Trey McDougal quotes from Sex and the City

Charlotte

[describing a sex fantasy with Trey] I'm a fairy princess in a forest, and I'm riding on a unicorn. And suddenly I see you—a pirate in buckskins, a prince in disguise. And that's when you pull me off my unicorn. You tear away my gossamer petticoats, and you put your Schooner deep inside my Rebecca. Now you. Where are you?

Trey

I'm in hell. I'm sorry, Charlotte. I can't do this. I'm a respected surgeon.

Trey

She's expecting us. If we miss the orchid show, she'll be devastated.

Charlotte

Then I guess we'll just have to have sex at your mother's.

Trey

People having sex in Connecticut? There's a first time for everything.

Trey

[to the girls, about the cardboard baby he gave Charlotte earlier] See, they sell them in novelty stores, and other people buy them, and— and— and the clerk said that it was funny. You know what? Maybe you have to see it.

Charlotte

Don't you bring that thing in here!

Trey

It's silly.

Charlotte

Not to me it isn't! How would you feel if I gave you a cardboard cutout of a big, flaccid penis? It's not so funny now, is it?!