Addison Montgomery quotes from Private Practice

Addison

I was humiliated.

Violet

Were you completely naked? Did you stand in front of him like a peeled banana while he looked over your best parts? Because I have good parts and Cooper passed on them. I have good parts!

Addison

Damm right you do and so do I!

Violet

I like your breasts.

Addison

You have a good ass.

Violet

Thank you! I like it.

Naomi

Hey, hey, hey! The point is, we should not be having sex in the office.

Violet

Who's having sex in the office?

Naomi

No one. No one! That's the point! It gets complicated, you just... you don't know where you stand.

Pete

Do you think I'm old?

Addison

Tell me you did not sleep with that temp. [laughs] You slept with Jodie the temp.

Pete

Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Addison

Yeah, well, at least you're getting out there. Me? Two dates seems to be my limit.

Pete

The cop?

Addison

He didn't call after our last date, so I called him, left him a message, a horrifying, embarrassing message. Probably scared him off. Not that I care. You know, I'm glad to not be talking to him.

Pete

Well, at least he didn't tell you you were old. Although... she did say that I was great.

Addison

Hey, to what do I owe this surprise?

I've got this coming weekend off and I was thinking you, me, Cabo San Lucas, weekend away Pamia, very fancy, perfect clear blue waters. [shows Addison the tickets] We could get away... too much?

Addison

No... Yes... No... Yes... yes. No here's look here's the thing, we've been out a few times and um it's, it's been great I, I really like you...

Is this where you break up with me?

Addison

No-- No, it's just um-- I have these rules, while they're stupid rules really but, in the past when I don't have rules it didn't go so well... my my my point is that now that I have my rules I don't wanna break them you know.

Yeah... I have no idea what you're talking about. I wanna know but, um, rules?

Addison

Sex rules.

Rules about sex?

Addison

You know a hotel means a room, a room means a bed, a bed means...

You have sex rules.

Addison

I'm waiting.

Until marriage?

Addison

No, no, no, no, I just um, until it feels right, until I'm sure.

Okay, so we'll wait. I'm good with waiting. I'm happy with waiting.

Addison

Really?

No, but I can wait.

Addison

So if I lease the fourth floor, then Sam and Naomi hate me, but if I don't, the Practice may go under.

So you lease it right?

Addison

You make it sound easy.

I lead guys everyday, leader makes tough decisions, sometimes that means pissing of a friend for the good of the group.

Addison

I want people to stop being pissed off.

Well, you need to decide who you want to be, a good friend, or a good leader?

Addison

You're smart, I don't like that.

Yes, you do. [Addison smiles] You want me to eat noodles off your back?

Addison

Yes, please.

Addison

You're living a lie, Daniel. You're cheating on two women and cheating ruins lives.

I'm not the one who ruined lives here today.

Addison

He's showing Kevin around, hopefully making nice. Apparently Archer didn't appreciate Kevin treating him like a criminal when they first met.

Naomi

You mean when he broke in like a criminal?

Addison

Exactly.

Addison

A polite house guest would've called to say they weren't coming home.

Archer

Good thing I'm not polite.

Violet

I am sex-less. I am without sex. Which can be healthy. Celibacy in some cultures is seen as a sign of strength. So I am strong. I am a strong healthy woman.

Addison

Hm, I miss sex.

Naomi

What are you talking about? You've got a gorgeous man sleeping in your bed.

Addison

Yeah, that's all he is doing in my bed. Doctor's orders.

Naomi

You have sex on the horizon, which is better than having had amazing sex in your recent past with no visible sign of it happening ever again.

Pete

[to Addison] You want my advice?

Addison

Please.

Pete

Ignore all advice.

Archer

[to Addison] This is you. Not mad. Like the time I loaned your cashmere sweater to Crystal McCullen.

Addison

She puked on it. She puked up strawberry daiquiri all over my sweater.

[to Addison] Archer's awake and complaining. Am I right? He ought to be happy he's on five of morphine.

Addison

He says that his vision is blurry and he would like you to run another CT.

No.

Addison

No?

Your brother's an ass. His vision's probably impaired because he can't see past his own ego.

Archer

[to Addison] I like women. I like a lot of women. But I am not married to Naomi and she is not the mother of my children.

Addison

Naomi sat by your side while you had surgery. She held your hand. You're upstairs sticking your tongue down her throat, seeing her every day, letting her believe that you two have something together.

Archer

Well, I thought I was dying.

Addison

You are... you are asking me to lie for you. You are making me feel dirty, and cheap, and I'm ten years old again. Telling Mother that I went out for ice cream with Daddy, when really I'm sitting in his office while he's screwing his secretary down the hall.

Addison

I wish someone would call another woman's name in bed with me. Hell, I'd even take not knowing who the father of my baby was. Either way, it would mean that I'd had a man on top of me in recent history.

Naomi

You are know what, that's really sad?

Addison

I know. The other day, I thought someone was trying to pick me up, and I felt my knees open just a little bit.

Dell

Um, hey... I... I don't want to spoil the fun, but I've got Betsy with me today, and 'say my name' 'who's my daddy' are a little loud. I don't want to explain what a paternity test is to my six-year-old.

Naomi

I'm not telling them to shut up.

Addison

Oh, no, no, me neither.

Addison

[to Violet] Where's Katie?

Violet

She's still in the birthing suite. She needs some space. I'm afraid I'm not going to get through. She's in there staring at my belly. I represent everything she wants. She hates me for it.

Pete

She doesn't hate you. She just wants something she can't have and that's hard.

I hate heart transplants. You're basically waiting for someone to die to save the person who you want to live. It's horrible. Just sitting, and waiting, and sitting...

Addison

And not be in control? You can only do so much.

And if, uh, you've got a baby, a baby who could die, you're just content to just chalk it all up to fate?

Addison

No, then it's on me.

Exactly. We are the ultimate narcissists. Life and death is all up to us.

Addison

No wonder so many doctors are insufferable.