Good evening, Holly dear. How did adoption day go?
HollyVery well, Auntie Katrina.
Did you make enough money to pay your electric bill, ha, did ya? Ha, ha. Did ya?
Holly
As a matter of fact, Brattina, we made more than enough. Take a look for yourself… (She notices that the money is gone) What? The money! It’s gone!
Holly
(Off-screen) It’s not here! The money’s gone!
Oh, that’s too, too bad, Holly. Now what are you going to do?
Holly
I-I don’t know.
Well, you better think of something, dear. Because if that bill isn’t paid in one week, I’m afraid you’ll lose the pound…to me!
And this is where you’ll stay until some nice person comes to adopt you.
SShaky
(gasps) Person? Uh-uh. No way, Jose. I’m not going near any one of those people things.
Holly
Uh, is he okay?
Holly
Uh, don’t be afraid. I’m not gonna hurt you.
Shaky, hey, hey! Mellow out, kid! It’s just Holly. What’s your beef?
SShaky
It-It’s those bad humans. You can’t trust them.
Holly
Yeah, I know what you mean. We don’t trust the bad ones, either.
SShaky
You-You-You don’t?
Of course not! But not every human is bad. So listen up and dig this dog tale about one of the good ones.
(voiceover) In a few shakes of a dog’s tail, Millie’s house became the haven for homeless canines. But while this party was the coolest, there was a certain party down the street. Her name strikes fear into sane dogs everywhere, Katrina Stoneheart, along with her poor excuse for a pet, Catgut, (Catgut meows) and her nyah-nyah daughter, Brattina.
Mommy Dearest, those awful dogs are barking again! Make them stop, Mommy Dearest! Make them stop!
I CAN’T STAND IT! Oh -ho-ho-ho! Oh! (tearing a paper) Oh, I hate the sound of dogs. I hate the smell of dogs. I hate the eyes, ears, noses and even the tails of dogs.
(singing) We hate the doggies! We hate the doggies!
I’ll figure out a way to make great-great aunt Millie get rid of these dogs, or I’ll just scream! (poking Brattina’s nose) Now, Brattina, go do your chores!
But, Mommy Dearest! That’s why we let Holly live here.
So, it is. So, it is. Holly!
Holly
Good afternoon, Auntie Katrina. Good afternoon, Brattina.
KBKatrina and Brattina
Blah! Blah!
I’m going down to Millie Trueblood’s house. Your chores better be down when I get back.
Holly
Yes, ma’am! (She leaves)
Holly is so cute. I hate cute! I put cute in the blender.
(voiceover) Holly took care of us for the next few days, but we were all in the dumps, ooh, especially Howler.
(voiceover) Then all of a sudden, things went from bad to pit city.
(laughs evilly) Well, Holly, it looks like all your cute little puppy friends will have to find a new place to live.
Holly
What do you mean, Auntie Katrina?
It’s perfectly simple, my dear. My aunt Millie didn’t leave a will. So, her estate, the house and this flea trap will automatically go to her next of kin namely me.
(singing) We’re gonna be rich! We’re gonna be rich!
Holly
But why can’t the puppies stay here?
Because I am going to tear down this dump and put up condos! (laughs evilly)
So, Shaky, there may be a few rotten apples in this cooky place we call a world. But if you just keep your peepers aglow, you’ll find the good ones.
SShaky
That was a keen story, Cooler. And look, I’m not afraid of people anymore!
Holly
And we’re gonna find your home with people who will love you.
Speaking of love, Cooler honey bunny. Sugar plum, there’s still a full moon out.
Did you just… uh, no, nose, on my lips? A whole face? You… You put on… (howls) I never knew you cared.
(to Cooler) I do believe my sugar lips have missed their intended destination.
Holly
But no food and no money, I’ll have to close down the pound.
Don’t worry, everybody. We’ll get by without money or food. We can live on love!
(chuckles) How’s that sound to you, Cooler honey?
I’d rather have some loose change in a baloney sandwich, thank you very much.
Bye, Holly! We’re going to the dog hater’s convention! Yah!
And we won’t be back until late tonight.
So try to hose yourself up before we get back.
Aren’t we the mean ones though!
(scoffs) If abate’s so terribly ladylike, I’d give Katrina’s ankle bone a severe nibbing.
It’s for Whopper. Dear Nephew, stop. I’m stopping by puppy pound today for brief. Stop, stop. Your Uncle J.R. Whopper. Stop. Stop, stop.
Ah! Oh, a day on the beach has worked wonders for me, girls.
Holly
You do seem more relaxed, Auntie Katrina.
Oh, I am, Holly. I feel like all my Pap-puppy troubles are behind me.
Puppies! Puppies! Lots and lots of puppies!
Holly
Cooler?
We’ll explain later, Holly! Ciao for now!
Puppies! Puppies! (howls)
Holly
The sleigh’s all loaded up.
Then let’s hitch up our reindeer and hit the road! Hey, Rudolph, front and center!
Rudolph, Shmoo-Dolph! How do we get talked into these things?
By the way, Holly, where’d you find all these great presents to hand out?
Holly
I bought ‘em.
With what? Money. May I be so bold as to ask, perchance?
Holly
With the pound’s money!
The pound’s money? You mean we had money left over after paying the bills?
Holly
What bills? We haven’t gotten any bills since July. Isn’t that wonderful?
