Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated · Season 1
Aww, this makes me think you don't like me. Wahh wahh! And by the way, building your little donut shop trap next to a fireworks store might not have been the best idea. See ya soon, Mystery Incorporated! (throws the baby bottle bomb in the fireworks store to explode. Crybaby Clown drives away)
Run!
Daphne!
Isn't coming!
Well, I think it's safe to say, if the town didn't hate us before. This should certainly do the trick.
(Fred feels disappointed)
Freddie? Are you okay?
No, Scoob, I'm not. My trap failed, and for the first time, the bad guy got away. And it's my fault.
We're all responsible, Fred. We're a team, remember?
That's just it, Shaggy. We're not a team. Not without Daphne. And now I know... she's never coming back.
(Sheriff Stone handcuffs Baba Yaga)
And now, let's see who Baba Yaga really is. (unmasks Baba Yaga)
Curator Vronsky?
Exactly. He was using Baba Yaga's house to smuggle stolen Fabergé eggs into the country.
That's right. I was going to sell them on the black market. Finally, I was to be a rich capitalist with all my loot. I had it planned perfectly. Before becoming a museum curator, I spent many years in Spetsnaz, Soviet Special Forces. This allowed me to make modifications on the house using what I could find on the ship. I even put a remote control in my walking stick to move the house. I needed to get assistant curator Anna Arkadyevna out of the way before she became suspicious of my plan. I tied her up and kept her prisoner in the house while I donned the Baba Yaga costume and used the voice modulator to frighten away the curious. But, when one of the eggs was damaged, I had to alter the plan. But you brats kept interrupting my repair of the legs. I could not leave any of my precious eggs behind. There were too many. I needed the house to carry them all. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you decadent bourgeoisie teenagers and your slobbering, democracy-loving dog!
I had my suspicions of Vronsky all along. That is why I came with him. Thank you for saving the Fabergé eggs, our national treasure.
And now let's see who Crybaby Clown really is. (unmasks the Crybaby Clown)
Baylor Hotner!
That's right-ner. Actor, humanitarian, guy with amazingly super awesome abs. I came here to Crystal Cove to research the part of a crazed clown for my upcoming blockbuster movie, "The Night the Clown Cried". It was gonna be my Oscar. Using my knowledge of Hollywood makeup and effects and a trick buggy I stole from the back lot, I honed my crazed clown performance to perfection. Then, I built my entourage: a therapist, a hairdresser, a plastic surgeon, and a publicist. Everything I needed to be a great actor. Of course, I put tracking chips in all of them because you have to know where your posse is at all times. I even had an innocent small-town girl that would make me look like the nicest guy. I had it all! And I would have been the world's greatest Hollywood thespian, too, if it hadn't have been for you small-town scene stealers.
(slaps Baylor) Small-town that, Baylor Hotner. These are my friends. Take him away, Sheriff.
(Sheriff Stone arrests Baylor)
Thanks, guys. You, uh, really saved me.
Like, you're one of us.
Um, you know, Daphne, you could come back to me... to the gang, I mean.
Really? I'd like that. Very much.
(hugs Daphne) Hooray! Daphne's back. Group hug. (Fred, Velma, and Shaggy hug Daphne) Scooby-Dooby-Doo! And Daphne, too. (laughs)
He was stealing this wheel of old cheese.
Now let's see who the Hodag really is.
(Shaggy opens the cage and Velma unmasks Hodag)
Roberto!
Where's my Nova?
Hold on. (unmasks Roberto's face)
A monkey?
(heard in the balcony holding Nova over the edge) That's right. My monkey. Nobody moves or the dog gets it.
Nova!
Mr. Fussbuster, please, don't hurt Nova. Why are you doing this?
It all started back when I was a sailor working the trade boats in Indonesia. I learned you could train a monkey to steal. So that's just what I did. I trained Roberto using bells and used him to build up my fortune. When I rang a bell, he would start taking valuable objects. But he became bell crazy, started stealing bells, too. It drove me insane, all of those bells! And he not only brought home the bells, but whatever were attached to them. You don't know how many cats and cows and hunchbacks he brought home with him! But it was all worth it, as we were just about to steal the 500-year-old cheese you have in your hand.
