JJim
[after Bradshaw attacks Val Venis, saving the Rock from elimination] Bradshaw should've helped Val, in my estimation.
Nah, nobody wants to help Val or any member of the Right to Censor.
JJim
Yeah, you make a good point.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
JJim
How much left can these two men have in their bodies? Austin's got the steel chair!
Look at Kane! He's a monster! He's already up!
JJim
My God, Kane is up! Oh God, Kane is up!
Austin, you're not a monster!
JJim
[Austin strikes Kane in the head with the steel chair] What a shot!
ACK! He didn't even knock him off his feet.
JJim
[Austin strikes Kane again] GOD ALMIGHTY!
WHOA!
JJim
[Austin strikes Kane again] A shot to the skull! Austin's going to dump him!
[Austin bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Kane out, winning the Rumble]
NO! OH!
JJim
KANE IS OUT! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
Here is your winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
[over announcement] I knew he could do it!
JJim
STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
I knew the Rattlesnake could win this thing! Unbelievable!
JJim
THE BATTERED AND BLOODY RATTLESNAKE HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY BACK - HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL ITSELF TO GO TO WRESTLEMANIA!
JRJim Ross
Fans chanting, "we want Head," at Al Snow. Al Snow and his former mannequin head.
I'll get in on that chant, but not at Al Snow.
JJim
Would you behave?
JJim
[The Undertaker stands alone in the ring, having thrown out four men] You don't need RE/MAX or Century 21 to tell you whose yard this belongs to, and I don't think it's for sale.
You know what, JR? There's only one thing I wouldn't wanna be.
JJim
What's that, King?
Next.
Matt Hardy could certainly use some help out here, couldn't he?
JJim
Yeah, he ain't likely to get it. It's every man for himself. [Time expires. Entry #10 is Jeff Hardy] But maybe so, King!
What?!
JJim
Here comes Jeff Hardy!
Now wait a minute.
JJim
Undertaker about to suplex Matt to the outside, Jeff Hardy blocked that, and now both the Hardys...
I got a question—who picked these numbers?
JJim
They were drawn randomly. The numbers are drawn randomly [Lita jumps into the ring and joins the Undertaker beatdown] The Hardys and Lita getting some retribution for their near-career-ending injuries!
[as Lita is pulled out] They let her out there and she doesn't have a number?
JJim
[off the Hardys embrace] Look at the reunion of the Hardys! They're back on the same page! Lita's on the same page!
No, Lita's off the page!
JJim
And Maven- [he dropkicks the Undertaker, who is being distracted by the Hardy Boyz who he has just eliminated, in the back. The momentum carries the Undertaker over the top rope and eliminates him] OH MY GOD! MY GOD! MAVEN FROM TOUGH ENOUGH JUST ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!!!
WHAT?! WHAT?!
JJim
MY GOD, MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Now that is... that is the biggest shocker I've ever seen at the Royal Rumble!
WHAT?!
JJim
You heard me right!
Let me do it again. WHAT?!
JJim
Maven just eliminated the Undertaker, and Maven cannot believe it!
Maven...
JJim
Not to say what the Undertaker must be thinking right now.
Jerry [as the Undertaker re-enters the ring and approaches Maven]: ...maybe you don't wanna believe it, because, you may have made the biggest mistake of your young life!
JJim
[after an eliminated Austin nails Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, and Triple H with a chair] Austin may have been eliminated, King, but he's made his mark indelibly on the head of his three adversaries!
He is the meanest, maddest snake you'll ever lay eyes on! You don't trust anybody, especially that snake right there!
JJim
The Bionic Redneck is pissed, you can count on that!
JJim
Angle in trouble! Angle in trouble!
No, Kurt! NO! [Triple H clotheslines Angle out of the ring, winning the Rumble]
JJim
IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE GAME! THE GAME!
Your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Triple H!
JJim
He went through eight months of hell just to make it back, but many said he'd never make it! And now Triple H is going to WrestleMania! Triple H is going to meet the Undisputed WWF Champion at WrestleMania!
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Team Angle has been ejected from this contest!
