Djaq quotes from Robin Hood

Will

Robin says we have to keep...

Djaq

You spy on me!

Will

No...Robin said...we have to...

Much

[gasps] A sign! Which means I have to fast...

Much

Except God wants me to eat!

Much

Quite a lot!

Robin Hood

[laughs] Djaq. Come and join us.

Djaq

For good?

Robin

Well I was thinking just for dinner, but...

Djaq

I was thinking for good. Or maybe I should have let your big friend here die, huh? Maybe then there would be a vacancy.

Will

It wouldn't be safe for you to join us.

Robin

For him or us?

Will

For her.

Robin

I assumed as much. What's your name? Your real name?

Djaq

Safiya.

Robin

Safiya...

Djaq

But I prefer you to call me Djaq.

Robin

Djaq. Your expertise did help saving Little John's life, for which we are eternally indebted. Does anyone have a problem with a woman joining the gang?

Much

Can you...?

Djaq

I'm a rubbish cook.

Robin

Looks like dinner's on us.

Much

Well, if that was Djaq then...should I eat?

Robin

Oi! Stop! Megan, what are you doing?

We're going to give these a good horse whipping.

Robin

Why?

He stole this. (shows Robin a necklace) My mother gave it to me on my wedding day. It's the only thing of value I own.

Tom

You touch us and you'll be in big trouble. We are Robin Hood's men!

Allan

Let's see you wear a dress.

Djaq

I will if you will.

Tom

Robin Hood could swing out these trees any time and bash your brains out!

Djaq

Or...are you afraid of looking too pretty?

Allan

I know that voice.

Much

Oh, surely Robin Hood couldn't take on all of us.

Tom

Robin wouldn't be scared of you. You're girls compared to him and his men!

Allan

Tom?

Tom

Allan.

Much

Do you know him?

Allan

He's my brother.

Allan

My purse, my sword, my horse.

Tom

I can explain. My nose! What kind of thing is that to do to a brother? Is it broken?

Allan

I say, whip him!

Tom

If you touch me again Robin will string you up on the tallest oak in Sherwood Forest!

Allan

This is Robin Hood, you idiot!

Djaq

[To a man] You have come for the belongings of the hanged man. Tom A Dale. You are his cousin. Bring them here quickly.

Will

Robin is looking for you.

Will

I'm sorry.

Djaq

Give us a moment.

Djaq

I had a brother. A twin. He was killed in your Crusades. I became him. His name was Djaq. He still...lives here. Inside me. Like your brother lives inside you.

Allan

That's what I worry about.

Djaq

Don't you want to look?

Allan

At what? A bunch of rags...not much to show for a life.

Will

Are you alright?

Djaq

Are you alright?

I thought we were saving you!

Djaq

Now I'm saving you.

[laughing] You're a woman. We're men.

Djaq

Irritating, isn't it?

Djaq

Now what? Do you actually have a plan?

Allan

I've never been in this part of the castle.

Will

I'm burning this!

Djaq

Will, no!

[Grabs the ledger from Will's hand.] Steady.

Will

This is not science. This is murder.

Djaq

Think of this as progress. Other scientists could do much better things with Greek fire!

Allan

Yeah! You could blow up the whole castle with that stuff!

Much

Learnt that in Cyprus. There, they, uh, called it-

Shish kebabi.

Much

Then you'll know how delicious they are.

Djaq

Are you sure it's a good idea to give him the knife?

Much

He does have a name. He's called, uh... He's called Harold.

Djaq

This is prince Mhalec Al Ajubi Ibm Chati!

Djaq

Nephew of Saladin! I served under him.

Much

The Saladin?

Allan

Oops!

Much

I hate bats. Bats are rats. Rats with wings.

Djaq

No, they're intelligent. Bats make noises you cannot hear.

Allan

What's the point of that? Noises you can't hear.

Much

What if there was a noise nobody could hear.

Allan

[playfully] Shut up.

Much

And then if you were the only person in the world who could hear it. Because I am that person. To see sense where others see nonsense. Just like the bat. I take it back. I like the bat. The bat is my friend. The bat understands me.

Much

What is it girls eat?

Djaq

Special girls food.

Much

Now, does she want an egg or bacon? She can't have both, I don't care who she is.

Djaq

Pray to your God...and to mine. She is going to die.

Much

Die? What do you mean, die?

Djaq

Her face. I've seen that look a thousand times.

Much

W-W-What do we do?

Djaq

I need clean instruments. Knives. :[Much uses the ladle to throw the egg away] And crush this [She hands him berries] into a fine paste. Now.

Much

Now, right, er, now.

Djaq

My father treated the wounded on the battlefield. He said never lie to a wounded man.

Marian

Or was it never lie to a dying man?

Djaq

He said that too.

Marian

So? Never lie to a dying man.

Robin

You are not going to die and I have never lied to you.

Marian

Oh, come on. We have never once spoken the truth to each other.

Robin

This is not the time to argue.

Marian

Do not tell me when it is time to argue!

Marian

What?

Robin

Well, I do not think there can be much wrong with you!

Marian

I'm serious. We have never once spoken the truth to each other. For instance, I say you are a fool when I mean you are a hero. I criticise your actions then mimic them myself as The Nightwatchman. I chastise Robin Hood...

Robin

Shh, shh, shh.

Marian

I will not be shushed, these might be my last words!

Robin

No they will not be. They cannot be. Because we should be together! Marian, I should never have left you, I should never have gone to war. It was a mistake! And you were right, I wanted glory but believe me the battlefield is the last place you’ll find it.

Marian

You would always have regretted it if you hadn't gone.

Robin

But not as much as I regret going. Not as much as I regret losing you. Marian, I should not have gone.

Marian

Robin...

Robin

I...

Djaq

I love you, you love me, we all love each other. Drink the wine.

Much

[pressing on Marian's wound] I'm just pressing, right?

Djaq

Yes. There's not much else we can do. The other physician has the instruments.

Much

Should I be able to feel a heartbeat?

Djaq

Yes.

Much

What are you doing?! What are you doing?! You'll hurt her!

Djaq

Trust me, Much. Where she is, she cannot feel a thing.

Much

No. Oh, come on, come on, Marian.

Much

Please!

Much

Yes! Yes!

Djaq

Allah be praised!

Much

ALLAH BE PRAISED!

ALLAH BE PRAISED!

Much

Well, how did you do that?

Djaq

Put your finger back in. Now!

You've been trained?

Djaq

A little.

Good. Good. Then you've probably saved her life.

Much

She has saved her life.