Cooler quotes from Pound Puppies (1986)

Cooler

Well, what do you pups have to say for yourselves?

I never did get to lick the spoon.

Did too!

Nuh-uh! You took it all!

Nose Marie

This calls for drastic action.

Holly

I’ll bet we can straighten these guys out in the Hall of Puppy Power.

Cooler

Then let’s pop on down there, pronto.

Holly

Candy, Mandy and Andy, this is where we can help you and your mum and papa find a home.

Cooler

All you need to do is concentrate.

Holly

And a beautiful puppy power vision of your new master will appear.

I wanna live with a little boy.

Not me! I wanna live with a little girl.

I want a boy.

No, a girl.

No, boy!

Girl!

Boy! Girl!

Boy!

Girl!

Girl, boy, boy, boy!

Uh-oh! What happened?

Cooler

Disaster city! You’ve broken puppy power!

We did?

Whopper

Why not? They’ve broken everything else in the place.

We’re sorry.

What about our new home?

Cooler

Well, since you pups don’t get along, it looks like we’ll have to split you up into 3 different homes.

No! You can’t split us up!

Who could we play with?

Nose Marie

Well, maybe there is one little old possibility.

What?

Cooler

If you knuckle hounds can get together and use a little teamwork, we may be able to fix puppy power and find you a home.

We’ll do it.

We promise to be good and get along.

And we’ll live with a boy or a girl.

Or both.

Holly

Puppy power is working again!

Wow. A farm!

That looks neato!

And that’s going to be our new home.

Bright Eyes

Well, thanks to a little bit of teamwork. Candy, Mandy and Andy are just jim-dandy.

Cooler

And when it comes to teamwork, we Pound Puppies are our winning team.

(cheering) We are No. 1, hey! We are No. 1, hey! We are No. 1, HEY!

Katrina

Quiet, you walking free bark! (letting them out of the truck) And stop frolicking. I hate frolicking. Now get your tails in those cages!

Katrina

And I never want to see or hear any one of you dogs again.

(barks)

Katrina

Wha? Runaway pup! Sick him, Brattina!

Brattina

Eww! Come back here, you stinky smelly pup!

Brattina

Oh! Oh!

Yipe!

Katrina

You’re going to get it for this, dog! Not even Cooler can help you!

Cooler

That’s what she thinks!

Nose Marie

Game time, puppy dumplings! (releasing the puppies)

Cooler

And here’s the kick-off-a-rooney! (kicking the football in the air)

Bright Eyes

(cheering) Pushing back! Pushing back! Way back!

Katrina

What in the…?

Brattina

Yuck! Help, Mommy Dearest! They’re getting doggy drool all over me! Eww!

Whopper

(blowing his whistle) Drool, little ferret!

Cooler

Relax, fella. Katrina fumbled the ball. We win!

Brattina

Ahh!

Cooler

Well, this game’s history, team. Let’s hit the showers!

Cooler

Welcome to the ever popular Pound Puppy Mission Control. I’m Cooler the top dog in charge of finding you a hap-hap-happy home.

Oh. Uh, hi. I’m Buddy. And that’s Bob.

Cooler

How do… H… Who? Where?

Bob, my invisible friend. He made that lady mad up there.

Cooler

Ah, I see! Well, I-I don’t see but, uh… Hey! Give me five, Bob.

Ha ha! You’re shaking his tail! Hey! Something smells yummy! (sniffs)

Cooler

(sniffs as well) Absotutely! That’s Nose Marie’s cooking! Hey! Let’s check it out! Uh, come on, Bob.

No. Bob’s over here with me.

Cooler

Well, I can’t help it. All invisible things look alike to me.

Cooler

Nose Marie, this is Buddy. And, uh, somewhere around here is his invisible friend Bob.

Nose Marie

Invisible? Now there’s something you don’t see every day or any day.

Cooler

Well, I’ll leave the three of you to get to know each other. I’ll be seeing ya except for Bob, that is.

What are these?

Nose Marie

Chocolate chip dog treats and I have just enough batter to make you one.

(Off-screen) Gee! Doesn’t Bob get one too?

Nose Marie

Tell you what, darling. I’ll make him an invisible one, okay?

Nose Marie

Oh, no!

Bob was hungry and ate all the biscuits, so I tried to make some more real quick. (burps) ‘Scuse me.

Nose Marie

Just look at this mess!

Yeah. Uh, and if I were you, I’d make Bob clean it up. Bye!

Nose Marie

Buddy! Buddy! His story is like an invisible dog biscuit. Hard to swallow.

Whopper

Sorry, guys.

