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S1

Red vs Blue · Season 1

Caboose, Tucker and others in “Down, But Not Out (Episode 12)”

[Watching Tex through a sniper rifle] Man, he's really kicking their asses.

How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?

I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.

Sure makes things a lot easier on us.

Yeah... I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade.

It definitely seems like your killing Church is working out for us.

You think so, I was gonna say something but uh, but you know.

Did Tex get into the base?

[Tex enters the reds base]

Yeah.

Blue team flag returned.

What the?! Who said that?

[clears voice] Sorry that was me. I uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back by the way.

Hey, its Church!

Yeah, its me, hey Caboose.

Hey Church, what are you up to?

Caboose, hehe, I'm not really hear to make small talk, ok, how did you guys manage to get your flag back?

W-What, oh, that flag? We've always had that.

Tucker, who do think your trying to fool...hey wait a second, where's Tex?

Um, I'm not really sure he said was going to the store, uh something about elbow grease.

Oh great, this is so typical! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?

That sidewinder is cold!

argh, what was the other one thing I told you.

Not to let him get involved?

Right, and what did you do?

We let him get involved.

And not just a little involved, how involved?

Very, very involved.

Freeze.

[Lopez enters base]

Drop your weapons.

Hey buddy.

What?

You really better hope the first one knocks me out.

[Sarge knocks out Tex]

Ow, what the? Frickin head, Jesus.

He's hurt Grif, but he'll make, but we'll need to get him some help, fast.

Yeah, yeah, hold on a second, what happened here? First Donuts head exploded and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up-

[Simmons interrupts Grif] Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, I did not faint, something knocked me out.

Ok fine, just keep lying to yourself, whatever helps you sleep at night.

Man, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut out of here.

[Sarcastically] Yeah sure, oh and uh, I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking.

Whatever no one likes you anyway.

[Caboose watches Grif go into the base]

Yep, he's definitely captured....We're dead......Captured or dead [sigh]....Or captured and dead!

Well, that's just perfect!

What?! What is your problem?! Why do you even care if he's captured, I thought you hated that guy for stealing your girlfriend?

I never said I hated Tex. I just said she was the reason we never got married.

She?

Sarge, we need to get Donut airlifted outta here.

Can you put that in a memo and title it, "SHIT I ALREADY KNOW", get on the horn command! Well, look who's up, rise and shine buttercup!

[Voice filter broken] Oh great, you broke my voice filter, you cockbitting-fucktards!

Ah ha! I knew it, only a chick could give me a headache this big!

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