Quantum Leap · Season 4
[Sam and Al have traded places -- Al as the leaper, Sam as the hologram from the lab.]
Do you have any Sweet 'n Low? Or Equal?
Sweet 'n low? Equal?
No, no, no, no, no. They didn't have any artificial sweetner in 1945. Okay?
[Sam looks at Kelly.]
But boy, did they have women with big kazooms!
Even with the cafe I'm rationed a half a pound of sugar a week. And Mike tries to put all of it into in his cup.
Are you forgetting who slips you an extra pound of butter every now and then?
I didn't know I was swappin' sugar for it.
Well, if a pound of butter is all it takes, I got me a dairy farm that I...
[to Sam] Stop that!!
We're to be married in two days! What are my mother and father going to say?
Cancel the church, the reception, the cake...
Revenge is mine, thus sayeth the hologram.
What do you got on Al?
He is 175.26 cm tall, weighs 70.91--
Ziggy!
Yes, Doctor?
Give me what I want, baby.
Oooh. If you weren't my father...
Dammit Ziggy! Tell me something I don't know!
Tina's having an affair with Gushie.
Something to help Al.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.
That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human -- I'm a chimp. We don't have rules for chimps, do we?
It's much worse than death... in two days, she goes home... she spends the rest of her life alone... without love... in Cleveland.
Tea? Not coffee?
I'm making some tea. Tea. T-E-A tea. Tea, tea, tea. I don't like coffee, I like tea....Does drinking tea make me any less of a man than somebody who drinks coffee? I mean, is every tea-drinker in the entire history of the world gay to you? Is that it? What about the Boston Tea Party? Was that like some kind of a gay boat festival or something?
I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that.
I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that!
Sam, Roberto would never let her get away with that. Try this...
What's the matter, did you fall off your broomstick this morning!?
Stay on her, Sam.
And what earth-shattering news are you working on this week?
Gas stations that promise full service but don't deliver.
Al[sarcastic]: Now there's a national emergency.
Sam[snatching up a phone]: Get Me The President!
I was trying to save your life.
By running me down and beating me up?
No, no. I thought...I thought that your heart had stopped. I was just trying to get it started again, that's all.
Oh, why don't you back over me a couple more times?
You shouldn't move.
You shouldn't drive.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 'Oops! It was an accident! I accidentally killed everybody. Haw haw. Now I'm stuck with this secret load of secret treasure. Oh, I'm going to have to give up my measley, poor-paying professorship and go somewhere and live a life of ease and luxury somewhere else. Ha ha.' Give her an Oscar and let's get the hell outta here.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Quantum Leap pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