500-year-old cheese?
Yes. It was made right here in Crystal Cove by a master Spanish cheesemaker. It's priceless. And with its theft, I could have finally retired to the Netherlands, where they really enjoy cheese properly.
But why the Hodag?
Shepherd's security was unbreakable. I needed the key. Seemed the best way to get it. Now, toss the cheese up here and she won't get hurt. (Nova is whimpering)
(growling, grabs the cheese) Here, Fussbuster. Fetch!
(Scooby throws the cheese to Fussbuster, Fussbuster tried to steal it but falls down to grass, and Scooby saves Nova)
(Next scene in the police car with Fussbuster and Roberto ringing the bell)
(groaning) And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those bells. The bells! The bells! (crying)
Let's see who's really behind all this junk. (grabs the TV head of Junk)
I don't get it.
Wait for it. We discovered the strange paralysis of Eeko, Clio, and worker number one had been caused by a rare strand of brewers yeast. Used only in Bavaria. That allowed us to reverse the effect.
These guys have been frozen to recreate a picture by the famous Bavarian artist Albrecht von Cartofokauf. So we knew we were looking for someone German.
I... I still don't get it.
Here's why Randy Warsaw. The real culprit is (grabs the head out of Junk) Butch Furbanks.
Fine, you got me. But don't expect my introspective personality to register guilt.
His real name is Hans van Shanengruber.
Before Butch joined "Sunday Around Noonish" he released an album of classical accordion music. It reached number one in the Bravarian hit parade. But soon fizzled.
Using powerful electro magnets, and his expert knowledge of musical instruments, Butch was able to control your junk sculpture and make it attack you.
Like the only thing we don't know is why?
Alright, look I did it for art.
That can't be right, can it?
Okay, that's a lie. The truth is I hated what you made me in to. All I ever wanted to do was play polkas in a Bravarian Oompa band. A beautiful dream that I lived until I came to work for you, Randy Warsaw. You changed me. You transformed me. Molded me in to a dark band leader, playing and singing horrible intellectual music. You took everything from me. And I wanted to make you pay. Pay! And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling polka haters. (Sheriff takes Butch into custody) (to Scooby) Oh and your singing stinks, nobody understands a word you're saying.
That's outrageous!
Well, thank you, Mystery Incorporated. You've saved modern art from the clutches of the boudoir. There's only one this left to say: I find you all horribly, horribly boring. So, get out of here. Shoo, shoo. Go away. (leaves)
Uh, Mr. Warsaw, can I keep the wig?
It's okay, gang. Sometimes people just don't appreciate it when you save the day. That's just the price of our... art.
(on the Mystery Machine radio) Listen up, boppers. Because I've got a brand new radio show coming at you right now. Across the airwaves. (Next scene in K-Ghoul) It's all about the truth. Evil resides in Crystal Cove. (Next scene in Jones mansion, Brad and Judy hear her) So stay tuned and maybe, just maybe... (Next scene in Mystery Machine, the gang hears her) We'll all get through this thing alive.
Velma! Scooby! We heard explosions. Are you okay?
Oh! What have you done to our cemetery?
What we've done is capture the Graveyard Ghoul. And now, let's see who he really is. (unmasks the Graveyard Ghoul) Evallo.
Well, what do you know? It really was the most obvious suspect. (chuckles) Who would have guessed?
Evallo was stealing natural gas from the Crystal Cove gas company.
Yes, that is right. I did it. I, count Evallo von Meanskrieg, developed a perfectly evil plan und used my position as gravedigger to cover my activities. But the crowd from the Mayor's movie night meant someone might notice what I was up to. I had to scare them off! Thus, my genius evil plan of the Graveyard Ghoul was born. Unfortunately, the flame-broiling grill was incredibly dangerous so close to my gas lines. I had to stop it. Which led to my capture. Sadly, I, the evil count Evallo von Meanskrieg, would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for this Sheriff and his American-style barbecue.
