Nose Marie quotes from Pound Puppies (1986)

Psst. Hey, Bright Eyes, how about an autograph?

Cooler! Nose Marie!

Nose Marie

Shh! We don’t want to disturb the great Hollywood director.

Yeah. So tell us, kid. What’s it like being a famous actress?

Oh, it’s so boring! All I do is sit around all day waiting for my next scene to be shot.

Nose Marie

Well, your last performance got rave reviews, darling. It was in just all the papers.

(reading) “Dog steals fortunes and gems.” Oh. Oh, no! Oh, what have I done?

Upsetting, isn’t it?

I’ll say. This picture could ruin my career. Well, that settles it. I’m retiring from show business.

Eh, not quite yet, Bright Eyes. To clear your name, you have to give a final farewell performance.

Oh. Very well. I suppose I owe it to my public.

Uh, yeah. So, here’s what I want you to do, (whispering in her ear).

I like it. I like it! (giggles)

SQSammy Quentin

What? “Katrina Stoneheart buys world’s largest ruby?” I don’t believe it! My old friend Katrina! (laughing) This should be like taking candy from a baby! (laughing again) Oh, Bright Eyes, I’ve just found your next starring role! In fact, we’ll start filming tonight.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Bright Eyes, Come Home

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Nose Marie

This is a spot where we first met, Cooler dear. Don’t you find it just too, too romantic?

Flowers, candy. A moonlit boat ride. They call me a sentimental old fool. (He eats one candy) But, hey! I find it… delicious.

Nose Marie

Wouldn’t you like to sit over here next to little old me?

Why?! I can see you from here, unless you’re just trying to get back this candy you gave me.

Nose Marie

I can think of something much sweeter than candy. (chuckles)

Hey, haven’t you heard you get germs from kissing a dog?

Nose Marie

Cooler, are you going to come to my little old rescue or what?

Just doggy paddle around for a mo.

Nose Marie

Chivalry is dead.

Whoa! What have we here?

Nose Marie

A date record, that’s what.

Hey, take it easy, Shaky. You’re among friends.

Nose Marie

Sakes alive! He’ll catch his death of cold out here! We better get him back to mission control.

I’ll howl ahead. (He starts howling ahead)

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Okay, team, we’ve got just one chance to save the pound from the clutches of our rival… (flipping round the board) Katrina Stoneheart!

AAll

Ooh!

We have to score the big touchdown and find Millie’s will! Pound Puppies, let’s get pounding!

AAll

Hooray!

2, 4, 6, 8! Who do we depreciate?

HNHowler, Nose Marie and Whopper

Cooler! Cooler! Hooray!

I love a team that respects its coach. (laughs)

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Nose Marie

Alas and the lack! We’ll never find that little old will.

We’ve looked everywhere!

(popping out Howler’s hat) And we mean everywhere.

(exhausted) 2, 4, 6, 8! Can’t find the will! It’s getting late!

Don’t give up now, team. It’s always darkest before the dawn.

Nose Marie

But, Cooley honey, it’s past dawn. The rooster has already crowed his last cock-a-doodle-doo.

This is no time for chickening out, Nose Marie. We still have till 10am.

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So, Shaky, there may be a few rotten apples in this cooky place we call a world. But if you just keep your peepers aglow, you’ll find the good ones.

SShaky

That was a keen story, Cooler. And look, I’m not afraid of people anymore!

And we’re gonna find your home with people who will love you.

Nose Marie

Speaking of love, Cooler honey bunny. Sugar plum, there’s still a full moon out.

Did you just… uh, no, nose, on my lips? A whole face? You… You put on… (howls) I never knew you cared.

Nose Marie

(to Cooler) I do believe my sugar lips have missed their intended destination.

(chuckles)

Nose Marie

Bullseye! (laughs)

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But no food and no money, I’ll have to close down the pound.

Don’t worry, everybody. We’ll get by without money or food. We can live on love!

Nose Marie

(chuckles) How’s that sound to you, Cooler honey?

I’d rather have some loose change in a baloney sandwich, thank you very much.

Bye, Holly! We’re going to the dog hater’s convention! Yah!

And we won’t be back until late tonight.

So try to hose yourself up before we get back.

Aren’t we the mean ones though!

Nose Marie

(scoffs) If abate’s so terribly ladylike, I’d give Katrina’s ankle bone a severe nibbing.

Sounds like a hologram.

It’s for Whopper. Dear Nephew, stop. I’m stopping by puppy pound today for brief. Stop, stop. Your Uncle J.R. Whopper. Stop. Stop, stop.

Whopper Cries Uncle

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The sleigh’s all loaded up.

Then let’s hitch up our reindeer and hit the road! Hey, Rudolph, front and center!

Rudolph, Shmoo-Dolph! How do we get talked into these things?

AAll

Hooray!

By the way, Holly, where’d you find all these great presents to hand out?

I bought ‘em.

With what? Money. May I be so bold as to ask, perchance?

With the pound’s money!

Nose Marie

The pound’s money? You mean we had money left over after paying the bills?

What bills? We haven’t gotten any bills since July. Isn’t that wonderful?

Nose Marie

Wonderful? I’d say it’s downright fishy.

(sniffs) And it has the distinct aroma of Katrina Stoneheart.

Happy Howlidays

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Nose Marie

Eek! Eek! I say “Eek!”

And throw in an extra eek for me!

HBHowler and Bright Eyes

Help!

It’s a genious houstin… a sizzling roasted… uh… (howls) It’s a great big spook!

Nose Marie

Oh, sakes alive! Is there no one who can save us from this fate worse than a flea bath?!

