Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Brian

Are you listening?

Michael

[In tears] I'm listening.

Brian

The night Justin was bashed, and I called you and you were about to get on a plane, and you came here and you sat with me for three days, waiting to see if he was gonna live or die; if it hadn't of been for you I never would have made it. It was because of you. You're strong enough for both of us. And you're gonna be strong for Ben.

Michael

[To Ted] How do get any work done with all these hot, horny guys around you?

Brian

Yeah, if it were me I would have a permanent boner.

Michael

Thought you already did.

Justin

You scared me.

Brian

Relax. It's not that kind of a shower scene.

Ted

The unthinkable has happened.

Brian

Ted Schmidt woke one morning from fitful dreams to find himself transformed in his bed into a giant vagina.

Ted

I'm immune...

Brian

To penicillin? To clever literary references?

Ted

To porn!

Brian

Hey what size does this come in?

Emmett

Twink, stud, and bear.

Brian

I'll take a... stud?

Ted

I'll take two!

Michael

Don't you guys tell each other where you're going or what you're doing?... I'm just asking!

Brian

It's not a psych ward! You don't have to sign out, call in and report our whereabouts, we've even stopped wearing those homing devices.

Michael

What if... there was someone else? Someone that he was seeing that you didn't know about?

Brian

What if there was?

Michael

You'd be okay with that too?

Brian

He doesn't owe me anything.

Michael

What about the truth?

Emmett

I think I sprained my wrist! See how it's hanging there all limp like that?

Brian

Doesn't look that much different to me.

Ethan

Hey, excuse me, sir! You uhh... dropped 100 dollars in my case.

Brian

It says you're starving.

Ethan

Yeah, well, more like a little hungry.

Brian

So how big's his dick?

Justin

That has nothing to do with it.

Brian

Since when? You love cock. You love it down your throat. You love it up your ass. You love riding it. And after you cum, you love to fall asleep, still inside you.

Justin

Cut it out.

Brian

You're hard. So... don't tell me it doesn't matter.

Justin

He loves me.

Brian

Your dreamy eyed school boy.

Justin

In ways that you can't.

Brian

In ways that I won't.

Justin

We're not speaking.

Brian

Creative differences.

Justin

Actually, we're in total agreement. He thinks I'm an asshole and I think he's one.

Lindsay

So you'd rather be alone than be with the one person who loved you enough to almost put up with all your bullshit.

Brian

I never loved him! And even if I did, I'd never ask him to put my needs above his, or be something he's not to make me happy. Tell him if he's not getting what he wants, then go find it someplace else.

Brian

I leave you two alone for five minutes!

Michael

Christ, Brian! How'd you get in here?

Brian

My widdle key.