Phineas and Ferb · Season 1
Do you know what this is?
Uh, is it not a rabbit?
This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.
So why is he wearing a tutu?
He likes it! [to the rabbit] Don't worry, Mr. Cutie-Patootie, they're just jealous.
[confused explaining Candace that the carrots in the backyard disappear) I turn around a half of minute and-Poof!- now they're gone!
Welcome to my world.
[even more confused] Wow. That must be really annoying!
[to Candace] Look, the way I see it, you prevented me from going to the spa, you know what, almost killed me with a jackhammer, dropped a wall on me, I've got gypsum in my hair, and basically wasted my whole day, but you did it for love, so it's ok!
Excuse me, we have a delivery for Phineas Flynn.
That's me.
We've got 18 cases of cucumbers right here.
Say, aren't you a little young to order all this?
Yes, yes, he is. [to Phineas] Sorry, Phineas, he's new.
No problem, welcome to the job. Hey, where's Perry?
The poster's gone, right? Follow me.
[Outside…]
OH, MY STARS! Phineas and Ferb made THAT?! It's horribly unsafe and dangerous! [on phone] Hello, police! Fire department! Army Air Force? ANYONE?! SAVE MY SONS!
Roger, got the kids, bringing them down now.
Phineas, Ferb! You two are in so much trouble!
Yes, yes!
[satisfied] My work here is done.
Wait, Candace! You're grown up, and there's two of you!
Phineas, we're from the future—two alternative futures. One that's good...
...and one that's terrible.
Someone should really fix that.
We did.
So, the bad future no longer exists?
Right.
Well, if it doesn't exist, shouldn't Candace from the bad future cease to exist too?
[Beat]
Oh, darn. [Vanishes out of existence]
Candace, honey, get a hold of yourself. I'm no interest in busting the boys anymore.
What?! But you're me! You have to bust them, because I can't stop wanted to bust them!
You'll find out as you mature.
A time machine? [Gasps] Does this mean that all those times you told me the boys were up to something, they really were?
Yes, yes, yes!
Oh, honey. I am so sorry I didn't believe you!
Woohoo! I finally got them! [Future Linda does not say anything] Hello?!
What?
Aren't you going to bust them?!
Candace, my Phineas and Ferb are thirty years old now. Well, I suppose I could call them, but Phineas is in Switzerland for the award ceremony and Ferb's still in Camp David for-
Bust them! Young Phineas and Ferb!
I don't think I have jurisdiction on these guys anymore.
GRR! [sighs] Okay, but officially, on record, they are busted, right?
Sure, Candace. They're busted.
Yes!
"Aunt Isabella"? Did you hear that? I'm going to marry Phineas!
Or Ferb. [Ferb winks]
[to Xavier and Fred, who are in bumper cars] What are you doing?
Nothing...?
See Mom? They never do anything!
Give it a rest, Amanda.
I guess we don't have to go to the future after all.
Some other time, perhaps?
[Cut to end logos]
I'm watching you!
Hey, where's Perry?
He's doing a special appearance on a musical clip show.
Hmm... Well, good for him!
Don't go away, folks. We we come back we’ll have the final four… [holds up three fingers which is a mistake because he only has four; Phineas and Ferb characters only have four fingers. The audience laughs] Plus a special video that will enslave the Tri State Area! Hahahaha- I- I mean uh… engrave my pie plate carrier. [holds up a pie plate carrier] Look, it’s silver! It’s a wedding gift, I got it from the divorce, that’s right, ladies. I’m available… [trombone solo]
Avert your ears, Agent P! Avert your ears!
[Perry takes out a rocket launcher with a missile shaped like a finger and launches it at the Eject button of Doofenshmirtz's "Music Video Mind Control-inator", stopping the music]
No no no no! Get back in there! [pushes the CD tray back in, but it comes back out again] Wait, why is it— what? [cut to Perry, who is repeatedly hitting the eject button] Perry the Platypus!? I swear, out of all the aquatic mammals I hang with, you are truly the most uncooperative.
His name is Doof, and we'll do what he says: Whoop! Whoop! His name is Doof, and we'll do what he says: Whoop! Whoop!
It's working! It's working!
Oh no, Agent P! It's stuck in their heads! We need something even more catchy to counteract it! But what could we… [Perry opens the curtains, revealing a monitor] Agent P? Agent P, this is no time for decorating— [Looks at monitor, starting Gitchee Gitchee Goo Extended Version] Ooh, I see.
No! Not the number one requested Phineas and Ferb song! New extended version, never before seen. Not that!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Phineas and Ferb pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
