[Mikey, T.J., and Gretchen are sitting on the swings as Gus, Vince, and Spinelli approach them after searching everywhere for Gretchen's stolen Galileo]
I looked in Miss Grotke's class.
And I checked the P.E. room. Nothing.
[worried] This is a nightmare!
Let's go over this again. You asked the diggers, you talked to the Ashleys, you checked the Lost and Found... [Gretchen's eyes widen open] You did check the Lost and Found, didn't you?
[Gretchen gets up from the swing and quickly runs off to see Menlo]
The Lost and Found box, Menlo. I need to see it, now!
MMenlo
That's not the way it works. You tell me what you lost, and I'll tell you if it's in the box. Those are the rules.
[sighs] One Galileo hand-held PC Model G55 serial number 76502.
MMenlo
Oh, yeah. [takes out the box] Spiffy little piece of tech. 300 meg chip, voice activated control, cellular email.
Yes, yes, that's it! Is it in there?
MMenlo
Nope, I just like asking. [as Gretchen digs around in the box] I do remember seeing something like that, though.
MMenlo
I don't know. My memory's a little hazy.
[grabs and pulls him by the collar; sharply] OUT WITH IT!
MMenlo
Okay! Okay! Just don't hurt me! Yesterday at recess, I was…
[narrating] Menlo sang like an old guy in the shower when nobody's home. He told me who had Galileo. It was Greg Skeens, the graffiti kid, guy who couldn't spell "computer," much less use one. Menlo told me where to find him. I don't make it a habit to slum in the Third Street School underworld. But if I wanted Galileo back, I had to hold my nose and plunge in. [finds Greg Skeens drawing a graffiti of Finster] Nice work. You're a regular Degas.
SSkeens
What'd you call me?
Nothing. Listen, I seem to have misplaced my hand-held computer. About yea big, matte-black finish, soothing voice. Maybe you've seen it around.
SSkeens
You mean that TV remote I found under the bench by the kickball field? I traded it for a stick of gum. Stupid thing didn't even work on my TV.
Who?! Who did you trade it to?!
SSkeens
Hey! I'm no blabbermouth. Now beat it. I'm busy. I need to write something nasty about Finster before the bell. Uh... how do you spell "meanie?"
[Gretchen finds Kurst in the cafeteria kitchen where she's eating all the food from the fridge, after Mundy told her about trading her stolen Galileo to her]
[confronting her; demanding] Kurst! I want my Galileo computer! I know Mundy gave it to you and I want it back!
KKurst
That piece of junk? I traded it. You can't eat a copy thingy. Now butt off! I'm about to enjoy an all-I-can-eat buffet, courtesy of Third Street School.
KKurst
You heard me, blow! Go on, dangle!
[narrating] Maybe I should've just turned around and walked away. Maybe I should've gone to the authorities and let the system do its job. Maybe I should've done a lot things, but I didn't. Before I knew it hit me, something inside me snapped. [shouting in fury] KURST!!! I WANT MY GALILEO, AND I WANT IT NOW!
KKurst
Oh, you do, do ya? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I handed it over… TO SEÑOR PUDDING!
[The two girls start fighting by throwing food to each other; fade back to the present]
I got Kurst good a couple of times, then she blind-sighted me with a bowl of tapioca. When I came to my senses, she was gone. I managed to sneak out of there, unseen, but by the time I was done wiping pudding out of my hair, Finster was all over me like a pig on sorbet.
SBSue Bob
But I don't get it. How'd Finster finger you?
LMiss Lemon
It wasn't so tough, girly. Gretchen here, left a trail of clues a mile wide. "Nefarious" happens to be the word she won last year's spelling bee with. The viscosity of liquid soap was the subject of her blue ribbon science fair project, and finally, here's a tissue, for Pete's sake, you missed a spot of tapioca on your glasses. Oh, you're smart, Grundler, but it's all book and no street. [laughs]
[takes off her glasses to wipe off the tapioca spot] Anyway, I guess you could say I got what's coming to me.
LMiss Lemon
[answers the phone] Yes, sir? I see. [hangs up] Okay, Grundler. He'll see you now.
[gets up; to Sue Bob] Wish me luck. [enters Principal Prickly's office]
[as she takes a seat in front of him; sternly] Well, well, Miss Grundler, you're the last person I would've expected to go rotten, but facts speak for themselves. As much as it pains me, I'm afraid I must lower the boom on you.
[narrating] It was a crazy end to a crazy story. Principal Prickly got so interested in what I was showing him on his computer, he forgot all about taking away my recess, though, I did have to clean up the messes. Still, I got Galileo back, I survived my sordid journey through the Underworld, and I'm never going back there again.
Maybe Santa was just having a bad day.
No, that was an imposter. They come out of the woodwork this time of year.
So, where are we going now?
To see the real Santa. He's riding in the big Christmas parade. We better hurry, or we're going to miss him.
[offended] It's not fair. It's just not fair.
[also offended] Yeah, this whomps.
How come you guys get to miss school and we don't?
Because the Young Inventors Fair is an invitational exposition.
Means you gotta be invited.
It's a great opportunity to show off exciting new ideas from smart young minds.
So why is Spinelli going with you?
'Cause she needed a smart kid to be her assistant. Wanna make something of it?
N-not at all. May I be the first to wish you success on this and all future scientific endeavors?
Come, Gretchen, our colleagues await.
Girls. They sure stick together.
[Mikey gets gum all over his head and in his hair while trying to make the record for blowing up a big bubblegum when Captain Sticky popped it]
No! This can't be happening!
Come on, Mikey, You'll break the bubble gum record next time.
You don't understand. There won't be a next time. There wasn't even supposed to be a this time. I'm not allowed to chew gum, because when I do, I do this. When my mom and dad find out that I got gum in my hair again, I'm gonna be grounded for a whole year!
What about using ice on your hair? I heard that works.
Tried it before. It froze my brain.
Putting a paper bag over your head and then-- [realizes] No, wait. That's for hiccups.
Calm down, big guy. We can fix it so your mom and dad will never know the difference.
All you do gotta do is get a haircut.
But I spent all my money on gum. I don't have enough left to go to a barber.
You don't need a barber. You got one right here. Snippety-snip, problem solved.
Uh, Teej, can I talk to you for a minute? No offense, man, but are you wack? What do you know about cutting hair?
Come on. I've seen Mr. Neno do it a million times. You comb, you cut, you watch out for the ears. So, Mikey, up for the haircut?
[as Gus holds up the mirror, only showing his face] Could you step back a little, Gus? I can't see my hair. [Gus steps back a bit and holds up the mirror again, showing his horrible half-bald haircut; screams in horror]
Was that a good "ah" or a bad one?
Careful, Mikey. You're getting awfully close to hurting Mr. Teej's feelings.
Your feelings?! What about my head?!
Like, these are the entry forms for the official kiddie cosmetics “Little Miss Blush” beauty contest.
AQAshley Q.
Pageants, nature’s way of pointing out perfection.
I’m totally sure an Ashley would take the crown this year. So fill out your entry forms and take them please and dazzle em'...
[off screen] Like totally special delivery!
