Looks like you're good at your job.
Well, I'm not a doctor but, yes, I know a thing or two about pregnant women.
Stomach cramps?
Aren't about the baby.
What are you talking about? I've an alien being growing inside of me.
S2 E15Acceptance
S2 E16Ex-Life
DDerek
[to Addison] Archer's awake and complaining. Am I right? He ought to be happy he's on five of morphine.
He says that his vision is blurry and he would like you to run another CT.
DDerek
No.
No?
DDerek
Your brother's an ass. His vision's probably impaired because he can't see past his own ego.
DDerek
Next time I save your life, Archer, a simple thank you would suffice. If you were a neurosurgeon and not just a neurotic, you would know that it is common for a CSP to temporarily fill with fluid, post surgery. Repeat a CT in a month and this will be clear.
What? You mean he's going to be fine?
DDerek
No, he's going to be an ass, like he's always been.
I get what you're doing for Violet.
Please tell me you're not changing your mind.
I get that she's your best friend, but there comes a point in time when you can't have a woman be your best friend because there's a more important woman in your life. Or should be. But you and Violet, it's intimate. And she needs you. And, I think, at the end of the day, you need her. I'm outside of it. It's your thing. Your thing with Violet. And you want me to be a part of it, but I don't have it in me to make it work that way. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Cooper.
S2 E17Wait and See
[to Addison] I like women. I like a lot of women. But I am not married to Naomi and she is not the mother of my children.
Naomi sat by your side while you had surgery. She held your hand. You're upstairs sticking your tongue down her throat, seeing her every day, letting her believe that you two have something together.
Well, I thought I was dying.
You are... you are asking me to lie for you. You are making me feel dirty, and cheap, and I'm ten years old again. Telling Mother that I went out for ice cream with Daddy, when really I'm sitting in his office while he's screwing his secretary down the hall.
I slept with Archer Montgomery. I just thought you should know.
No! No! You don't get to just walk away from me after telling me that. How dare you? How dare you do this?
It's just the way I am.
Well, that's crap! You did the one thing you could, to push me away, to make me make the choice and not you. Guess what, Charlotte? That's not gonna work. I'm not going anywhere. You want to sleep with some guy to hurt me? To make me back off? Too bad. I'm here. I'm storming the freaking castle for you and you so underestimated me. What, you thought I was so weak that I'm going to walk away because my pride got wounded? You're mine and I'm not walking away because you're scared.
S2 E18Finishing
We've made a decision.
Together?
Paternity test. Now.
One of us gets out of your hair, the other one... has a right to know.
Look guys...
Know what, Cooper? You moved in, you pushed us out, you claimed your territory, but one thing is clear. This kid you're talking to, is not your kid, so, stay out of it.
Look, Pete...
The answer is right there for us to know.
We know that you don't want to face it, but we do.
I wish someone would call another woman's name in bed with me. Hell, I'd even take not knowing who the father of my baby was. Either way, it would mean that I'd had a man on top of me in recent history.
You are know what, that's really sad?
I know. The other day, I thought someone was trying to pick me up, and I felt my knees open just a little bit.
Um, hey... I... I don't want to spoil the fun, but I've got Betsy with me today, and 'say my name' 'who's my daddy' are a little loud. I don't want to explain what a paternity test is to my six-year-old.
I'm not telling them to shut up.
Oh, no, no, me neither.
S2 E19What Women Want
This bastion of men v men has been expropriated to be taken over by women.
You like women, Coop.
Yeah, and you know what? I'm living with one with no sexual benefits, I'm sleeping with one who's way too complicated and the one place where there can just be men; there are women.
[to Violet] Where's Katie?
She's still in the birthing suite. She needs some space. I'm afraid I'm not going to get through. She's in there staring at my belly. I represent everything she wants. She hates me for it.
She doesn't hate you. She just wants something she can't have and that's hard.
S2 E20Do the Right Thing
Having a conscience is brutal.
S2 E21What You Do for Love
NNoah
I hate heart transplants. You're basically waiting for someone to die to save the person who you want to live. It's horrible. Just sitting, and waiting, and sitting...
And not be in control? You can only do so much.
NNoah
And if, uh, you've got a baby, a baby who could die, you're just content to just chalk it all up to fate?
No, then it's on me.
NNoah
Exactly. We are the ultimate narcissists. Life and death is all up to us.
No wonder so many doctors are insufferable.
S2 E22Yours, Mine and Ours
[to Violet] I'm not the kind of guy who fights. I just don't see the point to it. And the times I've tried it, you hurt your knuckles, you don't really feel better, it doesn't solve anything. And I guess I'm, at heart, just a pacifist, 'cause I think fighting is stupid, I think war is wrong, and taking up arms for some cause just lacks nobility in today's world. So-
Pete, Pete-
I'm not the kinda guy who fights, but I should've fought for you! I should've fought for you, Violet. And I don't really know how else to say it except... I want your kid, whether it's mine or not. And I want your body, whether it's pregnant or not. And I want your heart, whether I have to fight for it or not. And I should've fought for it, but I was confused and angry and scared. So... I am fighting now... because I love you. And I think we can be something. I think we can be a family.
A year ago, I was stalking a man who wanted nothing to do with me and now I'm turning two good men down. Do I hate myself? Is it me? It it? Am I the problem?
Do you think you're the problem?
Oh, that's very therapeutic, making the patient answer her own question. And now I'm avoiding it.
S3 E1A Death in the Family
PPolice Officer
[to Pete] Sir, your relationship to... Violet?
He's her boyfriend. [to Pete] I was seeing a patient upstairs and I heard.
I'm sorry. I should've called.
PPolice Officer
And who are you?
I'm the baby's father.
Uh, well, kind of the baby's father.
Maybe the father. So is he.
We're both- We're the baby's father.
[to the cop] It's a long story. It's... Just wear a condom. Tell your friends. [chuckles]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Private Practice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.