Royal Rumble Season 1 quotes

My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G and a bona fide stud, and you can't teach that! And this right here?! This is Big Cass, and he's...

[continuing] ...seven foot tall, and you can't teach that!

And he is the #1 entry in the Royal Rumble Match, and you can't teach that! Bada boom, realest guys in the room! How you doin'!

If it were up to me, Enzo would be searching for Pee Wee Herman's bike in the basement of the Alamo right now.

[singing with crowd] The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart...

..of Texas!

And there ain't no two stars shining brighter tonight than your boys Enzo and Big Cass! San Antonio, how you doin'!

King, I've had root canals I've enjoyed more than this.

Cass, I've got a question for you.

What's that, Zo?

Pretty much common knowledge, I think. What is it that they say about Texas?

Hmm, I think it goes something like this: everything is bigger in Texas!

You're darn skippy, Cass! Because tonight is the biggest Royal Rumble Match of all time, and it has some of the biggest names in the history of the Royal Rumble!

What kinda names we talking here, Zo?

[crowd shouts "how you doin'" after each name] Brock Lesnar, Braun Strowman, the Big Show, Goldberg, the Wyatt Family, the Undertaker. But I'll tell you what. None of that matters, 'cause Big Cass is entering this ring #1 like it's 1995 and he is HBK in his prime!

It doesn't matter if you're #2 or #30, 'cause the fact of the matter is this. When the dust settles, I will be the LAST man standing in that ring right there! Because I am winning the Royal Rumble Match, and I am going on to main-event WrestleMania.

Sounds pretty confident. Would that be your worst nightmare, Corey?

Yes.

And as for the 29 other men in this match, I will prove that there's only [crowd joins in] ONE WORD to describe you, and I'm gonna spell it out for ya! S-A-W-F-T!

SAWFT!

Every time I see Braun Strowman, I wonder where he parked his blue ox.

Wait a minute.

Well, I guess the WWE Universe has spoken. James Ellsworth has been all over social media lobbying for a spot in this match-up. And there's, I guess, his new girlfriend, Corey? Carmella?

Carmella's the best possible thing that could've happened to Ellsworth. Ellsworth's career has skyrocketed since these two came together.

This guy's a total waste of skin. How on Earth did he get a place in the Royal Rumble?

King, James Ellsworth has taken AJ Styles to the limit on multiple occasions.

You just like him because you two obviously share the same barber.

Zayn with a big Helluva Kick!

Caught him right in the jaw.

And now Corbin... [Baron Corbin clotheslines Braun Strowman out of the ring, eliminating him] ELIMINATES STROWMAN! CORBIN ELIMINATES STROWMAN! CORBIN ELIMINATES STROWMAN!

Michael Cole, you've been asking me for months: how do you stop Braun Strowman? You do it with a Lone Wolf!

#27, the luckiest number in the field. Four winners over the years from this spot. Who has it?

Wait a minute, King.

What?

I think I know what this means.

Yeah, Corey, you could get your wish.

Oh, my God, this may be the greatest moment of my life. [Entry #27, Enzo Amore, enters] This idiot, Enzo Amore, is gonna have to go face-to-face with the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar.

This poor schmuck, just turn around and go back to the locker room.

Keep running, Enzo. Keep running straight ahead into the storm. I am begging you, Enzo.

Lesnar with a big smirk on his face.

Put your shirt back on and go back home, Enzo.

Or just use it as a blindfold because you're about to be in front of a firing squad.

Lesnar turned Enzo inside-out.

Oh. He's history already. That didn't take long.

Enzo eliminated by Brock Lesnar.

We are down to Reigns and Orton!

Reigns is gonna do it!

Will Roman Reigns win the Rumble match for the second time in three years?

I knew it all along. Roman Reigns is gonna...

RKO! RKO by Randy Orton! [As Reigns gets to his feet, Orton clotheslines him out of the ring, winning the Rumble] Randy Orton wins the Rumble! Randy Orton's going to WrestleMania!

I was right!

Here is your winner: Randy Orton!

The Viper strikes WrestleMania paydirt!

This is a Randy Orton rebirth! Amazing!

Randy Orton becomes the seventh man to win two or more Rumbles. Randy Orton's won his second Rumble in eight years.

[ on the #6 entry, Elias] Well, you don't have to sing a lullaby; everybody's already asleep out here.

[the #6 entry] Hello, I am Elias.

[as Elias strums his way to the ring] Elias's lullabies are the #1 cause of insomnia in the world.

Well, he has a reason to believe, as he heads his way to the ring after everybody's been taken out. First Rumble match for Elias, and I believe the first time anyone's ever played guitar on his way to the ring in the Royal Rumble.

I've got one question for everyone here tonight: [joined by crowd] Who wants to walk with Elias?!

All of Philly does.

Now, I am here to let you all know that time is just an illusion. [Enters the ring] And the only thing that's real is the light that shines within me. Now, that countdown clock will not start until I give you all the performance of the year.

Oh, no.

The clock has stopped?

I certainly hope not.

So right now, I need you all to silence your cell phones, hold your applause, and shut your mouths.

What?! He can't say that in Philadelphia.

It's Elias's night, it's Elias's night

[as the crowd counts down from ten] Uh-oh. The clock didn't stop, Elias.

Corey, are you glad he got rid of the guitar.

I've never been happier.

[on the #11 entry, Sheamus] Representing The Bar, they have a Tag Team Championship opportunity later tonight, but it's the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus. Guys, back in 2012, Sheamus won the Royal Rumble Match.

