[Rick shoots Uncle Steve in the head with his laser gun; everyone freaks out]
What the hell, Rick?! What the hell?!
Would everybody just relax for a second? There's no such thing as an "Uncle Steve". That is an alien parasite.
[Steve's body morphs into a horrifying-looking alien, spraying magenta enzymes out of its mouth tentacles at Jerry. Summer and Beth gasp]
But I've known him my whole life!
No, you haven't, Jerry! [lifts it onto the table] These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories and th-th-they use those to multiply and spread out, take over planets. It's-it's disgusting.
Steve wasn't real?!
He's a real piece of shit! This is a big one. [drops it] Somebody probably tracked it in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit.
Someone?
Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.
But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!
No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food and multiply. We could be infested with these things. [burps, unloads laser clip] So, we got to keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.
Ooooh-wee! Whatever you want, Rick, we're here to help!
Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you.
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