HHector
Eventually I stopped calling him Safety Man and started calling him just Gus, but to me, he'll always be... El Diablo!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
SOStore owner
Knarf! Oh, forgive me! I didn't mean to cross a level 42 sword master!
FFrank
I'll let you go this time, but watch out. The sword of Ganymede now hangs perilously close to your skull.
Here we go. Hmm, let's see. Seven! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! "Great riches will soon be yours." Oh, scary. Someone else give it a shot. Come on! You guys don't buy that Stinky Peterson junk, do you?
TJT.J.
Of course not. I pick four. One, two, three, four. "You will pass your greatest test with flying colors." Hey, that's not so bad. I think this thing's a friendly fortune teller.
Me next.
No, me next.
I'm next. Logic dictates we go girl, boy, girl, boy until we run out of girls. I pick one. "You will take a trip to an exotic land." My word, that is exciting!
My turn. Oh, great fortune teller, what wonders await me? Great riches? Fame? Adventure, perhaps? I pick five. One, two, three, four, five. "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow is your final day?" Hey! What kind of fortune is that?
Come on, Gus. None of that stuff's gonna come true. I mean, it's hard enough to imagine Spinelli getting rich and Gretchen taking a trip, but T.J. passing a test with flying colors? Get real.
[Cut to Miss Grotke's classroom]
Congratulations and karma kudos, T.J. Detweiler. I know one smart boy whose aura is going to glow all.
TJT.J.
101%?
But that can't be right! I only got 100%.
Wow! T.J. Passed his test with flying colors! It's just as the fortune teller foretold.
[enraged when Gus' trap accidentally drops the cage on her, which was meant for Gelman] GRISWALD!!!
GGelman
Y-you was gonna trap me in that thing?
TJT.J.
That's right, Gelman. You step out of line once more and bam! You're Finster-ized.
[Gelman screams and runs away]
[kindly] Uh... children. [the gang turns to her; infuriated] GET ME OUT OF HERE!
[The gang is eating lunch in the cafeteria as Gus finishes drinking his carton of chocolate milk]
TJT.J.
[amazed] Wow, Guster, what a set of lungs!
Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't have finished your milk first. I mean, aren't you gonna need it for your peanut butter sandwich?
I couldn't help myself, guys. I love chocolate milk. Whoever thought that putting candy in milk was a genius. [takes a bite of his sandwich] An evil genius. Be right back.
LLawson
FOOD FIGHT!!!
[While all the kids are forced by Miss Finster to clean up the mess in the cafeteria after their food fight…]
Oh, man, I got more food on me from cleaning than I did in battle!
Guys, I can put an end to this if I just told on…
TJT.J.
[as he and the others cover his mouth; sternly] Don't say it, Gus.
But you don't understand! It was… [his friends cover his mouth again]
TJT.J.
Gus, I'm serious. Don't say it. That'll make you a tattletale.
Yeah, and being a tattletale is against the kids' unwritten code of honor.
Are you sure? I mean, it is unwritten and all.
Not anymore, Gus. Behold, the code has now been issued on this convenient and durable laminated reference card.
TJT.J.
[reading] "Tattletale go to jail. Stick your head in a garbage pail." [sighs] It's pretty clear, all right.
Attention, miscreants. You've (all) been cleaning for over an hour already, and no one's come forward to squeal.
That's 'cause we've got the code. Right, guys?
You may be strong in a group. But we'll see how you hold up to individual interrogations. [Gus gulps nervously] We will start in alphabetical order. Beginning with… Adam Able.
AAdam
[disappointed] Oh, man, I'm always first. Why couldn't I have been born Zebadiah Zwick?
Care for a soda, Randall?
Gee, thanks, Miss Finster. Don't mind if I do.
I need you to do me a little favor, Randall. Somebody out there knows more than they're admitting. I want you to find out who it is.
You got it, Miss Finster. As always, it's a pleasure working with you.
It's only a matter of time.
Next!
[shouting in protest] YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME TELL! THERE'S A CODE! AN UNBREAKABLE KID CODE! [covers his mouth]
A code, eh? Well, let's just see if we can't crack it. Forget the alphabets, sonny, you're next!
Gus. You okay, man?
Did you crack?
TJT.J.
Back off, guys. Give him some air.
[blowing her whistle] This investigation is officially closed. Thanks, boys. I've ID'd the perp. The culprit is… [sighs] Randall Weems.
No, I-I didn't mean to do it! It was an accident, I tell you! The mashed potatoes slipped out of my hand!
I'm very disappointed in you, Randall. My own little weasel gone bad. My world is shaken.
[berating Gus as he's being taken away] Griswald, you ratted me out! You're a tattletale, you hear me?! A TATTLETALE!!!
STOP! Unhand that boy.
JJerome
We'll get you later, Griswald, when your girlfriend's not around.
Cute, Jerome, but this boy told me nothing. Poor Randall was fingered by science.
The nerve of that birthday boy, leaving me to do my own grunt work. Let's see. Any evidence of contraband. Chewing gum? Candy wrappers? Hmm, what have we here? Jackpot.
Detweiler! I knew I'd catch the culprit sooner or later.
TJT.J.
Huh?
This official memo proves that you're the rapscallion who threw Principal Prickly's flip-flops on the roof.
TJT.J.
I'm innocent, I'm telling you! Randall, you set me up.
I didn't. I... I--
You and the birthday boy can iron out your petty differences later, after one week of level-4 detention.
TJT.J.
[as Miss Finster takes him away] I'VE BEEN FRAMED!
[laughs nervously as the rest of the gang glares at him] Anyone for a bounce?
[Gretchen, Vince and Spinelli angrily chase him around while bouncing in the bouncy house]
When we catch you, we are going to bounce you to the moon!
But I threw the note in the trash! How was I supposed to know Finster would find it?
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