Nose Marie

Aw. It’s alright, Whopper dear. I think everything’s back in order.

Cooler

Everything but what to do about Buddy’s invisible friend Bob.

Nose Marie

But he just has to learn to take the blame for his own mistakes.

Cooler

Whoa! Brainstorm city! We’ll teach this new pup some old tricks, by making that invisible problem-o, poof… disappear.

So this is the Hall of Puppy Power. What happens now?

Cooler

Just watch.

Wow, wow!

Cooler

It’s every pup’s dream come true. A happy home and loving master.

Hey, that’s me! And who’s that? Is that gonna be my master?

Nose Marie

(Off-screen) Well, maybe. But if a puppy does things like snitching cookies.

Bright Eyes

(Off-screen) Or playing practical jokes.

Whopper

(Off-screen) Or fooling with things he shouldn’t.

Cooler

That puppy will never get a master. It’ll be a pound bound hound.

Nose Marie

You see, Buddy, we know you did all those things and we know Bob isn’t real.

What? He is too real and he’s a better friend than any of you guys. (storming off)

Cooler

Whoa. Took it pretty hard.

(Off-screen) Well, you are kinda rough on him.

Huh?

(becoming visible) After all, he does believe in me. He wasn’t lying on purpose.

Cooler

B-B-B-B-B-Bob?

Nose Marie

I don’t believe it!

Bright Eyes

And you can talk!

Whopper

And you’re a dinosaur! Neato!

What were you expecting? A giant bunny rabbit?

Cooler

Hey. Quit yanking my leash. You’re not real. So, uh, how can we see you?

Puppy Power made me visible. Up till now, I’ve only lived in Buddy’s mind. You see, Buddy’s been all alone since he was born. So he made me up. We play together, but I’m just pretend. Buddy needs a real friend.

Nose Marie

Somewhere, there must be a boy who needs a friend like Buddy.

You know, I have a cousin who’s the make-believe friend of a lonely boy named Colin.

Cooler

Ooh! Tell us everything, Bob-a-loo.

Well, you see, Colin was that something that was about… (whispers)

Nose Marie

Yoo-hoo, Buddy? Where are you, dumpling?

(Off-screen) In here, guys!

Cooler

Whoa! What’s shaking, kiddo?

I just cooked up some dog biscuits.

Nose Marie

What on earth for?

For you, guys. After I ate the ones Nose Marie made, it’s the least I could do.

Oh!

Cooler

Mmm. Extra salty.

It’s my way of saying sorry for all the stuff I did wrong. And as for Bob, he’s not really real. He’s just pretend.

Cooler

We know all about it.

(becoming visible) I filled him in, Buddy.

Bob!

Cooler

And now, Buddy, my buddy, it’s time to take you to meet your new master. Pound Puppies, let’s start pounding!

Oh, boy, you got to get a master.

Cooler

Uh-oh, a pupscalator jam. We gotta push him through! Buddy’s up here all alone!

Whopper

Uh! Why did Buddy have to have such a big imagination?

Katrina

Now, with these new padlocks, I’m going to lock you pups away forever.

Brattina

Eww, look, Mommy Dearest! It’s that yucky runaway dog!

Katrina

Gotcha!

Yipe!

1, 2, 3.

Brattina

Nothing can save the icky-poo troublemaking bow-wow now.

Katrina

Oh, no! It-It feels like an earthquake!

Oh!

Brattina

What is that, Mommy Dearest?

Katrina

I don’t know, but it’s not getting in here!

Cooler

That should teach Katrina not to be so cagey. (laughs)

Pretty funny comic, huh, Sam?

(laughs) I’ll say. There they are.

Hey, Sam.

Hiya, Bob. (He comes to see Bob) Yeah, I’ve been expecting you, guys.

Is that him? My new master? Oh, I’m so nervous. Do you think you’ll like me?

Only one way to find out.

(barks)

Sam. Sam, where are you? Hey, where’d you come from? Well, don’t be afraid. Come here, boy. Come to Colin.

(referring to Colin and Buddy) What do you know? They’re playing.

(barks)

Nose Marie

A match made in Puppy Heaven.

Sit, boy. Good dog. Now, wait here a second. Hey, mum! Can I keep a puppy?

Hey, Bob. He likes me. Just wait till he meets you.

Oh, but I can’t stay here, Buddy.

What do you mean? We’re a team, best friends. Where I go, you’ll go.

Mum said yes. I could keep you. Hey, where’d the puppy go?

Cooler

This is your big chance for a real home, Buddy.

And I don’t wanna see you lose it. Go on. (He pushes Buddy back in)

But what do you do?

