You Blue Dog Soda punks are in serious trouble!
Why?
Why?!
What's your problem?
Yeah, what's wrong with making a tasty soda that everybody loves?
Which we wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't banned Blue Dog Soda in the first place!
Has anybody seen the butt-scratcher?
What's your problem with Blue Dog?
My problem is that some people drink too much of it and that's not healthy.
So? Some people eat too many sandwiches; you gonna ban sandwiches?
Oh, and roller coasters! What if a kid decided to ride roller coasters all day long everyday? He'd flunk out of school!
You gonna ban roller coasters?
And what about sleeping? I mean, if a person sleeps way too long, they're gonna wake up in a pile of their own poop.
You gonna ban sleeping?
And pooping?
And what about hugs?
Right!
If you hug someone real tight for too long, you could kill 'em.
That is true.
So, maybe you should ban hugging.
Why don't you just ban everything?
Yeah! Because too much of anything could be bad for you, but it's not fair to punish everybody.
Just 'cause some people can't control themselves.
Don't you think people oughta be free to choose?
This is America.
The 7th-smartest country in the world.
And we don't need people like you telling everybody what we can and can't do.
[the audience cheers. The State Regulator sits down, crying]
Dad, what's wrong?
They're right! I'm so stupid!
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