.

You mean hormones.

No. I mean that little voice inside of me that says, "Mate for life! Mate for life!"

Sweetheart, you can't go listening to every fucking little voice that runs through your head. It'll drive you nuts.

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I just don't understand. How could you forget someone you slept with?

Carrie

Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.

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What's your age ceiling with men?

Carrie

50?

Factor in millions and millions of dollars.

Carrie

50?

Well, I just met the cutest older man.

Carrie

How old, 50? 60? Sweetie, is he on Medicare?

I'm guessing 72. A young 72.

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Carrie

[on the phone] I'm at Big's.

You're at Big's? You and I are having dinner tonight!

Carrie

Well, he got this veal.

You blew me off for a piece of politically incorrect meat?!

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Carrie

You've never seen an uncircumcised one?

I'm from Connecticut!

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All I'm saying is, uncut men are the best. They try harder. I should know. I've slept with five of them.

Out of how many?

Carrie

Infinity.

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Carrie

[about Big] Now I've laid down the gauntlet. He either has to say "I love you" back or I guess I'm gonna have to break up with him.

Well, how long are you gonna give him?

Carrie

Well, I didn't put an expiration date on the sentiment, but I figure it's got the shelf life of a dairy product. It's gonna start to curdle in about a week.

You know, it's so interesting. You can tell a man, "I hate you", you'll have the best sex of your life. But tell him, "I love you", you'll probably never see him again.

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When single men have a lot of money, it works to their advantage, but when a single woman has money, it's a problem you have to deal with. It's ridiculous! I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.

Bravo, honey! Bravo!

But you're talking about more than a difference in income. You're talking about a difference in background and education. This guy is working class.

Working class?!

Yeah.

Carrie

It's the millennium, sweetie. We don't say things like "working class" anymore.

But you're trying to pretend that we live in a classless society, and we don't.

Carrie

Okay, Marie Antoinette, we get the picture.

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I never leave underwear at a guy's place because I never see it again.

What happens to it?

Nothing. I just never go back.

Carrie

Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?

That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.

And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.

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I am so confused. Is he gay or is he straight?

Carrie

Well, it's not that simple anymore. The real question is, is he a straight gay man, or is he a gay straight man?

Carrie

[voiceover] The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual male spawned in Manhattan as the result of overexposure to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theater and antique furniture.

Oh, hopefully, he's a gay straight man, which means he's straight with a lot of great gay qualities. Whereas a straight gay guy is just a gay guy who plays sports and won't fuck you.

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Carrie

It's about the fact that I wasn't even a factor in his decision-making process.

Totally.

Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we." And their version of "we" is "me and my dick."