There’s no need to fear. Wonder Whopper is here, along with the world’s greatest ghost hounder, Biff-Barker! This is my hero cos he’s so brave.

AAll

Eww!

BBBiff-Barker

No ghost can scare Biff-Barker.

Oh, what a guy!

And that’s the story of how we were all rescued by Wonder Whopper and Biff Barker the world’s greatest ghost hounder.

Nose Marie

Whopper, where do you dream up all this nonsense about Biff Barker?

But there’s not nonsense! He’s a star of the ghost hounder’s TV show.

And I’m an official member… No. The treasure… Oh. The president of the Biff Barker fan club. Yeah. (pushing the lever down and all his things come out) Biff Barker’s an honest-to-goodness real ghost hounder and my hero!

Hmm. I wonder if Biff Barker ever ran into the ghost of the Terrible Terrier!

(chuckles) Ghost of the Terrible Terrier?

Yes! The ghost of the Terrible Terrier! Late at night, you can hear a moan.

A ghoulish, gruesome, ghastly groan. He calls “I’ll get you! I’ll get you! I’ll get you!”

Boo!

We got him good with that one, Cooler!

We’ve already scared them enough, Cooler. Don’t overdo it.

That wasn’t me.

It’s the Terrible Terrier!

Well, it ain’t rimp tin tin!

TTThe Terrible Terrier

Pound Puppies! Be gone from here by midnight tomorrow, or else!

Or else what, doggy breath?

(to Whopper) You had to ask.

Ghost Hounders

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Whoa! What’s going on, gang?

We’re baking the worst… Uh, faking the first… (howls) taking the first bus outta here.

Nose Marie

That’s right. We’re not staying here one more little old minute with that drooling ghostly glob.

He may be a drooling ghostly glob, but we can lick him!

Nose Marie

Cooler, that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

But Cooler’s right! We can’t just leave! We gotta stick together and fight! (cheering) To the cover dance on cinnamon toast! Pound Puppies, Pound Puppies, beat the ghost!

Nose Marie

I take it back. That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

Come on, crew! We’ll show that Terrible Terrier who can’t push us around!

Yeah, and I know just the guy who can help us!

Ghost Hounders

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Nose Marie

So, that’s where Katrina was packing us off to. Why, that woman’s nothing more than a…

Nose Marie

That’s what she is!

Ooh, please! Nose Marie, try to clean up your language!

Nose Marie

Oh, well, pardon my little ol’ peaches.

Ghost Hounders

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We were so busy with Cheep-Cheep. We almost forgot to find Schap a home.

Nose Marie

Your new masters are waiting, Schap honey.

Hey, guys. Nice job! And like I always say “May birds and dogs of a feather flock together.” (laughs)

AAll

Yay!

Cheep, cheep, cheep!

CCCheep-Cheep

(tweeting in a barking way)

(laughs) I couldn’t have said it better myself. (laughs)

The Bird Dog

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Nose Marie

(writing down on the clipboard) Four more cute little old pups ready for adoption, Cooler.

Let’s just hope they’re ready to meet the evil queen of creepiness. Katrina Stoneheart.

Howdy, guys.

AAll

Howdy, Holly.

Welcome, doggies. Now, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. You’ll never escape from my pound! NEVER! (blowing the pups into the cage)

Catgut

(meows then laughs in an evil grin)

And no one can help you, not even Cooler and his icky-poo puppy pals.

Golly gee!

That’s us!

And if Cooler’s pack shows up around here, we’ll be waiting with… the Vacuum Vortex.

FPFour Puppies

Yipe!

Cooler and his mongrel mob will be turned into a canine cage! (laughs evilly)

Yes, folks! It dices, it slices, and it’s only 1995! (laughs)

Uh-oh! It’s on to us, crew! Let’s hit the pain!

Why is that bucket of boats chewing up garbage cans?

Maybe it’s hungry.

Blasted contraption must need a tune-up. Take it back to the garage, Brattina!

Yes, sure, Mommy Dearest. Come on, Vacuum.

Tail of the Pup

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Don’t worry, puppies. You have more friends here than you think.

Forget about Katrina, pups and puppets. We have some tail wagging good news. So listen up.

Nose Marie

We’re gonna find each and every one of you.

A hap-hap-happy home!

FPFour Puppies

Yeah!

By Jove, Pal, old chap! What’s wrong with your tail? It should be wagging.

I don’t know. My tail never wags.

It never wags?

NMNose Marie and Cooler

It never wags?

It never wags. And no one wants to adopt the pup whose tail won’t wag.

Nose Marie

(picking him up) Now don’t you worry your cute little old head, Pal, dear.

Because we’re gonna fix your wagger.

And for emergencies like this, who do you call? Young Doctor Whopper!

What do you make of it, doc?

I think it’s a tail.

That much we know, but why won’t it wag?

Its batteries must be worn out, but I think we’ll have to operate.

Operate? What for?

To install a new tail.

(chuckles) You’re barking up the wrong tree, Whopper.

Nose Marie

Pal doesn’t need a new tail. He needs a reason to wag his own tail.

So, let’s give him a reason. Let’s cheer up this pup!

Oh, oh! Cheering up is my specialty!

Nose Marie

Then, Bright Eyes, do your stuff!

All right! (picking Pal up on her head) Come on, Pal! Quit your dragging! It’s time to set your tail wagon. Let’s have fun. No more gloom. Welcome to the Rumpus Room.

Wow, wow! (watching the pups having fun)

This is where we pups gotta wag our tails and have a flash. So let’s blast off!

BEBright Eyes and Pal

Whee!

(laughing as her tail wags)

(laughs) Oh, cats! It’s still not wagging. Let’s face it. It’ll never wag.