Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Ted

I've been uh, thinking of a way to say this without sounding maudlin, hence incurring your wrath, so I've decided to delete any references to loyalty, friendship, responsibility, and being one's brother's keeper, and go with a simple... thank you.

Brian

Who said I was buying you lunch?

Brian

You're going to be a great dad.

Michael

What makes you so sure?

Brian

You raised me, didn't you? Look how I turned out.

Justin

I was going to tell you.

Brian

When?!

Justin

After I got the job.

Brian

Ah, you don't have the job until I sign off. And I don't sign off until I ask the potential candidate a few questions, such as, what the fuck are you doing here?

Justin

Brian.

Brian

The ubiquitous Justin Taylor.

Justin

Fancy meeting you here.

Brian

Fancy that. Where's your boyfriend?

Justin

I don't do boyfriends.

Brian

Since when?

Justin

Since we broke up.

Brian

What happened to the love that was gonna last an eternity?

Justin

Eternity's aren't as long as they used to be. Buy you a drink?

Brian

...but you're young and inexperienced.

Justin

What and you're so smart? If you had any fucking brains at all, you'd never would have let me leave! You would have told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life, that I would live to regret it, that what you gave me was worth a thousand... a million times more than anything he had to offer. You would have told me that you loved me. That you would go on loving me even after I was gone.

Brian

Is that what you were waiting to hear?

Justin

Yes. But as usual you never said it. So it's just as well that I go.

Brian

That is so like you! You don't hear what you want, so you leave. Try standing up for yourself for a change. Have some balls!

Justin

I gave it some thought, I've decided you should take me back.

Brian

Oh?

Justin

Even though I've made a few mistakes. I think you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance.

Brian

I see.

Justin

'Cause now I understand what it is you want of me. And I know what I can expect from you.

Brian

You also understand that you'll be required to work long hard hours, sometimes deep into the night?

Justin

It'll be a pleasure to work under you... sir.

Brian

And you're never to play violin music in my presence again.

Justin

I promise.

Brian

Good. Well, then. You can start... immediately.

Brian

It will all seem like a distant memory except for you, 'cause wherever I go and whoever I'm with I'll always love you.

Michael

Bullshit.

Let's just say we no longer bat for the same team.

Brian

What team is that? The Pittsburgh Poon Chasers?

Who's he?

Brian

Um mm, that's a difficult question to answer given the limitations of the language, conventionality of most people's thinking... let's just say he's the guy I fuck more than once.

Justin

Unlike you.

What are you boys up to?

Brian

We're just looking for a good place to fuck. Know of any?

Ben

So... did you see it? What'd it look like?

Brian

Did it have your cute little turned up nose, button eyes, and perfectly shaped penis?

Michael

You really think so?

Ben

Hey.. hey!

Michael

It's the size of a peanut... the baby.

Debbie

Once upon a Godforsaken time, there was a beautiful princess. She worked her ass off until she popped her kid, and went back to work 3 days later.

Brian

That Diana was an inspiration.

Debbie

The bottom line is I couldn't afford the luxury of not working. I had to earn a living.

Michael

Yeah, but you were 17! Mel's in her thirties, and she's got endo-metri- whatever the fuck it's called and now she's taking on the biggest court case of her life!

Brian

Yeah, and don't forget; she's a crazy lesbian!

Debbie

Don't pick up any strangers!

Brian

Unless they're hot.

Justin

This sucks.

Brian

And not in a positive life-affirming way!

Brian

Stockwell's finally done it. We're just to stay at home and fuck in our beds.

Justin

You're the one who helped him turn us into straight law-abiding citizens.