TTazz
Wait a minute, that ain't...if that's true, that ain't cool, that ain't right!
What do you mean, it's not right?
TTazz
[stammering] Well, I...maybe it is right. I don't know, I thought Team Angle was out here to learn and...observe from Kurt Angle.
Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit will be a classic match-up. There is no need for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to be involved. I believe Kurt Angle, Tazz, deep down inside realizes that he cannot beat Chris Benoit. He brought Benjamin and Haas in here as an insurance policy—that insurance policy has been sent to the back.
[after Chris Jericho nails Shawn Michaels with a chair] Jericho admitted he always admired and emulated Shawn Michaels, but you'd never know it from that vile chair shot!
JRJim Ross
I don't know if Jericho respects anybody or anything!
Poor HBK caught off guard right from the get-go with the help, of course, from Christian and that phony entrance there; Jericho shows up from behind, low blow... [Jericho tosses Michaels onto the floor, eliminating him] ...and ousts Shawn Michaels!
JJim
Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho! Shawn Michaels, battered and bloody, a low blow, a chair shot, the distraction, all combined to eliminate Shawn Michaels. I tell you what, I would not have called that in a million years.
JCJohn Cena
Yo, Yo, Yo!!! Thuganomics Style!
Naw, naw, Put down your tea potties, get away from your John Hancocks
I'm rockin this Thuganomics style
Yo, besides open mics, one thing that gets me boiled
Is an old school 30-man battle royal
I'm-a win this, I'm-a make my impression
Show Vinnie Mac that I got ruthless aggression
The odds were even until you chose me
Now it's 29 dudes and one ruthless MC
Yo, it doesn't matter, kid, 'cause I'll rip your nose off
I could batter you naked with no clothes on
Kid, what you talkin' 'bout. Three reasons I'm-a win this
Reason #1—I cut you up like cucumbers
Reason #2 that you care to protest
I'll be chokin' you like Sprewell be chokin' coaches
Reason #3's hard for me to explain to ya
But I'm-a win tonight and go on to WrestleMania
The Royal Rumble's just another test I got to pass
Y'all dudes are like a kid with one leg—you half-assed
Yo, what you talkin' 'bout, kid. You can't touch this
Throw the double clutches if you're down with untouches
Yo it's my year, I suggest you take the year off.
I'm sick like Tyson was when he bit Holyfield's ear off.
It doesn't matter, kid. Yo, you should stop defeat me
My style's like a swollen penis, you can't beat me.
Oh, do you like the rap, JR?
JJim
Ninety seconds of...what the hell'd he say? Word to your mother.
JJim
Cena's an amazing young athletic prospect on SmackDown!. He's a future main event player, and you're in the main event at WrestleMania if you can win the Royal Rumble match. Cena's got his whole career ahead of him—a great young prospect, but he rapped for damn near ninety seconds.
So what's wrong with that? He's still in the Royal Rumble.
[Undertaker is staring back at an already-eliminated Batista, who he just hit with a steel chair]
JJim
And Brock Lesnar...
HEY!
JJim
LESNAR! [Lesnar throws out Undertaker, winning the Rumble] And OH YES! BROCK LESNAR'S WON THE RUMBLE! BROCK LESNAR HAS ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!
Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble match, Brock Lesnar!
Look at the Undertaker. Yeah, he got you. He got you, Undertaker.
JJim
Brock Lesnar is now in the main event at WrestleMania! The Road to WrestleMania has begun here at the Royal Rumble!
[Undertaker reenters the ring after Brock Lesnar's win] Wait a minute. What's gonna happen here?
JJim
This could be another explosion.
No, I think the Undertaker's saying...that's twice you got me. But next time you got a title, he wants a shot.
JJim
I think that's exactly what the Undertaker said: if you become the Champion again, give me my opportunity. And Brock Lesnar will give the Undertaker that opportunity.
Undertaker had delivered that chair shot on Batista, but he took his mind off Brock Lesnar, just for a split second.
JJim
This is gonna kill Paul Heyman.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Royal Rumble pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.