Wonderful? I’d say it’s downright fishy.
(sniffs) And it has the distinct aroma of Katrina Stoneheart.
Holly
Closed? But how can you close the pound?
CWChief Williams
I’m sorry to do this on Christmas Eve, Holly, but the pound is so behind in its bills. Well, I just had to close it down. I’m very sorry.
Holly
What bills is he talking about? We didn’t get any bills.
This may be your answer coming down the street.
I have a Christmas present for you. Five months of overdue bills! You can possibly pay them! (laughs evilly)
(singing) Yah-yah! Read ‘em and weep!
Holly
I can’t believe this!
Well, it’s true. Now come home, young lady. You’re going straight to bed.
Holly
No! I wanna stay with the puppies!
Too bad! You’re coming home this instant!
Holly
No, you can’t do this! Please, Auntie Katrina! Please!
Holly
Oh, puppies! It looks like Santa’s been here, and these love presents for everyone! A million, a billion… A kazillion presents! Yeah!
Psst. Kitty, want some warm milk?
(to the audience) Well, you can’t expect every episode to end with a joke. Happy Holidays, kids!
And throw in an extra eek for me!
HBHowler and Bright Eyes
Help!
It’s a genious houstin… a sizzling roasted… uh… (howls) It’s a great big spook!
Oh, sakes alive! Is there no one who can save us from this fate worse than a flea bath?!
There’s no need to fear. Wonder Whopper is here, along with the world’s greatest ghost hounder, Biff-Barker! This is my hero cos he’s so brave.
BBBiff-Barker
No ghost can scare Biff-Barker.
And that’s the story of how we were all rescued by Wonder Whopper and Biff Barker the world’s greatest ghost hounder.
Whopper, where do you dream up all this nonsense about Biff Barker?
But there’s not nonsense! He’s a star of the ghost hounder’s TV show.
And I’m an official member… No. The treasure… Oh. The president of the Biff Barker fan club. Yeah. (pushing the lever down and all his things come out) Biff Barker’s an honest-to-goodness real ghost hounder and my hero!
Hmm. I wonder if Biff Barker ever ran into the ghost of the Terrible Terrier!
(chuckles) Ghost of the Terrible Terrier?
Holly
Yes! The ghost of the Terrible Terrier! Late at night, you can hear a moan.
A ghoulish, gruesome, ghastly groan. He calls “I’ll get you! I’ll get you! I’ll get you!”
Holly
We got him good with that one, Cooler!
Holly
We’ve already scared them enough, Cooler. Don’t overdo it.
Holly
It’s the Terrible Terrier!
Well, it ain’t rimp tin tin!
TTThe Terrible Terrier
Pound Puppies! Be gone from here by midnight tomorrow, or else!
Or else what, doggy breath?
(to Whopper) You had to ask.
(singing) Holly believes in ghosts! Holly believes in ghosts! Only fools believe in ghouls! Holly believes in ghosts!
Oh, Holly. Of all the silly willy stories.
Holly
But it’s true, Auntie Katrina! It was a real ghost and he warned us to leave the pound by midnight tonight!
Now, now, Holly. You probably just had a nightmare. We all know there are no such things as ghosts. Oh! Well, ta-ta, girls. I’m off.
TTThe Terrible Terrier
(roars)
TTThe Terrible Terrier
I warn you! Be gone by midnight, or else!
It’s gone, Mommy Dearest. The disgusting icky-poo ghost is gone.
And so are we! We’re moving out of this house by tonight.
Holly
Move? But what about my Puppies?
Who cares about your icky-poo puppies?
Now, now, Brattina, Holly cares very much for those, those hideous mongrels. Oh, well, I suppose we could all move, Holly. The puppies too.
Holly
You mean it, Auntie Katrina? The puppies can come with us?
Yes, dear, if that’s what you want.
Holly
Gosh! Thanks, Auntie Katrina! This is wonderful!
You don’t know the half of it, girlie. (laughs evilly)
Oh, Dr. Simon. Please do come in and give the puppies their painful shots.
(singing) Give the dogs a shot! Make them cry a lot! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Lots of painful shots!
SDr. Simon
Actually, the shots aren’t that painful. The dogs will barely feel a thing.
SDr. Simon
All right, Holly, I’m ready. Would you please bring me the dogs? All the dogs.
Holly
Sure thing, Dr. Simon. Let’s go, puppies. Shot time.
(writing down on the clipboard) Four more cute little old pups ready for adoption, Cooler.
Let’s just hope they’re ready to meet the evil queen of creepiness. Katrina Stoneheart.
Holly
Howdy, guys.
Welcome, doggies. Now, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. You’ll never escape from my pound! NEVER! (blowing the pups into the cage)
(meows then laughs in an evil grin)
And no one can help you, not even Cooler and his icky-poo puppy pals.
And if Cooler’s pack shows up around here, we’ll be waiting with… the Vacuum Vortex.
Cooler and his mongrel mob will be turned into a canine cage! (laughs evilly)
Yes, folks! It dices, it slices, and it’s only 1995! (laughs)
Uh-oh! It’s on to us, crew! Let’s hit the pain!
Why is that bucket of boats chewing up garbage cans?
Blasted contraption must need a tune-up. Take it back to the garage, Brattina!
Yes, sure, Mommy Dearest. Come on, Vacuum.
Pound Puppies (1986) · 151 quotes
