Cooler quotes from Pound Puppies (1986)

Cooler

My fellow pound puppies, we have met the enemy and he is ugly! But remember, we have nothing to fear, but things that go “Booga-booga-booga!” In conclusion, we must fight this ghost to the bitter end! Are you with me, Pound Puppies?!

Cooler

Yeah, I take it that means no.

Cooler

Excuse me? Is this the meeting of alley cat’s anonymous?

Bright Eyes

Cooler!

Cooler

Oh, and I see you started the festivities without me. Rats! I miss all the fun! (giggles)

Cooler

Oh, oh, really? Bright Eyes and I would just love to stay in party with you, kitties, except the… Hey! We’re allergic to catnip! (giggles) Ciao for now! But let’s do lunch real soon, gang!

Bright Eyes

Aww, thanks, Cooler. You saved my life.

Cooler

(laughs) Anytime, Bright Eyes! Anytime! But just tell me one thing. Where have you been?! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!

Bright Eyes

I’m sorry, Cooler. I’ve just been out wandering around, hoping to find myself a home. I sure wish somebody would adopt me.

Cooler

And as fearless leader of the Pound Puppies. It’s my swarm duty to help this pup get adopted into a hap-hap-happy home!

Bright Eyes

(giggles) Cooler, you’re a coup!

Cooler

And so the heroic crook carries the fair damsel dog in distress back to the puppy pound, where a big surprise is awaiting her! She may find a new home yet because deli people from all over are coming to the pound to adopt… Pound Puppies!

Cooler

Psst. Hey, Bright Eyes, how about an autograph?

Bright Eyes

Cooler! Nose Marie!

Nose Marie

Shh! We don’t want to disturb the great Hollywood director.

Cooler

Yeah. So tell us, kid. What’s it like being a famous actress?

Bright Eyes

Oh, it’s so boring! All I do is sit around all day waiting for my next scene to be shot.

Nose Marie

Well, your last performance got rave reviews, darling. It was in just all the papers.

Bright Eyes

(reading) “Dog steals fortunes and gems.” Oh. Oh, no! Oh, what have I done?

Cooler

Upsetting, isn’t it?

Bright Eyes

I’ll say. This picture could ruin my career. Well, that settles it. I’m retiring from show business.

Cooler

Eh, not quite yet, Bright Eyes. To clear your name, you have to give a final farewell performance.

Bright Eyes

Oh. Very well. I suppose I owe it to my public.

Cooler

Uh, yeah. So, here’s what I want you to do, (whispering in her ear).

Bright Eyes

I like it. I like it! (giggles)

What? “Katrina Stoneheart buys world’s largest ruby?” I don’t believe it! My old friend Katrina! (laughing) This should be like taking candy from a baby! (laughing again) Oh, Bright Eyes, I’ve just found your next starring role! In fact, we’ll start filming tonight.

Bright Eyes

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Nose Marie

This is a spot where we first met, Cooler dear. Don’t you find it just too, too romantic?

Cooler

Flowers, candy. A moonlit boat ride. They call me a sentimental old fool. (He eats one candy) But, hey! I find it… delicious.

Nose Marie

Wouldn’t you like to sit over here next to little old me?

Cooler

Why?! I can see you from here, unless you’re just trying to get back this candy you gave me.

Nose Marie

I can think of something much sweeter than candy. (chuckles)

Cooler

Hey, haven’t you heard you get germs from kissing a dog?

Nose Marie

Cooler, are you going to come to my little old rescue or what?

Cooler

Just doggy paddle around for a mo.

Nose Marie

Chivalry is dead.

Cooler

Whoa! What have we here?

Nose Marie

A date record, that’s what.

Cooler

Hey, take it easy, Shaky. You’re among friends.

Nose Marie

Sakes alive! He’ll catch his death of cold out here! We better get him back to mission control.

Cooler

I’ll howl ahead. (He starts howling ahead)

Bright Eyes

And this is where you’ll stay until some nice person comes to adopt you.

(gasps) Person? Uh-uh. No way, Jose. I’m not going near any one of those people things.

Holly

Uh, is he okay?

(whimpers)

Holly

Uh, don’t be afraid. I’m not gonna hurt you.

Cooler

Shaky, hey, hey! Mellow out, kid! It’s just Holly. What’s your beef?

It-It’s those bad humans. You can’t trust them.

Holly

Yeah, I know what you mean. We don’t trust the bad ones, either.

You-You-You don’t?

Cooler

Of course not! But not every human is bad. So listen up and dig this dog tale about one of the good ones.

Cooler

Millie, what do you think you’re doing?

Millicent

I’m washing the dishes. Why?

Cooler

You’ve got to stop working so hard, sweetheart. You look tired.

Millicent

I do?

Cooler

Absolutamente! What you need is a maid.

Howler

Thanks for not embarrassing me.

Millicent

(chuckles) Merciful heavens! He’s just the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!

Cooler

Then he can stay on as your mate?

Millicent

Oh, ho! Anything! (chuckles) Anything!

Cooler

Good!