(closes the police car door) You all saw that, right? I caught the right guy, and on purpose! (drives away)
(prepares grape juice) I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure you would.
Of course, Ricky. I'm happy you invited me.
To a future of unimaginable wealth.
To the treasure. For with it, we shall rule the world.
A meeting of this momentous importance deserves some mood music. (turns on the radio)
Remember, all you listeners out there, something bad is going down at Crystal Cove. And by down, I mean underneath. Watch out for any foul play, especially of the feathered kind.
(shuts down the radio) Ahh, Cassidy. If we are to continue, she will need to be silenced forever.
Agreed. Forever.
(Pericles and Ricky clink glasses)
How in the world did a ship get all the way up here?
Maybe this can tell us. It's the ship's manifest. The writing's in Español, but I aced honor's Spanish. I can translate. "I fear I may have doomed us all. After months of filling our hold... "
(In the flashback with narrating conquistador)
...with treasure, we were about to set sail when word was delivered of an even greater prize: a sarcophagus of the purest crystal, filled to the brim with black pearls of immense value. A king's ransom! The men and I were overtaken with a desire to find this great treasure. And after several months of searching, find it we did. What we didn't realize was that the Entity that dwelled inside that crystal sarcophagus had been searching for us as well. In our thirst for power and wealth, we had discovered a terrible evil. It preyed upon our fears, driving us to commit Horrible acts. Finally, in an act of desperation to stop what we had become, I set the ship ashore on the mission coast, in a cove we named after what we would soon bring there: Crystal Cove.
(Flashback interrupted)
Zoinks! Ha ha! Like, that means...
These are the conquistadors that founded our town!
The ones that disappeared!
(Flashback continues)
I used the arcanical Disco Planisférico, to map our location, and we buried the evil treasure deep, deep underground. Then, we broke the disk into 6 pieces and went our separate ways. I concealed my piece aboard the ship and artfully protected it by a large number of lethal mechanical devices. I brought the ship here, to the top of this mountain, to stay hidden forever.
(Flashback ends)
It's signed Fernando El Aguirre, captain of the "Santa Lucia" of Spain.
Jeepers! You know what this means? The fifth piece of the Planispheric Disk is right here on this ship!
Then let's find it and get out of here before that crazy chick shows up again! Hoo-hoo!
Yeah!
(sniffs) There's that smell again. Of course. (sees the broken disguise in the right leg) HOT DOG WATER. (The Dark Lilith runs away with the piece #5 of the Planispheric Disk) Marcie, wait!
(unmasks herself) Hello, Velma.
Why would you--wait. Of course. Mr. E. You're still working for him. But you couldn't outwit the captain's traps without Fred.
That's right. So humiliating to have to rely on a guy. I repurposed my old Manticore outfit and super helium technology to create the Dark Lilith disguise. Then, I lured Gary and Ethan here by falsely telling them professional soccer players worked their calf muscles on Mount Diabla. I knew Fred would talk you guys into investigating what happened to them. Then, Fred could spring the traps, and I could get the piece. (sighs) But you're a hard girl to fool, V. I'm glad you recognized me.
Me too. So, how's this gonna end?
(sadly gives the piece to Velma) Here. Friendship should always come first, and-- well, you're the only friend I've ever had.
What about Mr. E? He'll hunt you down and destroy you.
He'll have to catch me first. See you around, Velma Dinkley. (walks away)
Way to go, Velma! I thought Dark Lilith was going to end up with the fifth piece for sure.
Where'd the evil lady go?
No idea. Flew away, I guess.
Well, gang, with the 3 pieces we have, the two pieces Pericles stole, that means there's--
Just one more piece to go.
Yeah, and why do I get the feeling that even if we don't find number 6? It'll end up finding us.
(The gang drives away)
Nibiru. (laughs and slowly fades)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
