EEmma
That Shecky Martino, the one that does all those jokes about the commode? He's a particular thorn in Gordon's side.
You know, that thing he does with the rubber chicken is pretty funny, though.
S1 E4Magic Bus
Amanda, Are you having an affair? (she hits her head)
What?!
Leave me, he says.
They tell us to say that. Thank God you never listen to me.
Do you think maybe you could say something nice about my work? I mean, after all, I think I did contribute something to it.
Hmm. Okay, uh, your work was ... Not bad.
Not bad?
Yeah. Not bad.
Not bad.
Well, you think my legs are just okay, I think your work was just not bad.
That is so petty.
Care to change your opinion?
S1 E5The ACM Kid
Listen, I've got this real problem here and it's not exactly in my area. So, I thought I'd call you, as it's something that you probably know all about.
I can only assume this is you. Possibly because you're the only man I know who doesn't say hello, doesn't ask how I am.
How are you?
Yes, Amanda. Danger, excitement. Intrigue.
Oh, shut up.
Right. I've got a real problem here, I've got this kid that won't talk to me.
By kid, do you mean one of those girls you date?
You know, this reminds me of a place I lived in when I was in college. Mother saw it and she made me move.
Are you always this punchy in the morning?
Are you always this perky?
Well, you know, I guess I'm just what you'd call a morning person. I guess you're just not what you'd call a morning person. Uh, look, are you sure you're set up to take care of a child? I mean, you know, they need...
Attention, someone to talk to?
No, what they need is food, and you haven't got any.
Just what do you call that incredibly expensive Camembert?
Moldy.
How'd you guys do at the grocery store?
AAlexi
Good. The Fed here let me do all the shopping.
Six frozen pizzas and a pound of brownies. That all you got?
AAlexi
We must've left the beer in the car.
This is Lee Stetson. He is one of the top agents in the country. Now if you'll just untie us, he will rescue your parents and stop these people. Trust me.
AAlexi
If he's so hot, what's he doing tied up in a closet?
Perfectly good question
S1 E6Always Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
I could have married royalty. A prince proposed to me once.
Why didn't you accept?
His country was too small.
Be nice.
When am I anything but?
Well, I was just wondering ... shouldn't I know how to hit?
Excuse me?
Well, shouldn't I have certain skills, you know, like self-defense, maybe know a few codes...
Amanda, surely you realise that your value to us is that of a civilian. I don't need another agent.
Were you to become a known operative, your usefulness would be over.
Yeah, it's great you don't know anything. The enemy could torture you for weeks and not get a thing.
Oh, well, I appreciate that. But I don't think staying alive would compromise my usefulness too much.
I don't want the Princess to know you're one of us.
Gee, I'm one of us.
I know I'll regret saying that
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scarecrow and Mrs. King pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.