Cooler

Now, how about the butler, the gardener and the chauffeur?

Cooler

(voiceover) In a few shakes of a dog’s tail, Millie’s house became the haven for homeless canines. But while this party was the coolest, there was a certain party down the street. Her name strikes fear into sane dogs everywhere, Katrina Stoneheart, along with her poor excuse for a pet, Catgut, (Catgut meows) and her nyah-nyah daughter, Brattina.

Brattina

Mommy Dearest, those awful dogs are barking again! Make them stop, Mommy Dearest! Make them stop!

Katrina

I CAN’T STAND IT! Oh -ho-ho-ho! Oh! (tearing a paper) Oh, I hate the sound of dogs. I hate the smell of dogs. I hate the eyes, ears, noses and even the tails of dogs.

Brattina

(singing) We hate the doggies! We hate the doggies!

Katrina

I’ll figure out a way to make great-great aunt Millie get rid of these dogs, or I’ll just scream! (poking Brattina’s nose) Now, Brattina, go do your chores!

Brattina

But, Mommy Dearest! That’s why we let Holly live here.

Katrina

So, it is. So, it is. Holly!

Holly

Good afternoon, Auntie Katrina. Good afternoon, Brattina.

Blah! Blah!

Catgut

(meows)

Katrina

I’m going down to Millie Trueblood’s house. Your chores better be down when I get back.

Holly

Yes, ma’am! (She leaves)

Katrina

Holly is so cute. I hate cute! I put cute in the blender.

Millicent

Now who could that be? (gasps) Why hello, Katrina.

Katrina

Don’t give me any of that sweet stuff, great Aunt Millicent! This is the showdown!

Catgut

(meows)

Millicent

What’s this?

Katrina

Oh, just something from the Board of Health. Forcing you to get rid of these mangy mutts once and for all! (laughs evilly)

Cooler

(voiceover) So that rotten Katrina Stoneheart was gonna force us pups out into the street and there was nothing Millie could do about it.

Howler

(howling nervously)

Cooler

(voiceover) As it turned out, Millie couldn’t hang on much longer.

Millicent

Cooler, I love you all very much, but the time has come for me to go.

Cooler

(sadly) Oh. Hey, quit clowning, Millie. What’ll we do without you?

Millicent

Don’t worry, my dears. With puppy power, I’ll always be with you. If not in my bedside memories.

Cooler

(voiceover) And so, at the age of 101 years old, Millie Trueblood went on to her great reward. She was truly a dog’s best friend.

Howler

(sadly howling)

Cooler

(voiceover) Holly took care of us for the next few days, but we were all in the dumps, ooh, especially Howler.

Howler

I’m so depressed.

Cooler

(voiceover) Then all of a sudden, things went from bad to pit city.

Katrina

(laughs evilly) Well, Holly, it looks like all your cute little puppy friends will have to find a new place to live.

Holly

What do you mean, Auntie Katrina?

Katrina

It’s perfectly simple, my dear. My aunt Millie didn’t leave a will. So, her estate, the house and this flea trap will automatically go to her next of kin namely me.

Brattina

(singing) We’re gonna be rich! We’re gonna be rich!

Holly

But why can’t the puppies stay here?

Katrina

Because I am going to tear down this dump and put up condos! (laughs evilly)

Cooler

Okay, team, we’ve got just one chance to save the pound from the clutches of our rival… (flipping round the board) Katrina Stoneheart!

Ooh!

Cooler

We have to score the big touchdown and find Millie’s will! Pound Puppies, let’s get pounding!

Hooray!

Bright Eyes

2, 4, 6, 8! Who do we depreciate?

Cooler! Cooler! Hooray!

Cooler

I love a team that respects its coach. (laughs)

Nose Marie

Alas and the lack! We’ll never find that little old will.

Howler

We’ve looked everywhere!

Whopper

(popping out Howler’s hat) And we mean everywhere.

Bright Eyes

(exhausted) 2, 4, 6, 8! Can’t find the will! It’s getting late!

Cooler

Don’t give up now, team. It’s always darkest before the dawn.

Nose Marie

But, Cooley honey, it’s past dawn. The rooster has already crowed his last cock-a-doodle-doo.

Cooler

This is no time for chickening out, Nose Marie. We still have till 10am.

Cooler

So, Shaky, there may be a few rotten apples in this cooky place we call a world. But if you just keep your peepers aglow, you’ll find the good ones.

That was a keen story, Cooler. And look, I’m not afraid of people anymore!

Holly

And we’re gonna find your home with people who will love you.

Nose Marie

Speaking of love, Cooler honey bunny. Sugar plum, there’s still a full moon out.

Howler

Did you just… uh, no, nose, on my lips? A whole face? You… You put on… (howls) I never knew you cared.

Nose Marie

(to Cooler) I do believe my sugar lips have missed their intended destination.

Cooler

(chuckles)

Nose Marie

Bullseye! (laughs)

Holly

So that’s her plan! She’s gonna close us down and put up condos.

Cooler

Not if we can help it. Come on, Buster. Your tornado act might come in handy.

Certainly!