Closed? But how can you close the pound?
CWChief Williams
I’m sorry to do this on Christmas Eve, Holly, but the pound is so behind in its bills. Well, I just had to close it down. I’m very sorry.
What bills is he talking about? We didn’t get any bills.
KatrinaOh, Holly!
This may be your answer coming down the street.
Katrina
I have a Christmas present for you. Five months of overdue bills! You can possibly pay them! (laughs evilly)
(singing) Yah-yah! Read ‘em and weep!
Katrina
Well, it’s true. Now come home, young lady. You’re going straight to bed.
No! I wanna stay with the puppies!
Katrina
Too bad! You’re coming home this instant!
No, you can’t do this! Please, Auntie Katrina! Please!
Katrina
Brattina! What is wrong with you?
I didn’t get anything for Christmas. It’s not fair! (crying)
Katrina
What do you mean, my little jalapeno? All these presents are for you.
But it’s not enough, Mommy Dearest! I didn’t get my bitter piranha bathtub toy, or my Suzy Spit-up Doll, or my…
Katrina
Oh, Brattina, stop whining! You should be grateful, you’re not one of those wretched Pound Puppies freezing out in the cold! Just look at them! They don’t even have a home for Christmas and they’re not crying!
Boy! I’ll say they’re not crying. They look happy, Mommy Dearest!
Katrina
What? What are those people doing out there? Why aren’t they home opening their gifts? Don’t they know it’s Christmas?
(singing) Holly believes in ghosts! Holly believes in ghosts! Only fools believe in ghouls! Holly believes in ghosts!
Katrina
Oh, Holly. Of all the silly willy stories.
But it’s true, Auntie Katrina! It was a real ghost and he warned us to leave the pound by midnight tonight!
Katrina
Now, now, Holly. You probably just had a nightmare. We all know there are no such things as ghosts. Oh! Well, ta-ta, girls. I’m off.
TTThe Terrible Terrier
(roars)
Katrina
(screaming)
TTThe Terrible Terrier
I warn you! Be gone by midnight, or else!
It’s gone, Mommy Dearest. The disgusting icky-poo ghost is gone.
Katrina
And so are we! We’re moving out of this house by tonight.
Move? But what about my Puppies?
Who cares about your icky-poo puppies?
Katrina
Now, now, Brattina, Holly cares very much for those, those hideous mongrels. Oh, well, I suppose we could all move, Holly. The puppies too.
You mean it, Auntie Katrina? The puppies can come with us?
Katrina
Yes, dear, if that’s what you want.
Gosh! Thanks, Auntie Katrina! This is wonderful!
Katrina
You don’t know the half of it, girlie. (laughs evilly)
Katrina
Oh, Dr. Simon. Please do come in and give the puppies their painful shots.
(singing) Give the dogs a shot! Make them cry a lot! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Lots of painful shots!
SDr. Simon
Actually, the shots aren’t that painful. The dogs will barely feel a thing.
Katrina
A total bummer.
SDr. Simon
All right, Holly, I’m ready. Would you please bring me the dogs? All the dogs.
Sure thing, Dr. Simon. Let’s go, puppies. Shot time.
SDr. Simon
I’m finished, Miss Stoneheart. Here’s my bill.
Katrina
Huh! This is the last time I spend money on shots that don’t hurt. It’s an outrage!
SDr. Simon
Good day, Miss Stoneheart.
Katrina
Wait a minute. You build me for 10 shots. There are only 5 dogs in this pound.
SDr. Simon
Nope. They were 10.
It's Cooler and those icky-poo gang.
Katrina
And I just paid for their shots! Stop them!
They escaped, Mommy Dearest! Cooler helped every one of your yucky puppies get away!
Katrina
I hate those dogs!
Hear that, Mommy Dearest? It’s that icky-poo puppy and her yucky bird.
Katrina
I know, but where are they hiding?
Catgut says they’re under the gunky ground.
Katrina
Worms and gophers are underground, you furball. Not dogs and birds. Now quit clowning around.
(writing down on the clipboard) Four more cute little old pups ready for adoption, Cooler.
Let’s just hope they’re ready to meet the evil queen of creepiness. Katrina Stoneheart.
Katrina
Welcome, doggies. Now, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. You’ll never escape from my pound! NEVER! (blowing the pups into the cage)
(meows then laughs in an evil grin)
And no one can help you, not even Cooler and his icky-poo puppy pals.
Katrina
And if Cooler’s pack shows up around here, we’ll be waiting with… the Vacuum Vortex.
Katrina
Cooler and his mongrel mob will be turned into a canine cage! (laughs evilly)
Yes, folks! It dices, it slices, and it’s only 1995! (laughs)
Uh-oh! It’s on to us, crew! Let’s hit the pain!
Katrina
Why is that bucket of boats chewing up garbage cans?
Katrina
Blasted contraption must need a tune-up. Take it back to the garage, Brattina!
Yes, sure, Mommy Dearest. Come on, Vacuum.
