Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

Ben's just moving in.

Brian

Suffering Sappho. You too.

Michael

You must really love him.

Brian

I told him from day one I don't believe in love, I believe in-

Michael

-fucking, yeah I know.

That was one of my top ten fucks.

Brian

Yeah. Definitely one of my top ten... thousand.

Emmett

You're just jealous because we have what you don't.

Brian

Anal warts?

Ted

A loving, mature relationship... [to Emmett] open up for the choo-choo boo-boo!

Michael

I don't know how you do it. Working all day, fucking all night.

Brian

Well, they say in the vast infinite of space, the faster you move, the slower you age. I have to believe the same holds true for Pittsburgh.

Justin

I could be poor for a long time...

Brian

Well, knowing your tastes, you'd better not be.

Michael

Where are you?

Brian

Where you never grow old. Where everything is beautiful!

Michael

That's a sizeable chunk of change for Boyfriend Replacement Therapy.

Brian

I don't have a boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend.

Justin

What's it for?

Brian

It's for the center Carnival.

Justin

[Laughs] You fucking hate the center!

Brian

Not when they're paying me. So how much do you want?

Justin

It's for a good cause, so it's free.

Brian

Christ — didn't I teach you anything?

Justin

500.

Brian

200.

Justin

500; take it or leave it.

Brian

I like the way you do business.

Michael

Mom, what are you doing here?!

Debbie

Same thing you are.

Brian

Cruising for a blow job?

Michael

Jesus, Ma, you already go to the same bars and same clubs as I do, now you gotta come to the same gym? Can I have one place in the world that's my own?

Debbie

Do you want to be work out buddies?

Brian

Just give me one valid reason why any queer in his right mind would wanna bring a kid into this world?

Michael

Hm...

You can't think of one, can you?

Michael

Wait a minute! Hold on. [he thinks of a reason] To piss off straight people.

Brian

Yo bitches, I'm offering to lend a hand.

Melanie

Beat it.

Brian

That's what I'm offering to do!

Justin

I guess I better go.

Brian

Tell Ian we missed him!

Debbie

Who's the cutie?

Brian

He's the spawn of Satan and my sister.

Debbie

I thought I recognized a family resemblance.

Michael

What are you doing with your nephew?

Brian

I'm brat-sitting.