What are you doing?
I'm giving you a wuss hat!
S1The Clinic
Um, Ug...Donkeylips just gave half the peace sign to that guy on the motorcycle back there.
Which half?
[police siren is heard]
We've already gone two hundred miles, Z.Z. are you holding the map right?
ZZZ.Z.
Oh...yeah...
Hey cool, There's a machine that sells balloons in here!
Let me see.
I can't.
Why?
Because I dropped the key in the toilet.
Drop and give me 20.
But I can only do 8.
Make it...50!
S1Treasure of Sara Madre
You guys fell for an amazing, blazing, flying, double back burn.
ZZZ.Z.
Losing a friend over a little bit of treasure just isn't worth it to me. I found the treasure, it’s mine, It’s all mine! Look, an old park ranger’s badge...
Badges? we don’t need no stinkin’ badges...
There is a very deep hole in the middle of my infield. Eventually, the hole will fill up with water and the scum will float to the top! Then, Bobby Budnick, you will be mine!
I’ve struck gold, I’ve struck silver, I’ve struck...a water main.
A file, huh? I’ll file him under ‘D’ for ‘Dead Donkey’.
DDina
Come on, Budnick, you’re our friend, and you can’t put money over friendship. Oh, listen to me.
Smooth move, Ex-Lax, I’m outta here!
S2Telly and the Tennis Match
My pepper's moving.
[Ug looks around to see that the black pepper is actually ants from Sponge's ant farm, then begins vomiting offscreen]
Genocide. He ate an entire city, didn't he realize?
Man, I never saw Ug power puke like that. Down at the fishing dock, on Dr. Kahn's sofa, the chapel, everywhere.
Everyone gone in just one bite: the mayor, the police department...
You know, I wonder if they'll be able to hose down the tennis court for tomorrow's match.
S2The Wrath of Kahn, Jr.
[dejected] Oh gosh. I'm through. That's it. I might as well turn in my whistle for good. Thanks a lot, guys, for ruining my whole camp career.
KDr. Kahn
[through intercom] This is Dr. Kahn. Would Kevin Lee report to my office now?
[Ug drops the sports equipment in defeated shock]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Salute Your Shorts pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.