Sorry, Pal. I guess my invention was a bust.
But Katrina’s invention is back in action.
The Vacuum Vortex is all turned up, Mommy Dearest.
Katrina
Excellent, Brattina! Now, let’s give it a vile demonstration. Are you ready, Catgut?
We just set the gunky controls to the cat.
Katrina
And we turn it on.
Katrina
Get out of my face, you coward!
Mommy Dearest, you look scary.
Katrina
But it works, Brattina. It works! Now we can finish our Cooler and his pack of pesky pooches, for good! (laughs evilly)
Be super-duper quiet, Pal. I’ll bet the Vacuum Vortex can hear a pin drop.
All right, who dropped the pin?
Sorry! I guess my diaper drooped. Oh, how embarrassed.
Well, undroop it. Let’s get outta here!
Katrina
(laughs evilly) Oh, at last! The Vacuum Vortex is about to crush Cooler and his cronies!
Shake a leg, crew! In fact, shake all 4 legs!
Yee-haw! Ride ‘em, cowdog!
Mommy Dearest, it’s that yucky icky-poo, Cooler.
Katrina
Get him, you reckless hunk of junk! Suck him off!
Hmm. This pony ride needs a minor adjustment. R-A-T spells rat, which stands for Katrina!
Katrina
Oh! Oh, no! It’s gone berserk! Oh! Oh! Run for it!
Eww! Icky-yucky, stinky smelly cages!
Katrina
Someday, I’ll get you for this, Cooler. Someday!
And someday, Katrina may find the key to unlock a cage, but not someday soon! (laughs)
Hey, check it out. That’s the correctamundo street: Grove Avenue.
It won’t be long now, Bessie honey.
Katrina
Aha! There they are! Cooler and his mutt friend all get ahead. Full travel forward!
Katrina
No, Brattina! Watch where you’re going!
Katrina
You crud! Where did you get your driving license?
I’m only 11 years old, Mommy Dearest. I don’t have a license. In fact, I don’t even know how to drive. That’s all.
Katrina
Oh, can it, Catgut!
We’ve lost them! We’ve got Cooler and the stinky-poo doggies!
Katrina
Stop whining, Brattina! (picking up a satellite) I’ll find them with my Canine Computer. Aha!
That way! Eww! It looks creepy and icky!
Katrina
Yes. I love creepy and icky.
Don’t cry, puppies. No one’s going to hurt you.
Katrina
Holly! Get away from those filthy beasts!
But, Auntie Katrina, they’re so frightened!
Katrina
Frightened? They should be terrified! (laughs evilly) Because my pound is now equipped with… (Copter-Catcher appears up above) …the Copter-Catcher! No dog will ever escape again! (laughs evilly)
(laughs evilly) What d’you say, Catgut? Let’s give ‘em a little demonstration.
(meows and laughs evilly)
Katrina
Whoa! Brattina, you fool! Put me down!
All right, all right. Have a cow, why don’tcha!
Katrina
Whoa!
Sorry about that, Mommy Dearest.
Katrina
(angrily) You’ll be more than sorry, young lady! Fly, stay in your room! You’re grounded!
But, Mommy Dearest! (sobbing)
Katrina
Oh! Look at me! Look at me!
There weren’t any puppies in that honey, so let’s not stick around.
Yeah. She’s sticking around for everybody.
Katrina
Whoa! Brattina, you ninny! Not me! Get those dogs!
(Off-screen) I’m trying, Mommy Dearest! I’m trying!
BEBright Eyes and Whopper
(yelping)
Katrina
Ouch! Ouch! Brattina, what are you doing?! Pull up! Pull UP!
It’s been nice doing you, Bright Eyes!
We may have to put a leash on you two.
Shh! Be very very quiet. (giggles) We have to make sure Catgut is nowhere to be seen.
Remember, kids. Always put garbage in its place. (laughs)
Katrina
(laughs evilly) The next time Cooler and his mangy mutts show up around here, (laughs again) they’ll be outfoxed by the greatest invention since the paid toilet, the Rover-Roper!
Eww! Creepy! How’s it work, Mommy Dearest? How’s it work?
Katrina
Just hold on to this stuff doggy toy and see for yourself. The Rover-Roper can hunt down any mutt from 100 yards. Watch.
Oh! Make it stop, Mommy Dearest! Make it stop!
We’ll be back in 2 shakes of a pup’s tail, Cooler.
We’ll take good care of your puparoos til then. See you soon.
Help, Mommy Dearest! Help!
Katrina
With the Rover-Roper, Cooler and his pack are doomed! (laughs maniacally) What?!
Yap dog is licking me! Doggy drool! Doggy germs!
Katrina
Grab him!
Katrina
You won’t get away this time, Cooler!
Katrina
I’ve got you!
Katrina
I hate that dog. (She looks at Catgut and he begins to fire-breathe at him but he is holding the lid to stop it)
Pound Puppies (1986) · 151 quotes
