Ted quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Melanie

It's funny, usually when we go to these events it's for my business and Lindsay's there to support me. But tonight, I'm the wife! [walks away]

Ted

Yeah... guess I am, too.

Ted

I felt so good... for once. All those voices that tell me that I'm shit, that I'm nothing, that I'm ugly... were finally gone. I felt so hot, so sexy... the way Brian must feel all the time. Everybody wanted me. And I wanted them. Could fuck a room full of guys and still fuck some more.

Emmett

Well, you don't need them now... cause you've got me.

Ted

Let me tell you something, no matter how many fancy parties you give or how much money they give you to give them you'll always be a piece of trash from Hazelhurst, Mississippi.

Emmett

I don't need you to tell me that, because I tell myself that every day. But at least I am not a tweaked out FUCKED OUT CRYSTAL QUEEN!

Ted

I don't want to be me anymore. I hated that person. For the first time in my life, I am relaxed, I am happy, and I am having FUN!

Emmett

You call this fun? This is pathetic.

Emmett

You're an addict.

Ted

I'm not an addict!

Emmett

I'm sorry, sweetie, but it's true. That's what you are. And if that's what you wanna be, fine I can't stop you, but I sure as hell am not gonna join you.

Blake

Ted?

Ted

Blake?

Ted

I uh... got myself into a little trouble.

Blake

It's okay. You don't need to explain... Listen um, I'm going to group. Do you want to come with me?

Ted

Well, you know, I did sign up for the Badminton tournament.

Blake

You're still funny.

Ted

Yeah... [they walk] Last time I saw you was...

Blake

When you brought me here.

Ted

Now you're back.

Blake

You could say that.

Ted

Guess it isn't easy getting off this...

Blake

You'll do it. [they walk into the group room and sit down] Well, let's get started. My name is Blake and I'm your counselor.

Emmett

You're not gonna get better sitting on the sofa. So why don't you take your sardonic wit, and your superior 'I'm not like all those other losers' attitude and get your ass back there.

Ted

So they can fix me? It's too late. I'm beyond repair. I have nothing. No future, no friends, no job, no lover. What's the point? Might as well be dead.

Emmett

Then do it. Go on. Kill yourself. You'd be doing us all a favor. Only don't be a man about it. Be a Queen.

Brian

What you've accomplished is an amazing achievement. To sink so low. To hit bottom with such a resounding thud.

Ted

You know, you should be a guest motivational speaker in rehab.

Blake

You sure you want to trash that?

Ted

Hook ups, porn sites, not to mention endless emails about how to increase my dick size.

Blake

I don't recall that being one of your short-comings.

Ted

As much as I'd like to OD on chocolate-

Michael

For a change... I mean...

Ted

I'm Ted, I'm a crystal meth addict.

Hi Ted.

Ted

This is my sixth week of recovery. Uh, I guess it all started about a year ago or so, I was struggling with feelings of worthlessness and depression, no longer had the will to go on. So in a moment of despair I decided to try what-

Brian

Come on. I need you.

Ted

Jesus, Brian, can't you see I'm sharing?

Brian

[looks around at the group] It's nothing you haven't heard before. Did drugs, fucked around, hit bottom, regrets it deeply... Let's go.

Brian

You were fucking amazing.

Ted

Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn't I?

Brian

The way you were going at it... there was no stopping you.

Emmett

It's very admirable, Ted, admitting your mistakes. Everyone forgive you?

Ted

So far.

Emmett

Must make you feel better.

Ted

Can't tell you how relieved I am.

Emmett

Good for you. But what's reading this letter gonna do for me? Hmm? Will it take away all the damage that's been done? All the pain that's been inflicted? Will it make up for my feeling inadequate and helpless? Or erase all those memories of you descending into your addiction while you tried to drag me down with you? Sorry, Teddy. You'll just have to get your feel-good fix from someone else.

Emmett

There was a part of me that didn't want you to recover... wanted you to be in pain. Felt like you deserved it. Pretty runty, huh?

Ted

Not really. Felt the same way myself.