Robin Hood · Season 1
You are surely a spy and this is trap...of sorts.
I beg to differ, My Lord. I am just Eve, your servant here, and I'll do my best to please you. This is a lovely place and it's warm here. Especially at night.
Yes, we'll see. I mean, I must say this is very pleasant...as traps go.
I'm burning this!
Will, no!
[Grabs the ledger from Will's hand.] Steady.
This is not science. This is murder.
Think of this as progress. Other scientists could do much better things with Greek fire!
Yeah! You could blow up the whole castle with that stuff!
Hood got there first. The ledger's gone.
[looking over a chessboard] Didn't you tell me that you'd hidden the barrels of black powder?
... Yes, I did.
[moves the white rook across the chessboard] Who else did you tell?
No one.
So how did he find it before you? [silence] Were you followed, Gisborne?
No.
[The Sheriff nods - then suddenly picks up the white king and hurls it at Gisborne]
YOU FOOL!!! WE'VE BEEN SET UP!!! Now you dispatch every man you can to the caves, bring me Eve and fetch me my horse!
[After Robin destroys the black powder hidden in the cave]
Life is a cruel mistress, Gisborne. [pause] Clean up your mess.
It's good to have you back, Much.
It's good to have you back, my Lord Much.
That is gonna get really annoying.
That is gonna get really annoying, my Lord Much.
[Robin grunts in frustration but in a laughing way]
I know it's annoying but I like it.
Well... [looks at Will, who cheekily smiles] seeing as you like lording it up...to Lord Much!
[Little John picks Much up, Robin laughs, Will and Allan help John pick him up]
To Lord Much!
All hail Lord Much! All hail Lord Much!
[The gang smile and Djaq takes the ledger from the fire, Robin notices and smiles]
[Robin notices that Harold fights like a Crusader]
SOLDIER! Break! Battle!
[Harold gets onto Robin's horse and he gallops away from Locklsey back to the forest]
Much, you need to look after him.
Ho-ho, no. Master. Master, please. I mean, look at him. Surely.
Well, you looked after me all these years.
Yeah, but... he's a menace.
Yes! You know, I think that's the first time we've actually agreed on something.
I call it the Much touch.
[Much hands Harold a shish kebab on a broken arrow]
Learnt that in Cyprus. There, they, uh, called it-
Shish kebabi.
[Pause]
Then you'll know how delicious they are.
[Much hands Harold the knife who begins cutting vegetables]
Are you sure it's a good idea to give him the knife?
He does have a name. He's called, uh... He's called Harold.
[Marian is petting her horse by her stables; Robin enters.]
Don't tell me the Nightwatchman's been dipping into the profits?
Some men find pleasure in giving women gifts.
This is a lot of gift. And tell me, how were you planning on reciprocating?
Maybe you'd find out if you gave me a gift. As it is you only come out of the woodwork to ask for favors, like now. So?
[to Harold] You tried to kill Djaq. Because she is a Saracen. Which, if I may say, is odd considering five minutes ago, you were gonna burn down a Christian church. I mean, come on, make your mind up.
Do you know when it's gonna happen, these turns?
Anything can start it. I'm watching a child fishing in a stream. And suddenly, I'm looking in the water...
The water's full of bodies. Drowned. Left to rot.
So you know.
Where were you?
Nicea. Tripoli. Pelagonia.
We were at Acre.
You must get the dreams.
Of course. It's our punishment.
[Robin caught a Saracen.]
This is prince Mhalec Al Ajubi Ibm Chati!
[Robin doesn't recognise the name]
Nephew of Saladin! I served under him.
The Saladin?
Oops!
That's a gift?
It was. A peace offering.
Allan Peace? Let's stick needles in his head, see how he likes it!
And this is what happens when cousins marry.
They're the ones that did this to you.
[Harold nods]
Does anyone here know what these two are talking about?
[Harold breaks free from his bonds and sits on a rock]
That's what we're talking about.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Robin Hood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
