Not that I don't love leaves, but what's going on today, anyway?
The town's bustling because the 60-year-old statue of Thaddeus T. Third III has been returned to its rightful place in front of the school that bears his name.
Gee! I don't remember any statue ever being out here.
That's because it's been overseas for eight years getting shined and--
[As they walk to the front of the school, they gasp in amazement when they see the statue]
He's so regal! His chiseled features seem to say, "I'm an important fellow."
Not to me, Mikey. To me they say, "Hop on, Jasper! I'm built for climbing."
[The gang start to climb up the statue; On the other side of the curtain, Principal Prickly is making an announcement]
Mr. Mayor, distinguished guests, "big story news" team. It is an honor to host this "Welcome back, Thad" celebration, welcoming back a man with whom we all grew up, a man for whom this street and school are named. A man named... Thaddeus T. Third III!
[The curtains pull back, revealing the statue… and the gang on top of it; the crowd gasp in shock]
[chuckles cheekily] How you doin', folks?
[The statue suddenly starts to topple]
[The gang jump off from the statue and it falls on the ground, destroyed and shattered into pieces; Mayor Fitzhugh babbles in horrified shock]
MCMort Chalk
You gettin' this?
MFMayor Fitzhugh
[outraged] Prickly! Do you know what this means?!
[before Prickly could say anything] He certainly does, Mr. Mayor. [to the gang] You six are in the biggest trouble ever!
[The gang gasp in shock]
Man, oh, man. My mom and dad didn't take too kindly to the news last night.
Pop says I'm not allowed to have another accident until I'm 35.
People were crying in the interviews! It was tearing me apart!
Look, first thing we do when we get to school, is knock on Prickly's door, explain our side of the story, and apologize up and down.
Good idea, Teej. That should clear things up. [Later at school, they're watching Randall and some other kids playing in a leaf pile] Poppin' bobula! Randall just got first flop in our leaf pile!
[closing the window blinds] No window-gazing for you six! Time to start your punishment. Now, I can make this difficult, or I can make this difficult.
Miss Finster, ma'am, before detention, we would like to speak to Principal Prickly.
Ha! For obvious political reasons, Principal Prickly can't afford to be seen with you. Now, follow me... Vandals!
Gee, Miss Finster, I don't know if I like being called a vandal.
Maybe your new outfits will help you feel the part.
[The gang are now wearing orange prison jumpsuits]
My, my! Don't we look so very...orange? I trust "the Destructive Six" are feeling constructive today?
Yes, sure we do, Miss Finster, but when do we get to tell people how sorry we are?
Enough back talk! Time to receive your new tools. [holds out a bucket of soap and water and six toothbrushes]
But I already brushed my teeth.
Oh, they're not for your teeth. [laughs evilly]
[The gang are then seen using the toothbrushes to clean the hallway floor]
[The gang are in the cafeteria kitchen, peeling onions while weeping tearfully due to its reaction]
[tearfully] It's hard to tell where the onion-crying stops and the loss-of-a-carefree-childhood crying begins.
It's going to be okay, Mikey.
What are you talking about, "brains?" We're in the biggest trouble ever!
I'm perfectly aware our situation is hopeless, Vince. I was really trying to console Mikey.
Guys, we got to stay together. The adults are already doing enough to punish us. We shouldn't punish each other.
MFMayor Fitzhugh
And after much deliberation, we here at City Hall have decided to break up "the Destructive Six," and scatter them throughout the district.
Mr. Mayor, can I say something?
MFMayor Fitzhugh
I don't know. Can you?
Sorry, sir. May I say something?
MFMayor Fitzhugh
That's better.
Your Honor, this whole time we've been trying to say how sorry we are that the statue broke, so here it is-- We're sorry. We didn't mean to break it. Heck, we thought we were supposed to climb it. I guess we weren't. But the thing is, a priceless statue doesn't feel anything when it gets all broken up, but, sir, a friendship like ours sure does.
MFMayor Fitzhugh
Yeah, well. After some deliberation, we agree what you said was very nice. However, a beloved statue has been broken because you climbed on it, and now you all must pay!
[Nighttime at the Grundler residence]
GMrs. Grundler
[opening her daughter's bedroom door] Gretchen, dear, are you still up?
Just finishing my homework, Mom.
GMrs. Grundler
Oh, look at all that. You know, this new quadruple homework mandate is a bit excessive.
[T.J. is sitting alone in the cafeteria for detention and sighs remorsefully]
No sighing in detention, Detweiler.
Yes, Miss Finster. Sorry, Miss Finster.
[His friends are watching outside through the window]
Man, the playground just isn't the same when Teej is in detention.
True. In his absence, we average a startling four or fewer laughs per recess.
Look, I like Teej as much as the next kid, but it's recess, and we have to have fun.
[All the kids are boarding the buses for their field trip to the Great State Fair]
Board the bus in an orderly and harmonic fashion, and please have your signed permission slips ready.
[holding her permission slip] Ah, the good ol' "get-out-of-class-free" card.
[takes out his permission slip] This is one note from school I'm happy to have my parents sign.
[checking his pockets, realizing he doesn't have his permission slip] Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no!
Don't tell me you forgot your permission slip, Gus.
I had it this morning. My dad signed it at breakfast, and then he must've put it in his pocket by mistake!
Maybe your father could bring it from his office.
He's not at the office. He's out with the whole division having war games, and Mom's out looking at drapes.
Not to worry, Gus. Miss Grotke will understand.
Thank you, Phil. Watch your step, Judy.
Miss Grotke, we got a problem.
Gus forgot his permission slip.
Oh, my, that is a problem. Without a permission slip, Gus, you can't go. It's school policy.
[Gus whimpers sadly]
[As the kids corner Spinelli, angrily blaming her for the negative consequences of their actions and threatening to get their revenge on her]
GKGuru Kid
[stepping in, defending her] Wait. This is not the way.
SGSwinger Girl
Step aside, skinny. Spinelli's got it coming!
GKGuru Kid
Does she? And why is that? Did you not all receive the help you sought?
GKGuru Kid
Blame not the advisor if one chooses to take her advice. Do we all not have the free will to do as we choose? Why not hold her responsible for her actions or you for yours
SGSwinger Girl
You know, turban boy make sense. I mean, nobody told us we had to listen to Spinelli.
Look, that MO sticker on the bumper. That's the international abbreviation for Moldavakia.
Moldavakia is a former Eastern Bloc country famous for its luge team, tiny ceramic gnomes, and espionage.
Of course! The mysterious phone call, the weird guy from Moldy-vakia, this creepy fog hanging around the school... There's no other explanation. Miss Grotke's a spy!
A fourth grade teacher... What a great cover.
I can't believe it. I won't believe it.
Believe it, Mikey. The box with a star for Miss Grotke's "program"... I'm telling you guys, all the evidence points in one direction: S-P-I.
Actually, it's S-P-Y, but T.J. makes a rather compelling argument.
But wait a second. Is she one of ours or one of theirs?
