N1Newscaster 1
An English rock band which has somehow developed a following by spitting into the audience has come to this country saying it is here to rip some dollars off the Yanks.
N2Newscaster 2
The Sex Pistols are Britain's most successful punk rock group, and they go out of their way to shock and outrage people. At Heathrow Airport in London today, they spat at news photographers and cursed them. Our government refused to let the four musicians into our country at first because...
Malcolm[Mimicking an old woman's voice on phone] They're all criminals. You can check the records if you don't believe me.
N2Newscaster 2
They refused to talk and went directly to their connecting plane to Atlanta where they have a concert tomorrow night.
Malcolm
Steve!
Oh! This... is far too fucking fast. Malcolm!
Malcolm
Well, all hail, my slinky southern six-shooters!
[Chuckles] Nice of you to finally turn up.
Malcolm
Apologies, my Texan "Terribles", but I have been very busy attending to some important Sex Pistol business down in Los Angeles.
Well, oh, fearless fuck-up, I've been attending to some very important near-death business involving thousands of redneck cowboys baying for my blood.
We were all attending to that, all of us. Stop saying "me".
But I cop it the most because I'm the star. You hear that, Cookie? Me and you may as well piss off and finally go have some fun.
Oh, yeah, sounds good. When are we leaving?
Go! Won't be hardfinding another backing band.
[Chuckles] "Backing band". It's only me and John anyone actually looks at.
Thank fucking Christ they're not listening to you.
Doesn't matter what you sound like, it's what you look like what counts.
Yeah, fuck off, you little junkie.
Who you telling to fuck off?
Malcolm
Brilliant! [Laughs] Exactly as I planned! You were turning into a rock band, and how can any poor, disenfranchised kid relate to a rock band? Inaccessible. Famous. John was acting like Rod Stewart!
To be fair, he's got the hair for it now.
Malcolm
I needed to bring you back down to street-level where you belong, to throw you into the furnace and see what remains of you.
You are completely insane!
Malcolm
That is why I insisted that we only play the southern states. It is a shame about this place, though.
Why? This is the first proper venue we've had.
Malcolm
Warner wanted you to play all the big cities, but I told them, "They're not a rock band."
Then what the fuck are we?
Malcolm
Well... You are very soon to be... sexy Latin assassins.
WAWoman assistant
Dom Perignon.
Malcolm
You what? I have been in L.A. gathering funding for our new movie. "The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle". I've already recorded a track for it, and after this, we're gonna fly down to Rio. The Great Train Robber, Ronnie Biggs, is gonna be a guest vocalist on a Pistols track.
Malcolm
Ugh! It'll be fun. Come on, that whole outlaw spirit! And plus, girls don't wear many clothes down Rio way.
You fucking cunt! [Lunges at Malcolm]
Oi! [Repeatedly] Ah...! Hey! You calm down, Shirley Temple. [Chuckles]
[Spits on floor and walks away] Come on, Sidney. Sid!
Malcolm
Don't go running off with that miserable ponce! Come on, let's have some fun, eh?
I fucking hate you for what you did to Nancy. Never forget that.
Oi, what... What about soundcheck?
Oh, just fuck off! Who wants a drink?
Pistol · 61 quotes
