Quantum Leap quotes

Sam

Dammit Ziggy! Tell me something I don't know!

Tina's having an affair with Gushie.

Sam

Something to help Al.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.

Sam

That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human -- I'm a chimp. We don't have rules for chimps, do we?

It's much worse than death... in two days, she goes home... she spends the rest of her life alone... without love... in Cleveland.

Tea? Not coffee?

Sam

I'm making some tea. Tea. T-E-A tea. Tea, tea, tea. I don't like coffee, I like tea....Does drinking tea make me any less of a man than somebody who drinks coffee? I mean, is every tea-drinker in the entire history of the world gay to you? Is that it? What about the Boston Tea Party? Was that like some kind of a gay boat festival or something?

I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that.

I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that!

Sam, Roberto would never let her get away with that. Try this...

Sam

What's the matter, did you fall off your broomstick this morning!?

Stay on her, Sam.

Sam

And what earth-shattering news are you working on this week?

Gas stations that promise full service but don't deliver.

Sam

I was trying to save your life.

By running me down and beating me up?

Sam

No, no. I thought...I thought that your heart had stopped. I was just trying to get it started again, that's all.

Oh, why don't you back over me a couple more times?

Sam

You shouldn't move.

You shouldn't drive.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 'Oops! It was an accident! I accidentally killed everybody. Haw haw. Now I'm stuck with this secret load of secret treasure. Oh, I'm going to have to give up my measley, poor-paying professorship and go somewhere and live a life of ease and luxury somewhere else. Ha ha.' Give her an Oscar and let's get the hell outta here.

Bingo bango bongo!

I know it's more comforting to believe in plots, because if Kennedy could be killed that easily, by one sicko, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Gushie, if I should suddenly pop out of existence, I want to leave everything to my first wife, Beth.

He thinks I'm Saint Peter and that I'm going to send him to Hell for overcharging his hours.

He has all the signs of the undead.

Sam

And you have all the signs of the brain dead.