Robot Chicken quotes

Morning Apu! One order of Freedom Fries, please.

Oh, for the love of my heathen God! They're called french fries, you fat, stupid American!

Department Of Homeland Security, don't move!

But...

Happy birthday, America!

Mmm, I hope Apu has learned his lesson.

I am so sorry I ever dared question the wisdom and strength of the United States of America.

Damn straight! Yee-haw!

Uh-oh! J.Lo's new bow is a no-go on the phone-o. But take it from P.O., her new line of Day-Glo Faygo will make fans say "HO!" And now we enter day three of our Kirsten Dunst headache watch. Kiki's representatives insist the megastar's just fine, but eyewitness accounts say otherwise.

I saw Kirsten Dunst in a duty-free store, uh, buying Tylenol. A LOT of it.

Even medical experts agree.

Well, a headache can be indicative of a failed movie deal, or possibly a pregnancy.

Gahahahaaaa! Sorry little girl, but Queen Beryl needs your life force to take over the planet earth! Gahahahaaaa!

Usagi, change into Sailor Moon quickly!

Right! Moon Prism Power, Make Up! [sighs]

In the name of the moon, I will punish...Oh my god!!!

Hahahaaaa!!! HMMMM! [whispers] What? What is it? OH MAN!! [grabs a garbage can lid and covers his penis] AUGH UH! I-I-I-I don't know why that happened!

Well...Geez!

I'm so sorry! That is so disrespectful of me! You are pretty hot though!

Should...should we...still fight, because I don't really want to anymore!

A-A-AWW! You know what, the moment's definitely passed!

Alright! S-See you next time man!

Nah! Sure! Okay! Um-Um-Another time!

Queen Beryl, I have failed to bring her Sailor Moon's life force!

You Fool! Your utter incompetence is dwarfed only by your sheer stupidity! EWW!!!

AUGH UH I-I'm sorry your majesty it's just...I kinda like it when you yell at me! I-It's Hot!! [gets zapped directly on his penis & falls down]

Soon I will have your life force, Sailor Moon, and my plan to rule the earth will come to fruition! [notices her erection] Anime sure is weird!

I ain't flyin', Hannibal! No way, no how!

That sounds perfectly reasonable B.A., now calm down and have some nice milk.

[drinks glass of milk] Mmm, milk, Good for the bones, good for the kids. I pity the fool who ain't got no calcium in his diet!

Murdock, we drugged the milk! You didn't have to hit him over the head!

Hey, you know years of drugged milk can lead to severe side effects like Severe lactose intolerance.

Damn it, the windows won't roll down!

This is gonna be a long flight...

Gosh, Freddy, are we really going to go all the way?

Fred

If one more person says something about my ascot, I'll-damn, it's fashionable!

Fred

I suggest we split up. Shaggy and Scooby, you check the campground. Velma, you check the woods. Daphne and I will check out the bunkhouse and have some of that nice mating until you get back.

Mate? You? With her? But with that dickey, you couldn't even bag an old bag like me! [laughs]

Fred

[slaps her] It's an ascot, you old whore! An ascot!

[punches Fred] Well, your "ascot" laid out by this old whore, dickey.

Man, I am one sad dog-food-eating hippie.

The virgin always lives the longest in these horror movies. Gosh, my life sucks!

You think your life sucks? One of my apartment tenants might be a flaming homo! [audience laughs] And that ain't all-somebody killed me! [falls down dead with a knife in his back]

Now let's see who you really are. [unmaskes Jason] Old Man Phillips?! But why?

Spanish doubloons in that lake! Thousands as far as the eye can see! It would have been all mine, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

A-a bunch of coins?! My friends are all dead! They're dead, and I'm still a virgin! A virgin!!

Y'know...we can fix that.

Ooh! Stix cereal! I gotta have some!

Silly rabbit, Stix are for kids!

Just give me a little!

He touched me inappropriately!

Couldn't lay off the sugar right?

[crying] But I can't help myself. My mother ate sugar when she was pregnant with me!

You wanna control the sugar? Stop using and start selling. Here, hook this guy up when you're out.

Rabbit, you're out.

Really? But its only been an hour!

You in Alabama foo', an hour's all you get for touchin' a child

Selling's a dangerous business rabbit! Had to kill the Fruit Brute, Yummy Mummy, even the Cinnamonkey!

I can handle it...with stuff!

Well, just follow my snout. It's never in doubt.

[whispers to Stix] A snout that big, it should know more than Einstein. Heh! Heh!

KILL THAT MOTHER[bleep]!

[referring to the cocaine] Wow! Do you have any idea how rich am I going to be selling this cocaine...SUGAR! [realized and telling the audience] I meant to say 'SUGAR'! Okay! [long pause] There!

I tell ya, the bleeding boys were followin' me around, and one little brasser says, "We're after your charms." And so I said, "Forget about me blue diamonds, and worry about me blue balls, ya whore!" Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ha, ha, ha. Oh, yeah. I never have any idea what you're saying.

[whispering in Rabbit's ear] Bad news, boss: the Rice Boys are talking to the cops.

[standing up with his censored tube out] Men are always talking!

Okay, okay, I'll crack!

I'll crinkle!

I'll plop!

The Stix Rabbit made us sell the stuff!

Uh...we only brought you in 'cuz someone turned in your wallet.

Heh...Must-Must've lost it.

Use the hollow-point bullets. They're G-r-r-r-roovy!

Their bones will stay crunchy even when it's soaked in blood! Ha ha!

Don´t Shoot! I give up!

He is giving up! Shoot him!

[sees a Box of Stix Cereal] Yes! Finally!

[appears] Silly rabbit, Stix are for kids!

Noooooooooo!

[to three guys in lava pool] That'll teach you to vote for Nader! [all of the sudden, hell freezes over] What the hell?!

[in a singsong voice] I got laid! I got laid! I got laid!

What can I say? Nerds are hot.

[still singing] Gettin' on a message board, gonna tell the internet! Laid! Laid! Laid! L-a-y-e-d! Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid! [hangs from the ceiling] Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid!

Mmm, hot.

You know, movie producer Dean Devlin, I always felt bad about screwing millions of moviegoers out of their hard-earned money with that steaming pile of crap we made called Godzilla.

I know, Roland Emmerich. We should totally remake it.

A remake of a remake?

Brilliant! [high-five]

The eggs, they're hatching! Run! Run! [they came out of the eggs and chase him down] Aah! [knocks down the gumball machine and released the gumballs which made the mini Godzillas slip and fall down] Whew. [gasps]

[angry] We gave you jerks $150 million dollars to remake Godzilla, and you gave us a steaming pile of crap! Again!

[look at each other, and jump while giving each other high-fives] Yes!

[jump on a pogo stick near a cliff] Ooh! Yeah! It’s fun! Yeah! [falls off a cliff and screams & comes back up and he can fly] I can fly!