Can you even name a famous fireman?
...Smokey the Bear?
First of all, Smokey the Bear is not a fireman. Number two, he's not real. Number three, HE'S A BEAR! He takes his poops in the woods, is that what you want?
“Earth, Wind and... Wait For It...” · Season 3, Episode 12
In this episode: Shawn Spencer (13), Gus (7), Carlton Lassiter (4), Henry Spencer (2), Karen Vick (1)
Who gave you access to the file room?
Irrelevant! And, immaterial.
Chief, you're not going to let him do that thing where he only uses courtroom jargon, are you?
Mr. Spencer...
He's making a mockery of these proceedings! All I'm saying is that she's making a very compelling argument.
MCMorgan Conrad
You're an idiot.
That's less compelling. Move to strike.
MCMorgan Conrad
Please remove him.
Gladly.
Sidebar, Ms. Conrad.
It's harvest season, Pa. Jeb can't work the plow. You know he ain't been right since he come down with the consumption!
A dead body changes things.
That's his email signature.
I want our killer--
Arsassin! Or karsonist?
Arsassin.
. . .
This could be our killer.
Furderer.
What?
Fire murderer... furderer.
. . .
We have found our arsonurderer.
What?
Firearsman.
Uh-uh.
Señor pantalones del fuego?
And they don't even have a dalmatian here, Shawn.
Would you stop with the dalmatians already?
I'm just saying. It would be nice to see one in its natural habitat.
They're not indigenous to firehouses, Gus.
So, kiddies, always remember to put out your cigarettes when you are finished smoking them.
TTeacher
Excuse me!
Uh, I mean, uh, don't smoke, uh, in bed... Or in restaurants... Or in caves.
TTeacher
No smoking, absolutely no smoking.
And don't listen to anyone who says that a pipe is cool, because I'm telling it is not.
FCFire Chief Dan
Get out, get out, get out!
I accidentally mixed up Fire Chief Dan's phone with mine. They're similar shapes and my hand was in his jacket pocket.
You stole his phone?
He was throwing us out! Gus, I plead the third.
The third amendment is no soldier can live in your house against your will. You mean the fifth.
Yeah, I've heard it both ways.
I plead the Fifth.
Mmm, element, dimension, Beatle?
You can't plead Billy Preston.
I think I have a bruise from all that CPR... can you see it?
All I see is chocolate with hair on it.
I warned you Shawn, fire fighters are trouble. I did everything in my power to keep you off of the pole!
And you succeeded dad... in every conceivable way.
Guys, please. Can we come up a term that covers both a killer AND an arsonist? How about "arsassin"?
. . .
I want our killer--
Arsassin! Or karsonist?
Arsassin.
. . .
We have found our arsonurderer.
What?
Firearsman.
Uh-uh.
Señor pantalones del fuego?
. . .
This could be our killer.
Furderer.
What?
Fire murderer...furderer.
MCMorgan Conrad
Are you sure?
I'm Al B. Sure watching Diane Schuur apply Sure roll-on while viewing The Sure Thing.
MCMorgan Conrad
That's pretty sure.
That's all-day sure.
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