We’ll be invisible friends to other lonely pups and kids. And remember, Buddy, anytime you think of me, I’ll be right here.

Here or here?

Right here. (He hugs Buddy)

Thanks, Pound Puppies.

Cooler

Hey, don’t mention it, pal.

Where’d my little Buddy go? Here, Buddy!

(barks)

Hiya, Buddy!

Well, not alone anymore. Time for us to go, Sam.

Cooler

And, uh, when you find those lonely kids and puppies, you know where to send them.

Goodbye, Sam.

Bye, Bob.

Howler

Ah, oh! There she blows! Katrina! Off the starboard bow!

Katrina

Silly confounded contraption!

Holly

She’s looking the other way. Now’s our chance.

Cooler

(to the children) It’s with puparoos. Let the escape-a-rooney begin.

Katrina

(laughs evilly) At last! The Cage Catapult is ready for action. Cooler and his canines won’t get away next time!

Brattina

All right. All ready with the gunky gizmo, Mommy Dearest. Come and see all the stinky puppies we caught. Now!

Katrina

Oh all right, Brattina! Show me the dogs. How many miserable mongrels did you catch?

Brattina

Almost a hundred icky-poo smelly dogs.

Katrina

A hundred dogs?! Why, Brattina, I could kiss you!

Brattina

Eww! Gross. No thanks. I’d rather have a Suzy Spit-up Doll.

Katrina

For a hundred dogs, I’ll get you a dozen Suzy Spit-up Dolls. (But she realizes that the dogs are gone) What?! These cages are empty!

Brattina

(Off-screen) No, no, no! They were loaded with icky-poo stink old dogs!

Katrina

(Angry with her) Play games with me, will you, young lady? Just for this: You can kiss that Suzy Spit-up Doll goodbye!

Brattina

(cries)

Cooler, how soon are you gonna get Blue and me adopted?

Cooler

Oh, gee. I don’t know. (sighs) Maybe after we’re through watching TV.

I hate it here. Everything’s broken or dirty. Nobody does any chores!

Cooler

Absotutely. You don’t do chores. We don’t do chores.

I do so. I mean I will. I mean that is…

(sighs) I guess I don’t. Sorry, Cooler. Ah, but why can’t chores be fun?

Cooler

Hey. Maybe you’re onto something, kiddo. Let’s give it the old pound puppy try.

Well, maybe chores can’t always be fun, but I’m gonna do my shift from now on. You know, guys, I think there’s something I should tell you.

Cooler

No time for that now, Jerry. Let’s get you to your new home.

Cooler

Here it is!

Bright Eyes

Your nifty new home!

Holly

With some folks who really want you.

But that’s my old house.

Jerry, you’re late. Oh, we were so worried.

Mom, dad! It’s great to be home! Oh! And this is Blue. He’s from the puppy pound. Can I keep him?

Well, I don’t wanna wind up being the one who takes care of him.

Don’t worry, dad. I promise I’ll do all my chores from now on, and that includes taking care of Blue.

Okay then, Blue. Welcome to the family.

Cooler

Well, gang, our chores are done, and you know what that means?

Time to have fun!

Katrina

A little further. Yes, yes, a little further. Y… Ah, ah, ah. Hold it right there.

Brattina

What are those stinky bricks for, Mommy Dearest?

Katrina

(looking at the security pound on the paper) To build my new maximum security pound. This wall will stop Cooler and his motely mutt cold, like being hit with a ton of bricks.

Brattina

Oh! Just kill me already, why don’tcha!

Catgut

(meows)

Cooler

Oh, brother! Get a load of what the bad guys are up to this time.

Katrina

(singing) I’ve been putting up the brick wall

Brattina

(singing) She’s cementing up the brick wall

Katrina

(singing) Locking up the mutts we had

Brattina

(singing) Cooler and screams are shouting

(singing) Cos they finally met them up

(screaming)

(screaming and then he stops running) You know what? I’m scared. (screaming and running again)

Cooler

Woo! A little game of Catgut and mouse, and it looks like Catgut hates meeces to pieces.

Brattina

Eww! A mouse! Icky-icky-icky-poo yuck!

Brattina

Get him off me, Catgut! Get him off!

Nose Marie

Sakes alive! That’s no mouse! That’s a little bitty muffy doggy!

Katrina

Bra-Bra-Bra-Bra-Bra-Brat-t-t-ti-ti-ti-tina! Whoa!

Nose Marie

We have to save that cute little old pup!

Katrina

(Angry with her) Just for this, Brattina: You’ll get no stewed prunes for a week!