Oh, not again, Heath.

There, you got in the ring, Heath. He's in the ring. [The very moment Sheamus enters and stands upright, Heath clotheslines him out of the ring, eliminating him] AAHHH!

Oh, no!

Oh, my God! Slater eliminated Sheamus on Sheamus's birthday! Tonight is Sheamus's birthday, and he was eliminated by Slater!

Sheamus's birthday's on Rusev Day?!

That's the worst present ever. I can't believe it.

Roman Reigns trying to power Shinsuke over the top. [Nakamura escapes Reigns's grasp and bounces off the ropes, missing a clothesline in the process] Reigns...

[Nakamura slides and hits a Kinshasa on Reigns] Oh, no!

OH MY GOD!

Shinsuke connects, right in the face!

Oh, no! No, Roman!

And now Shinsuke Nakamura...

Oh wait, he got him!

No no no no no no, wait! ACK!

[Nakamura throws Reigns out, winning the Rumble] ...ELIMINATES ROMAN REIGNS! SHINSUKE NAKAMURA IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

I called it! I called it!

Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Shinsuke Nakamura!

Guys, Shinsuke Nakamura lasted almost 45 minutes in this match to pick up the victory in his Royal Rumble match debut tonight!

As much as Nakamura has accomplished in his storied career around the world, there is nobody that gets in this industry that doesn't dream of doing it at WrestleMania. Congratulations to the King of Strong Style!

2 years ago to the month, Shinsuke Nakamura signed his WWE contract, and now Shinsuke Nakamura is headed to WrestleMania!

So, Shinsuke, you've now won the right to face the champion of your choosing. So have you made a decision?

A...J...STYLES!!!

YES!

Corey, it is gonna happen. The match that the WWE Universe has wanted is gonna happen.

I could not be more excited for WrestleMania! Get me to New Orleans already! Nakamura and Styles for the WWE Championship!

The dream match, ladies and gentlemen, is going to come true.

44 minutes, 40 seconds: the exact time that Shinsuke Nakamura lasted in the Royal Rumble. And yes indeed, Shin, you're going to WrestleMania.

Boy, this has essentially become a singles match at this point. [Nikki Bella puts Asuka on her shoulders and prepares to throw her out] There's only one task left, and that's to throw your opponent over the top rope, which Nikki's about to do.

Asuka may be eliminated!

There she goes! There she goes!

[Bella takes Asuka over the top rope, but Asuka holds the top rope for dear life] Nikki Bella, with Asuka hanging on to the top rope, out to the apron!

She's still hanging on!

Asuka still barely in this match.

[Asuka stands up. Bella strikes Asuka, but Asuka continues to hold the ropes] OOH!

Nikki Bella again with a strong shot to the face, but Asuka lands on the apron!

I don't know how Asuka's hanging on, but she sure is. At least for now!

Disbelief on the face of Nikki.

[Bella charges at Asuka] Nikki Bella looking to use all of her momentum...

Here comes Nikki!

[Bella runs into Asuka's boot] ...Asuka caught her with a kick!

[Asuka uses her foot to grab Bella by the neck, and then attempts to take Bella over the top rope] Uh-oh. Uh-oh!

And look at Asuka!

What is...

...What?

Asuka trying to eliminate Nikki in one of the most unique ways we've ever seen!

Oh my gosh! [Bella goes over the top rope, but falls to the apron] OH!

Nikki Bella to the apron! [Asuka loses her grip on the top rope and hits the apron] Asuka to the apron!

OH! Asuka almost fell!

Both women teetering on the side of the ring, just feet away from defeat.

[Bella gets up, and Asuka struggles to do the same] High stakes, high pressure! Asuka and Nikki Bella both on the apron. [Bella roundhouses Asuka, who falls back onto the apron] Both of them went over the top rope! Asuka floored! [Asuka kicks Bella's legs out from under her, sending her careening to the floor and winning the Rumble] ASUKA ELIMINATES NIKKI BELLA!

OH! ASUKA DID IT! [applauds Asuka]

ASUKA'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Unbelievable!

[As he says this, the camera pans toward Raw Women's Champion Alexa Bliss and SmackDown Women's Champion Charlotte Flair, both sitting across from each other near the announcer's table] I knew it! I called it from the start! There was never any doubt! No one was ready for Asuka!

Asuka is a history-maker! Asuka is going to WrestleMania!

Smart strategy by Banks, staying in close quarters with Ronda. I was questioning, I didn't know if that would be a great decision. Sasha's done it very, very well up to this point.

Wow, an accolade from Graves! I appreciate that.

I've never questioned Sasha Banks's talent or her abilities; I question her ability as a human being.

Tonight, y'all will witness history. My name is Lacey Evans, and I am the one and only true lady of WWE. And I am here to clean up this entire women's division.

Lacey Evans just soaking it in.

[as the music sounds for entry #2: Natalya] You don't get these moments very often, Tom, but now, Beth, your girl!

I hope Lacey enjoyed it while she had it.

[on Corey as entry #3, Mandy Rose, enters] Look at the smile.

I'm so glad you're sitting next to him, Beth, and not me.

We are in the desert, but this is no oasis, it is real life! It is God's greatest creation, and the Royal Rumble Match just got downright amazing!

Do you ever talk to Mandy Rose in person, or do you just talk about her from here?

Listen, I get a little nervous, I sweat a lot, my tongue feels...swollen, I don't know.

Listen update, everybody: Mandy Rose is still in the ring.

Nobody asked, Graves, but thanks.